A Clenched Fist When We Need Open Hands

We wish our brothers at the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood had refrained from putting forth their ill-timed “Nashville Statement.” We wish they hadn’t felt compelled to draw this line in the sand. The history of the Church reads like a catalog of these kinds of lines, and none of them have ever brought us any closer to the Kingdom. Lines serve one purpose: to divide. The question in both our minds, as we talked about this over dinner… Read more

Dear Eugene Peterson, We Will Read Your Books

Dear Pastor Peterson, We were thrilled when we read on Wednesday that you had come to accept and affirm same-sex relationships. There are scant few leaders in the evangelical world who would break bread with our rag-tag community of outcasts. We knew your wisdom and the respect it has garnered would go a long way in healing the hearts of LGBTQ Christians who have faced nothing but rejection. Your words were a balm to the wounds of many. You can… Read more

Christian Men: Sit Down

Both of us were brought up with good manners. We were raised to be gentlemen. We learned, for example, that when a woman approaches, men must stand up. But should we, really? We’ve begun to suspect that what we as men must actually do in the presence of women is sit down. We’re at the dawn of a new, God-breathed movement in the world; it’s one we believe will transform Christianity in ways as profound as the shift that occurred… Read more

A Weekend with Parents of LGBTQ Christians

We were lucky enough to volunteer at the the Gay Christian Network’s inaugural Parents’ Retreat  two weekends ago. We were impressed by the diversity of people who attended. There were parents whose child had come out to them decades ago, and parents whose child had come out only three months ago. There were parents deeply involved in their church, and parents who had been burned by the church and stopped attending. There were parents who embraced their LGBTQ child’s sexual… Read more

The Problem with Gay Conversion Anecdotes

The gay conversion success story is a popular trope among evangelical church blogs and other conservative faith-based media. It usually takes the form of a profile of someone in a church or faith organization who has heroically overcome their sexual temptations with the help of their church community, prayer, and the divine touch of God. But scrape off the inspirational veneer of these conversion stories and discover the content for what it really is: a deceptive tactic to drive a… Read more

5 Questions for Queer Christians About Finding the Right Church

Many LGBTQ Christians who attend a conservative, non-affirming church will at some point face an internal struggle: Should I stay where I’m not fully welcome, or should I find a new church? The question often produces a cocktail of emotions, especially for those who love their church and the relationships they’ve built. There’s often a tug-of-war between duty and self care, between a desire to change minds and the need to tend to one’s own tender heart. We’ve attended both… Read more

Modern Kinship’s Resource Guide for LGBTQ Christians and Allies

We get all sorts of questions from readers about resources for LGBTQ Christians and their families: What books will help my own doubts about same-sex relationships? Where can my mom go to get support from other parents of LGBTQ children? How can my church start talking about faith and sexuality more constructively? So we decided to compile a guide of our favorite resources, organized by topic, which we’ll continually update and modify. It includes books, blogs, support groups and advocacy… Read more

God, Church, and Gay Loneliness

For gay men, life outside the closet can be brutal, and not only due to homophobia. A recent longform article by Michael Hobbes on the Huffington Post went into detail about “The epidemic of gay loneliness.” In it, Hobbes describes a toxic environment that leaves many gay men feeling isolated, even in the most progressive and gay-affirming cities.  It is a raw, difficult read, and it reminded us to never take for granted the community with which we’ve been gifted…. Read more

Why I’ll Mourn Joe Nicolosi, Reparative Therapy Icon

By David Khalaf My former therapist is dead. The news came out of Los Angeles this week that Joseph Nicolosi, one of ex-gay therapy’s greatest champions for decades, died of complications with the flu at age 70.  Some members of the LGBTQ community may offer flippant reactions or begrudging respects. Those who struggled under the weight of his therapy may feel a quiet sense of relief. Me, I’m mostly sad. I saw Nicolosi on and off for six years, from roughly 1997 to… Read more

Six Videos That Help You Understand LGBTQ Christians

The experience of LGBTQ people in the church is often fraught with conflict. When a person comes out, their newfound safety in God comes often at the expense of safety within their community. To better understand what it is like, for them and their loved ones, we recommend watching these videos:   “Through My Eyes”: True stories of young gay Christians. This documentary features interviews with young people who have seen their lives personally affected by the debate over homosexuality… Read more

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