Dear Lori, I happened upon your blog following a link from a different one. Your writings are something I would have lapped up when I first got married nearly fourteen years ago, so this letter is basically me trying to protect that very young, naive, just married me from the harm your writings would have caused.
I have no doubt you started out with the best intentions. You read Debi Pearl’s Created book – I nearly bought that book eight years ago, but the negative reviews and some obsessive reading on their site kept me from buying it-, and you set out to share your new wisdom with any woman who might be open to learn something new. Don’t we all do that? It worked for you, Debi says it will work for practically every woman, of course you had to share.
Years later, you have established yourself as what you call a “Titus 2 woman” and your blog is your ministry.
I’ve spent some time on your blog, I’ve read several of your articles and have watched your activity on Facebook, all along with the feeling that something just doesn’t compute.
1.You call yourself a Titus 2 woman, an older woman who should teach the younger women. You say you need to obey this calling. As an older woman, you should lead a reverent life, not slander, not drink too much wine and teach what is good. Then you can go on with your ministry to urge the younger women to do what is good and pleasing to God. During the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that you like to poke around in other women’s business and you like to post about their lives on your blog. Your posts are mostly very negative, pointing out how women fail, how they have no interest in the things you want to teach. How immodest they are because they wear yoga pants. You immediately assume that “many women today” are just rebellious and disobedient. Is that what Paul instructed the older women to do? To point out what all is wrong in every other woman’s life?
2. As a “Titus 2 woman” you say that you want to minister to younger women, and you only teach the “women’s side”. The actual body of your posts is usually either an exhortation to women or a rebuke. Lately there have been a few posts that were strongly against women, even one accusing women of “ruining” marriage for the men. The women who read your blog, and whose comments you allow through, are the kind that don’t even think about things like divorce, getting alimony from their ex-husband or abusing their husbands. You could say you are preaching to the choir most of the time, but you still post these strange things, like the post against women running for office or the one about women ruining marriage for men. Which leads me to the next point.
3. You say you only teach women, yet many men read and post on your blog and on your facebook page. The very nature of your posts supports their desires, The post about how men are realizing marriage is nothing good for them was literally taken over by the men, who had no problem scolding one of your regular readers, questioning the godliness of her relationship with her husband and accusing her of “usurping authority”. The post even quoted a man’s comments. A few of your readers left replies complaining about the presence of the men on your blog, stating that it makes them feel uncomfortable and even telling you they have, sadly, decided to leave your blog. You defended the men’s right to post on your blog and said that you like the interaction. How is that ministering to the women? Especially considering the next point
4. You like to teach women to consider others as above themselves, to obey even when it doesn’t feel good or even seem to make sense. Not to do what feels or seems right, but to obey God’s word as you understand it. Why are you discarding these women’s complaints, especially considering that you, allegedly, want to minister to them? Why do you allow men to post inflammatory and possibly hurtful comments on your blog when you claim it’s a ministry to women? You say you don’t teach men, why are you posting exactly what they want to read on your blog and encouraging them to interact with you?
5. You say that everything you teach is straight from the Bible and that anyone who disagrees with you, disagrees with God. I googled your name and found a couple of interesting threads on a popular Christian blogger’s site where you very aggressively defend your stance and even hint towards the other bloggers’ stance being “less Biblical”. Do you know how ridiculously arrogant that assertion is?
Sorry to burst your bubble, but about 80% of what you write is your own opinion. Yes, you use a handful of verses and generally base your post on some verse or another, but you’re generally taking the passage out of context and adding a lot of your own thoughts to it. Lori, your opinions aren’t God’s word and some people think your interpretation is a bit off.
But anyone who disagrees might find their comment posted on your blog as the basis of a new post where you berate the poster and call her rebellious or disobedient. A mere question may lead to one of your handwritten pages on Facebook calling the poster “foolish” for not agreeing with you.
People defend you, Lori, but I think they are blinkered and unable to see how inconsistent you are. I think it’s time you took a very big step back and had a look at your so-called ministry to see if you’re actually doing what you set out to do, and if you’re actually right in your judgments. Humility, teachability, compassion, love, are traits of a Christian. A gentle and quiet spirit doesn’t go out looking for something to rant about. A chaste and discreet woman doesn’t want to know about another woman’s husband’s sexual life. A keeper at home doesn’t hop from blog to blog to find out what’s new, who’s had a divorce, whom can I tear down today?
Right now, as you are using your blog, I can only hope many of your readers wake up to the negative and critical tone and the favoring of male posters and walk away. There are many blogs written by women for women where they will find the encouragement they need without the negative spin. I wish you all the best!
Would you like to write for NLQ or write your own ‘Dear Lori’ letter? You don’t need a blog, we do accept anonymous contributions. Please email SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com if you are interested.
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