I had such a great time during my interview with Troy McLaughlin from Project Pastor! Talking with Troy is just like having coffee with an old friend. He has a great big heart, to see pastors and their families healed and full of hope. During our interview, we discussed mental illness, addiction, and faith. We talked about life with Jesus and the hope that still exists in the Church today. I'm always pumped to share my story with a new audience. Read more
I wanted the experience of a communion - the drinking of spicy red wine and the breaking of day old country bread – but I knew I could never stand up to a God so holy. “Look at you with your history and your mess,” the voices in my head said, “Your bleeding emotions and smeared eyeliner and hard liquor liver. Your broken wild heart that falls too deeply and hides behind laughter that rings too loudly.” Read more
The past year was exhausting for Lindsey and me. We needed some space to breathe. In the words of the old song, we felt broken and spilled out, and the last thing we needed to do was to pour out more of ourselves in this moment. When we first returned to our old church, the youth minister said, “We’re so glad you’re here. For now, just rest. Let us know when you’re ready to get involved.” I was skeptical when I heard it. This church has a strong creative arts focus, full of many talented people, who also knew of my talents, so I held my breath, wondering how long it would be before someone asked me to serve. Read more
What do you do when those who are supposed to raise you, care for you, and protect you don’t do their job? As a Christian, how do you reconcile childhood trauma with a faith that teaches unconditional love, praying for your enemies, and grace for the even the worst of sinners? In today’s guest post, Tracey Casciano welcomes us into her world and doesn’t shy away from the hard questions. Grace is messy, Steve Until a few years ago, I lived... Read more
I was supposed to be pregnant. After years of waiting, I’d carried a baby just nine weeks before a miscarriage upended everything I ever thought I believed about the way God works. We deserve to be parents! I would yell at the sky. My husband and I were as devoted to one another as we were to God. God had no right to take my baby from me. He owed me big time. If this was a test, I was failing. That year I was bitter, angry, weepy, uncertain. Every time I entered God’s presence, I did not find peace or hope or patience. Instead, I came face to face with my own biting disappointment, and the God who had let me down. Read more
I was at a friend's house watching American Idol when I got a text message from a cute guy who was interested in me. We were old friends and had reconnected at church the previous Sunday. (I later found out he was too chicken to ask for my number, so he got it from a mutual friend.) He asked if we could go to the park and take a walk to catch up. It sounded like a great idea. Until I looked down at my outfit: an old high school t-shirt with multicolored paint stains, cotton gym shorts, flip-flops and a ponytail. A ponytail does not say "memorable first date." Internally, I freaked out. Read more
As the nurse wheeled me down the long and lonely corridor and through the locked doors of that ward, I felt hopeless and humiliated. But on the other side, I found help for my anxieties, rest for my soul, and practical ways to walk toward my new life. On my own, without the hope Christ brings, I also find myself at the end of the rope, but in the context of healthy community, wrestling alongside others who have their own burdens to bear, I know I can keep going. Read more
A True Story about what Love Does... Read more
Do you remember the iconic scene from Forrest Gump, when Forrest tells the woman on the bench next to him, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.” At 25, I had my entire life planned out. Whom I would marry, how many children I would have, my career, the car I would drive, the places I would travel. It was glorious. I thought I would only pick the chocolates I liked. Cancer upended it all. In the ugly packaging of cancer came my greatest joy. Read more
In times when I see someone I care about struggling, my default is to revert to my old ways of thinking. My "savior complex" kicks into overdrive and I have to stop myself from looking for the nearest phone booth to change from suit to superhero. Often, I hear some cherry-picked Scripture in my head and think how easy it would be to give a sense of hope that everything will magically be alright, just around the next bend. But not everyone is looking for a Super Christian. Not really. Read more
Grace is Messy
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