10 Reasons Why I Get Along With My Girlfriend’s Dildo

2. Just in case I want to mail a dildo to a Republican lawmaker, I have one around.

Remember when the right wing militia took over the bird sanctuary and America mailed them dildos?  Why not do it again?

Why not do it again?

I’m sure she’ll understand that in a vodka-fueled fit of righteous anger I mail her dildo to a homophobic Republican lawmaker. (?)