The Problem with Gay Conversion Anecdotes

The gay conversion success story is a popular trope among evangelical church blogs and other conservative faith-based media. It usually takes the form of a profile of someone in a church or faith organization who has heroically overcome their sexual temptations with the help of their church community, prayer, and the divine touch of God. [Read More…]

5 Questions for Queer Christians About Finding the Right Church

Many LGBTQ Christians who attend a conservative, non-affirming church will at some point face an internal struggle: Should I stay where I’m not fully welcome, or should I find a new church? The question often produces a cocktail of emotions, especially for those who love their church and the relationships they’ve built. There’s often a [Read More…]

The Ultimate Resource Guide for LGBTQ Christians and Allies

We get all sorts of questions from readers about resources for LGBTQ Christians and their families: What books will help my own doubts about same-sex relationships? Where can my mom go to get support from other parents of LGBTQ children? How can my church start talking about faith and sexuality more constructively? So we decided [Read More…]

God, Church, and Gay Loneliness

For gay men, life outside the closet can be brutal, and not only due to homophobia. A recent longform article by Michael Hobbes on the Huffington Post went into detail about “The epidemic of gay loneliness.” In it, Hobbes describes a toxic environment that leaves many gay men feeling isolated, even in the most progressive [Read More…]

Why I’ll Mourn Joe Nicolosi, Reparative Therapy Icon

By David Khalaf My former therapist is dead. The news came out of Los Angeles this week that Joseph Nicolosi, one of ex-gay therapy’s greatest champions for decades, died of complications with the flu at age 70.  Some members of the LGBTQ community may offer flippant reactions or begrudging respects. Those who struggled under the weight of his [Read More…]

Six Videos That Help You Understand LGBTQ Christians

The experience of LGBTQ people in the church is often fraught with conflict. When a person comes out, their newfound safety in God comes often at the expense of safety within their community. To better understand what it is like, for them and their loved ones, we recommend watching these videos:   “Through My Eyes”: [Read More…]

Five Struggles Unique to LGBTQ Marriages

Same-sex marriages are just like opposite-sex marriages, right? Well, yes and no. The dynamics of human relationship are universal. In some ways we connect, and in others we inevitably clash. And all marriages have underlying commonalities: communication, compromise, connection. But because of our culture, our government, and our churches, LGBTQ marriages face unique struggles, even in [Read More…]

If You Want to be a Trans Ally, Declare Your Pronouns

We’re cisgender men. The pronouns we want people to use when referring to either of us are he, him, and his. Why does this matter, and what does it even mean? Being cisgender means that we identify with the gender we were “assigned at birth.” In blunt terms, it means that the genitals with which [Read More…]

How to Help a Queer Person with Church PTSD

We love our church. The preaching is always timely and thought-provoking. The worship—liturgical but free of pomp—moves us, bringing us to those thin places where we feel an intimate connection with the divine. Most of all, we love the people. When we first moved to Portland we thought it would be temporary. Now, despite both [Read More…]

When You Can’t Avoid Politics

In the past week, we’ve written about the government’s move to ban Muslim refugees and the importance of staying united even when our own cause isn’t in peril. Now we’re supposed to go back to writing about our main topics: marriage and LGBTQ relationships. But we can’t. As much as we both want to change the subject away [Read More…]