by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn’t Rape
I’ve had a hard time keeping my mouth shut lately in regards to the total and complete hypocrisy of Quiverful/Evangelical female cultural enforcer Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife.
Lori has recently been martyrbating over the fact that many of us resist her theology, mistakenly claiming that anyone not lining up with her claims hates her.
I don’t know about everyone else that opposes her, but I don’t hate her. I feel sorry for her mostly, occasionally amused by her words and claims, but my primary emotion towards her is the deepest of pities. An emotion you might feel towards someone unable to see, or walk, or suffering needlessly.
She’s missed so much. In her book ‘The Power of the Transformed Wife’ she exhibits she’s never experienced some of the best things about faith, grace, mercy, lovingkindness. She’s looking through a glass darkly, but it’s gone on so long that she’s blinded to anything but judgment and fear. She’s missed out on a satisfying marriage, happy fulfilled motherhood and being loved deeply by others. She flails around, from legalistic idea to idea, changing her theology to suit herself and her life. The clearest example of this is her recent kitchen remodel.
I just finished a kitchen remodel myself so in the past three or four months I’ve been immersed in researching the complexities of remodeling the kitchen. My kitchen is small, I’ve never been into material things, but I wanted to upgrade it and remodel because we’re renting it out while we’re living in Costa Rica. I haven’t touched it as far as upgrading in over ten years, from the time when my asthma went insane.
Lori had this to say back in May 2011 about kitchen remodels and granite countertops, which I found surprising considering how many times Lori photographs her own kitchen for blog posts:
Ken always thought I wanted granite counter tops in my kitchen with gorgeous stainless steel appliances. I don’t. I never have but after watching that show, I realized if I did get those counter tops and appliances, they wouldn’t make me any happier. Stuff never makes anyone happier. Being content with what we have makes us happy. Working hard and having a purpose greater than ourselves makes us happy. Having meaningful relationships in our life make us happy. Knowing who I am in Christ and all the riches I have in Him, being thankful for all that I have; this is what makes me happy. What makes you happy?
Recently, during my own kitchen remodel, Lori also remodeled her kitchen. Good for her, I’m happy for her. But, Lori did a serious flipflop and has been promoting false ideas about that remodel by claiming that granite countertops and sinks are somehow ‘Godly’ because granite is a natural stone.
After endless research this just makes me laugh! Granite countertops are natural stone, but they undergo a seriously unnatural transformation into those countertops. The granite sinks are not entirely natural stone, but an amalgam of granite pieces and unnatural plastics.
Here’s Lori’s claims from her new blog:
Our old sink was completely rusted out so it leaked and our stove top didn’t work well, plus our counter-tops (Corian) had cracks in it so we changed to granite, an amazing sink (Blanco which is 80% granite), and a new stainless steel stove-top. We then had our cabinets painted an off-white (replacing them is way too expensive!) and had a great tile guy create our back-splash with natural stone and glass tiles. We will paint the walls a warm beige in the fall (yes, the sunflowers will go). One thing I do notice is that products made by God (wood floors, granite counter-tops and sinks, and stone tiles) are far more beautiful and stronger than anything man can make!
Granite is beautiful, that is for sure, even if I’m hearing from a few interior designers I know that it’s becoming less desirable and dated in some places. It’s not the most durable, it can be burned, scored or break.
This is one of those things that makes me laugh because I think it’s perfectly fine to have personal preferences. What’s not fine is to wrap it in claims that it is ‘God’s Will’, like Lori does. As women spent more time in the kitchen that men in most relationship (there are exception, like my father who did all the cooking) it just makes sense to decorate or set it up in a way pleasing to the person that uses the actual room the most.Lori just needs to come out and admit she wanted a new kitchen. There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things and to have a kitchen you want to spend time in. Just admit it.
I did not go with granite. Our house is going as a rental. If it was me remodeling the kitchen for my happiness I would have gone with a recycled glass and seashell countertop, so beautiful! But I’m afraid to leave that countertop for a renter because, like granite, it has its fragility and quirks of use. I went with a higher grade laminate with a copper sink and faucet, copper backsplash and copper fittings with white painted walls and appliances.
If we come back to the States to live in that house again I’ll remove the laminate for the recycled glass and seashell and mount all the copper panels on the walls. I like nice things too, I just don’t think my opinions are also God’s opinions.
Suzanne Titkemeyer is the admin at No Longer Quivering. She’s been out of the Quiverfull Evangelical world for nine years now and lives in the beautiful Piedmont section of Virginia for now with her retired husband and assorted creatures. If eye rolling was an Olympic sport she would take the Gold every time. She blogs at Every Breaking Wave and True Love Doesn’t Rape
Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:
Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com
Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus
Check out today’s NLQ News at NLQ Newspaper
Contact NLQ at SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com