I’ve been wondering lately if the devil is into Liza Minnelli. Because if he is, I’m pretty sure that’s a deal-breaker.
If you choose the latter, you’ll end up looking like Andre the giant with a big “OBEY” under your face. Not pretty.Hey, what if global warming is being caused by all the extra bodies being charcoaled in hell? Wouldn’t that be a theological conundrum for these guys!
Yeah, because Satan’s having a little thing there, and it’s kind of a VIP deal. Would really suck to have to turn you away at the door. Plus, the cover charge is, like, $666. Pretty steep.I wonder if they’ve noticed all the parts in the Quran about Jesus being a revered prophet of God…meh. Never mind.Sure you can! You just have to tell Satan that, just past God, there’s an ice cream truck. He’s such a sucker for bomb pops!What they don’t tell you is they check all your goat blood and sulphur at the coat closet. Kind of a bummer.So basically, what you’re saying is that hell is a White Lion concert? That pretty much makes sense.
Christian Piatt
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