by Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife – There is Hope and There is Light
Editor’s note: From Lori’s chatroom. Let me repeat this before you read the piece – NO ONE, NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE ANOTHER PERSON CHANGE! The only person that you can change is yourself. More likely the husband grew tired of his problems and decided to change on his own. Did the wife make it easier? Sure, I don’t doubt that she helped him, but ultimately the decision to change came down to the husband, not the wife.
As marriage goes on through the years many people see how their behavior is negatively affecting their spouse and themselves and as they gain some wisdom, perspective and maturity they change for the better and settle down. It has nothing to do with winning anyone else over without a word. This post is a good example of disordered thinking and projection.
I want to take a moment and share an experience with you ladies who have husbands who are not only disobedient to the Word, but in direct contrast with it. I was sorting through years of paperwork this morning and I found some very old receipts and statements. I found my husband’s ambulance bill from when he crashed his car into a house while driving drunk. I found his income statement for that same year: $5700. I found a credit card bill with his mother’s signature. Court documents. Prescriptions for antidepressants.
God used this to show me how far he has come. I am guilty of having high expectations of my husband. God used this to show me that my husband is a transformed and redeemed man now; born again. These events happened just seven and a half years ago in 2009. My husband is seven and a half years clean and sober. He has held the same job for seven years this September, received several promotions, and now makes ten times the amount he made in 2009.
We both got saved in 2012 and he is growing as a man of God every single day. He has never been one to read the Bible often, but I have been struggling with depression and it has been very difficult these past few weeks. He has been praying over me and reading devotions to me at night and sometimes in the morning, too. We recently bought a house, and although we have a little debt (we are working on that), all our bills are paid and he even has retirement investments through work. He is a completely changed man, and I forget that often.
She goes on to claim this only happened because she was on her knees praying for him, she was cheerful and submissive and she won him without a word. If Lori’s advice works so well then why is she depressed? Either it works or it doesn’t. Sounds to me like someone is in denial. I hope she gets treatment for her depression.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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