Quoting Quiverfull: Corrections Are Not Criticism?

Quoting Quiverfull: Corrections Are Not Criticism? February 14, 2017

quotingquiverfullby Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – My Six Year Blogging Anniversary

Editor’s note: This is from the very first blog post Alexander wrote. Then she goes on to complain about meanies who leave negative comments on her blog. So which is it? Where is the line between someone correcting you and someone being critical for the sake of being negative? Aren’t these sometimes the exact same thing? Don’t they hold some possible validity even if you don’t want to hear it?

I had a light bulb moment the other day.  I HATE it when Ken “criticizes” me…Other people can do it, but when he does my feathers get ruffled.  I was listening to a program the other day and the man was saying his wife had to realize that when he was correcting her, it was just that…correction, not criticism.  I thought, “WOW! I need to take Ken’s criticism as correction and learn from it!”

I have such a need to be perfect that I needed to realize I’m far from perfect and listen to his correction and learn…My pride and ego get in the way.  Proverbs says a wise man listens to rebuke.  Iron sharpens iron.  Always learning…

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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  • Nightshade

    ‘I have such a need to be perfect…My pride and ego get in the way.’ Ain’t THAT the truth!

  • Wow, I think being corrected in that sense by a partner is even worse than being criticized.

    I mean, sure, let me know if I said “analog” when i meant “digital”, if it makes the statement unintelligible, but to be corrected in the sense of “your behavior is inappropriate” or “you must have dinner on the table when I get home”? FUCK THAT NOISE.

  • Christine Sarah Pike

    I’m almost beginning to feel sorry for her – I suspect that neurotic need for perfection is what has brought her to this sorry state.

  • Jennny

    And in the highly, highly unlikely event of her becoming perfect, she would be so proud of it, her ego would almost burst.

  • SAO

    There are some corrections that are helpful, like ‘remember to use your turn signals, when driving’ or ‘this is an easier way to chop onions’, but I don’t think Lori means anything like that.

    I try to get my son to not react to every correction as criticism. Such as when I point out to him that this belongs there, when he put it somewhere else. I do it nicely, mildly, unless I think he should have known or have told him 59 times already.

  • Nightshade

    I actually do feel a little sorry for her, would feel a lot more so if she weren’t so dead set on forcing every other woman to share in the private hell of her own making. Just like Debi Pearl.

  • You’ve alluded to my point by mentioning your son. Corrections, in general, are for parent to child or boss to employee. Criticism is between equals.

    Even so I get quite irritated when my partner comments on my driving unless there’s an immediate danger. I’m a grown-up and I can choose for myself whether or not to follow the traffic laws. They can choose whether or not to ride in the car with me.

  • Christine Sarah Pike

    Good distinction! And illustrates how infantilizing these relationships are for women.