Quoting Quiverfull: You Silly Harlot?

Quoting Quiverfull: You Silly Harlot? August 3, 2017

Lori Alexanders Brainby Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – Arrayed and Acting Like a Harlot

Editor’s note: You know what’s not kind, loving, Christian, helpful or modest? Calling other women harlots or claiming their behavior is selfish. What was that old schoolyard rhyme about calling folks names and it bouncing off to stick to them? Was it not that long ago that Lori was swanning around in shorts that publicly exposing her thighs? That must be one strong glass house she’s living in. How about this? Wear whatever you are comfortable in and let others worry about their attire. You do not get any say over what others wear and when you speak out about it you upset the wearer unnecessarily. It’s okay not to like everything everyone else wears. It’s not okay to be a jerk about it.

From this old commentary, we are given some guidelines about what is considered immodest. Wearing showy, gaudy garments designed to show off and draw attention to ourselves is not being ‘shamefaced’ (1 Timothy 2:9) as we are called to do. The word ‘modest’ not only describes covering up but includes not spending a lot of money on our clothing and not being excessive or extreme in the amount of clothing we own, as many are prone to do today. We need to learn to deny ourselves and not live for what we want but for what God commands.

It’s shameful how packed full most of our closets are with clothing that we never wear. Our time and money shouldn’t be spent at the malls and pouring over the Internet for more clothes to buy; for godliness with contentment is great gain. Let’s not be known for how we dress but for how kind and loving we speak and act instead.

Our clothing must not be too short or too form fitting, as to show off our bodies in order to entice men. Our desire should never be to try to attract attention by the clothes we wear or cause men to stumble and lust after us but to cover up and respect the men in our lives.

Next, the harlot is known for being subtil of heart. “Feigning love to her husband and devotion to her lovers, yet caring for none, only to satisfy her own passions” (Ellicott’s Commentary). She is selfish, self-seeking, and doesn’t care who she hurts in the process. Sadly, many women, even Christian women, don’t care about causing harm to their husbands and children as they divorce their husbands because they aren’t happy, fulfilled, or any other adjective they use to justify their selfish behavior.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

moreRead more by Lori Alexander

Submission Heals Marriage


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Tawreos

    I have finally come to realize what I dislike about all of these christian advice columnists. They have never learned that the world is not sharply divided into black and white, but is instead mostly gray. They have also never learned that each individual will draw the line that they will not cross in a different place according to what they feel is right. In Lori’s world, divorce is always bad, in a gray world divorce can be a good thing if handled correctly. By treating it all as black and white, Lori gets to show how much holier she is than thou and to also exert dominance over others. Her advice could be useful if she attempted to tie it to the individual requesting it instead of always tying it back to her warped interpretation of the bible.

  • Mel

    Lori, I’m still waiting for you to be kind and loving in the way you speak to people online. Let me know when you decide to do that.

  • Nea

    Lori? Why should I take modesty lessons from a short shorts-wearing tart? You do know that your rules apply to you too?

  • Snowflake

    I’m also amazed that she thinks people care what she thinks.

  • Anri

    From the OP:

    You know what’s not kind, loving, Christian, helpful or modest?

    Well, it’s not kind, loving, helpful, or modest, anyway.

  • SAO

    So, wanting to be happy or fulfilled is selfish behavior? Misogynistic much?

  • pagankitty

    Faking love for husband, caring only for herself, not caring who she hurts….sounds an awful lot like you, Lori.

  • Jo

    Did you read the Facebook comment by K. Steven on this blog post and the attack on her, in particular by Mykal Gabor. It took some time before someone came to her rescue but by that point she was quite upset. It was nasty and Lori showed no compassion or feeling towards the lady . Made me sick

  • Jo

    She wrote on Facebook that offending others is perfectly ok and Christian because she is telling the “truth”.

  • Tawreos

    Compassion towards a fellow human being is only earned by complete submission to her god and her way of thinking. If people won’t submit to those two things then people like Lori believe they deserve what they get.

  • Tawreos

    She also believes that being hateful is OK if you believe it to be “god’s love”

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    Let’s not be known for how we dress but for how kind and loving we speak and act instead.

    Let’s not be known for how we dress, but DEFINITELY make sure you dress in the specific way I tell you!

  • Nightshade

    Aunt Lori, the patron saint of ass-hanging-out shorts and deep v-neck tops…but only if she’s wearing them. On second thought, scratch that. She’s the patron saint of hypocrites.

  • Alexandra jackson

    Many children are much happier when their parents divorce.I would have been.Listening to their arguments,always being stuck in the middle,used as a pawn against in their war,it’s hell.Especially when separate from one another,they actually act like decent people.Even when they’re not arguing,it’s hard watching them be miserable,knowing it’s your fault(since they stayed together out of some misguided obligation towards you).It’s emotional abuse to force a child to stay in that kind of house.

  • AFo

    Not only mysogynistic, but seemingly an admission that a woman shouldn’t expect happiness or fulfillment in her marriage, because in this culture, there’s none to be found.

  • Nea

    It’s long been my opinion that most of the people following the “advisors” are terrified of even 5 shades of grey and have no way of dealing with nuance.

    Therefore, they rush to someone who gives simple, direct, “yes/no, right/wrong” answers. Worse, they raise their kids to think this way (I’m thinking of the Duggars and Pearls) who literally cannot cope with even 1 shade of gray or any situation outside the pat answers they know.

  • paganheart

    She projects what she reflects, like so many of these so-called “leaders.”

  • Aloha

    OK, I know old-style English (Early Modern English) is more holy than our godless modern vernacular …

    But 2 “subtil”s in 2 days? Can we not at least use standard spelling? Will God’s Word lose all it’s power?

  • katiehippie

    My kids are much happier that I got divorced.

  • katiehippie

    Empathy can be very lacking with people like Lori. Even when I was a believer I knew better than to ask for any kind of help from the church with my drug addict husband. I knew I would be the one not doing it right. I would be the one blamed.

  • AuntKaylea

    Obsolete language for obsolete advice. . .

  • Ruthitchka

    I have experienced that not only the church but society in general here in the U.S. tends to blame the wife/mom for anything that goes wrong. It’s irritating. It is as if we have all the responsibility and zero power to change anything.

    That being said I am sorry that your church was that way!

  • Ruthitchka

    In my case it was not about not being fulfilled. The kids had grown up and left home, and the domestic violence went from verbal to physical. One night the ex really scared me and our dogs out of our wits, and I finally realized I had to leave for my own safety. I still feel guilty about it though. I suppose that comes from everything I heard about the subject in church and in “regular” life! I did put in 36 years with Mr. Ex. I think that is enough.

  • Tuna

    Yes, Lord’s advice to an unhappy wife is to just stop being unhappy.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    That’s the actual spelling in KJV. Looked it up because I was puzzled. I find it actually kind of funny that once a writer higher up on the fame/holiness scale says something it’s not long before Lori parrots the same line exactly.

  • Allison the Great

    The truth is she likes being an ass. She doesn’t have enough empathy to be anything else. In the bible she finds justification for being the asshole that she is.

  • Allison the Great

    They like some simplicity, and ignore complexity. I think this is because in this subculture, thinking critically is strongly discouraged. They don’t teach it in bible schools, everything is always black and white as you said. In my ten years I was always told to adjust my worldview when I would suggest that something that was being discussed in literature or bible class was a more complex issue than what they were saying it was. They see things in black and white because doing anything else requires thinking about it in terms they think are heretical, or it requires more empathy and I’ve met so many that have turned that off so to say. Or they are like Lori , who doesn’t like thinking at all.

  • smrnda

    Does she get that many ‘packed closets’ are packed full of clothes that were given away for free, purchased used at very low cost, or that the reason they aren’t being worn is that a person’s weight can fluctuate often enough and having a few boxes of larger/smaller than you currently wear clothes is better than getting rid of them and them buying new clothes every few years?

  • Lori continues showing she doesn’t live by her own rules…definitely “do as I say not as I do” mentality.

  • Yep. I’ve noticed the same thing.

  • Aimee Shulman

    I was going to guess “Lori” to be the answer

  • Melody