After three years of research for our brand-new book, Secrets of Sex & Marriage, coauthored with renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, we have identified what Hollywood – and your friend in the locker room – gets most wrong about sex. And what you can do right. Read more
New dads: Based on these recent findings, you can view early fatherhood as a crucial window in which your engagement with your baby has an outsized impact. It’s a bit like having a limited-time, use-it-or-lose-it financial windfall. God has apparently wired your brain in such a way that as you spend hands-on time with your newborn during this stage, your brain will rapidly change to literally make you a better dad for the rest of your life. Read more
So the overall implication is clear for all the fathers out there: the more you are intentionally involved with your child, regardless of your parenting stage, the more you will be deepening those neural pathways, increasing your competence, and enjoying the confidence that comes with it! Read more
These two articles (see Part 1, here) are new entries in our series to equip engaged and newlywed couples – and anyone else trying to create a great marriage. Based on more than 18 years of research and 12 nationally-representative studies with more than 40,000 men and women, these articles identify some of the most simple (but essential) habits for highly happy marriages. And this research is newly recovered from the vaults! Share it with those getting married! * Read more
Perhaps now more than ever before, this secret is vital to creating a great relationship. My hope is that it will help many newlyweds – and everyone else! – avoid a common conflict trap and build connection instead. Read more
The temptation is to “should” on yourself – to beat yourself up. (“I can’t believe I did that to my spouse. I should have started cleaning up right away instead of procrastinating. I should have not made the mess in the first place…”) Even though your inner “should” statements may in fact be true, beating yourself up won’t actually change things, except to make them worse. Why worse? Because “shoulds” lead to shame, shame leads to defensiveness, and defensiveness prevents learning and actively protects bad behavior. Read more
What a year! After a wild and unprecedented (!!) 2020 and 2021, I finally feel like 2022 ushered in the “new normal.” In-person speaking events started back up again, and oh how good it was to gather together! Our team was extra busy as we finalized the manuscript on my newest devotional in the Find Series called Find Hope, which will release later in 2023 as well as the culmination of our big three-year research project on S-E-X! Our book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage, co-authored by Dr. Michael Sytsma, releases February 7, 2023 and we couldn’t be more excited to share it with everyone! Read more
From shopping, cooking, wrapping, and year-end work projects, we all have enough to do this week. Oh, and don’t forget cookies for the neighbors! Or the attempts to organize a chaotic house into some sort of shape before the family get-together. Or the efforts to keep the peace between contentious Uncle Harry and our reactionary in-laws at said get-together. So, this week I’ll offer just two simple steps that not only may help transform your Christmas get-togethers but also your... Read more
Joy can be found even when there’s a lump in our throat. Let’s look for it¬ in the deep well of our memories. Let’s lean toward it by anticipating our heavenly home that awaits. And while we’re at it, let’s find joy in the here and now. When we invite joy to enter our hearts — just as Jesus entered our world two thousand years ago — we show a watching world the best demonstration of our faith. We show them what “good news of great joy” looks like: the light of Jesus that shines for all to see. Read more
There are three little truths we’ve seen in the research that are worth keeping an eye on right now: three keys for kicking holiday stress to the curb. Apply them and it is much more likely that you will enjoy the season and emerge with your relationships stronger. Read more
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