An LGBTQ Guide to Bringing Your Partner Home for Christmas

December 16, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

Meeting the parents. It’s an awkward, uncomfortable rite of passage; the stuff romantic comedies are made of—though decidedly less funny when it’s happening to you. Bringing home a serious romantic interest for the holidays is stressful enough for heterosexual couples, but it’s the apex of anxiety for many LGBTQ couples, especially those with Christian families. We should know: We went through it ourselves. Constantino came home to Southern California with David last year to spend Christmas with David’s family. We... Read more

The Case for Dating Non-Christians

December 7, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

Single Christians muddling through the dating scene probably have a checklist (mental if not actual) of the qualities they’re looking for in a partner. Whatever those preferences, church culture usually mandates singles to prioritize one characteristic above all others: The person’s faith. A non-Christian, they say, is a non-option. We beg to differ. Dating is difficult enough, for straight Christians for sure, but more so for LGBTQ Christians. The more filters we select on a dating search, the fewer people... Read more

Facing the Fear in Other Peoples’ Eyes

November 21, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

We’re not sure what to do with the fear we see in our friends’ eyes. As we wrote last week, we are concerned about the future of our country. We worry about a systemic corruption and breakdown of America’s political institutions under the new presidency. We worry about the rhetoric used by Donald Trump’s more violent supporters. But we don’t think the effects of even a worst-case scenario will be immediately felt on our day-to-day lives. Many of our friends, however, are afraid... Read more

Planning for the Collapse of America

November 16, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

Soon after the presidential election, we made the decision to take a week off blogging. It’s not that we didn’t have anything to say—it’s that there was too much to say, and too many people trying to say it. Instead of fighting to be heard among the cacophony of voices, we took the opportunity to rest and reflect…and then prepare for the collapse of America as we know it. We don’t mean that as a metaphor. We mean it as... Read more

Standing on the shoulders of LGBTQ saints

October 31, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

The Feast of All Saints, celebrated on Nov. 1, is rarely acknowledged in evangelical circles. Our non-denominational church, which follows the liturgical calendar, observed it this past Sunday. “The Festival of All Saints,” our church bulletin explained, “celebrates the faithful men and women, known and unknown, past and present, whose lives have been marked by the love and grace of God. It is an opportunity for us, as a church, to thank God for them and to remember the roles... Read more

A mother to her son: “I’d rather you be dead than gay”

October 29, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

Family rejection is the main cause for homelessness among LGBT youth, and the statistics on this are alarming. The National Coalition for the Homeless reports that 40% of homeless youth are LGBT—this is highly disproportionate, considering that gay people do not make up anywhere near 40% of the population. Even more distressing is the fact that gay and lesbian youth are four times more likely than their straight peers to attempt suicide. A few months ago we got a letter through... Read more

The Price Churches Pay for Embracing LGBT Christians

October 22, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

For churches that make the difficult decision to welcome and affirm LGBT congregants, there’s a kind of “coming out” process that is no less traumatic for the institution than it is for an individual. The church faces rejection from some of the very people who once called it family; it often finds itself emotionally isolated and financially unsupported; it endures accusations of godlessness and warped theology. It becomes the outcast. And like LGBT people themselves, sometimes the burden becomes too... Read more

Five Things Learned in Five Months of Marriage

October 18, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

If you’re new to our blog you may not know that we’re still newlyweds. We’ve only been married five months. We started blogging soon after we got engaged because when we looked for resources to navigate these waters of faith, sexuality, and marriage, we found there weren’t many. There’s no shortage of advice for Christian couples, but almost all of it comes from a gender complementarity perspective—the role of a wife, the duty of a husband—and that makes it inapplicable to... Read more

Should We Dump the Word Christian?

October 13, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

This year’s election season has increased comments we’ve heard from progressive Christian friends for years: People who have been wounded by the church, or who have otherwise become disenchanted with the religious right’s increasingly bigoted and nationalist undertones, have come to see the label “Christian” as toxic. They follow Jesus but can’t stomach the idea of being associated with some of the Christians we see in the media. The term has become too loaded, too pernicious. The conversation has sparked... Read more

God’s Not On Our Side

October 8, 2016 By David and Constantino Khalaf

As a married gay couple, it’s virtually impossible for us to avoid being pigeonholed when it comes to politics. People from all points on the political spectrum have assumed we’re progressive liberals (living in Portland only exacerbates the stereotype). We’ve had multiple interactions in which friends, assuming we share their same beliefs, have confessed to us their most intimate left-wing desires. These conversations typically devolve into awkward laughs and half-hearted nods. Although David’s views are left-leaning, he’s effectively a centrist.... Read more