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Christian Piatt

Church Sign Epic Fails, “We Serve Minors” Edition

Last updated on: January 13, 2013 at 5:42 am

January 13, 2013 by Christian Piatt

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks him, “Hey, what’s the steering wheel for?” and the pirate says, “Arrgh, I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!”

minors — This could be taken about seven different ways, and so far, none of those ways I’ve come up with are good.

AlcoholicsAnonymous — What?!?! People in A.A smoke cigarettes??? Why didn’t anybody tell us this? Next thing you know they’re going to be drinking all our coffee and using our bathrooms. Enough is enough!

bomb — Yeah, no kidding. I mean all those Christians in the Crusades just used swords and catapulted their firebombs onto their victims. Body bombs are sooo cliche.

getlit — You know, the fact that Jewish services sometimes involve real wine cause me a moment of pause as to whether I should take them at their word on this one. Consider my interest piqued.

unconditional — That word, “Unconditional.” You keep using it. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

dropbox — But what they don’t tell you is that the result is the secretary rifling through the envelopes to look for checks and then putting all the prayers in a big basket for a handy-dandy “mass prayer.” Very efficient.

dontbedeceived — Whew, thank goodness this has NEVER been the message of Christianity. Otherwise this sign would be TOTALLY hypocritical. Lucky for us!

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Crush China for Jesus” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails: “Satan’s Graffiti” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beer in Hell” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Soul Harvest” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Advent Onslaught Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO EDITIONS OF CHURCH SIGN EPIC FAILS:

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

“Satan’s Graffiti” VIDEO edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Beer in Hell” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Advent Onslaught” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Faith vs. Reason Throwdown” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Chocolate Chip Christ” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

Church Sign Epic Fails VIDEO Debut

January 12, 2013

Reframing the Basis of Marriage with Gary Thomas

January 14, 2013 When Radical Welcome Gets Messy

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