Questioning the Pearls – Husband Free to Treat You Badly, But You Must be Good?

Questioning the Pearls – Husband Free to Treat You Badly, But You Must be Good? July 30, 2017

QuestioningthePearlsToday’s entry isn’t a Pearl letter followed by bad advice. It’s examples from Michael Pearl’s view of how you are not and are supposed to respond to your husband. Many of the how to’s sound to me like something a house slave might say or do. Why can’t a man run his own damn bathwater and put Epsom salts in if his back is sore? I’m going to respond to Michael’s examples and encourage you to do so in the comments below.

For well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering β€˜Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give.

Today’s entry is here.

Example 1

First couple:
Charley says to Joan, his wife, β€œHey, Honey, guess who won the game last night?” Joan responds, β€œWho cares?” (This shows contempt.)

Second couple:
Nick says to his wife, Sue, β€œHey, Honey, guess who won the game last night?” Sue responds, β€œNow, don’t tell me, because I want to guess. From your tone I would guess…YOUR team.” Upon questioning the two women at a later date, it was learned that neither wife had any interest or knowledge in the game, yet one wife had what we would call good will toward her husband and therefore took pleasure in HIS pleasure.

Why does a wife have to care about his pleasure over a sports game? Surely there is a middle ground between being nasty and fawning over something you do not care about.

Example 2

First couple:
June says to her husband, β€œWow, Ray, look at this! Dillard’s has a half-price sale today.” Ray ignores her. (Ignoring a spouse lowers their value, which is very destructive.)

Second couple:
Evelyn sees the same sale. β€œWow, Al, Dillard’s has a half-price sale today.” Al responds with a wink, β€œToo bad we don’t need anything.” Later upon questioning, both men agreed that they preferred that their wife not go to the Dillard’s sale.

Controlling, contemptuous and infantalizing behavior by the husbands. What would have been the harm in doing what the wife wanted and at least checking out the sale? The way both men responded is abusive.

Example 3

First couple:
Bill says to his wife, Beth, β€œMy back is killing me. I need a long, hot bath.” Beth ignores him.

Second couple:
John says to his wife, Cari, β€œMy back is hurting so bad. I need a long, hot bath.” Cari responds, β€œI’m sorry, honey. I’ll go run the water for you and add Epsom salts to help relieve the pain.”

Better option – responding with a β€˜Hey we have plenty of Epsom salts in the cabinet below the sink if you want a long soak.’

Example 4

First couple:
Joe says to his wife, Tee, β€œI can’t find any clean socks. Where are they?” Tee takes offense, assuming he is blaming her for not having the socks available, and responds, β€œIt’s not my problem.”

Second couple:
Sam says to his wife, Rachel, β€œWhere are the clean socks?” She calls back, β€œLook in the bottom drawer.” Both men forgot the socks were kept in the bottom drawer (a normal man habit).

Jaw drop. If you have lived in the same home for more than a few weeks and keep putting things in the same place each time why can’t the man remember where his socks are? Disrespect? Because it’s not important to him because he knows that his female slave will always provide those socks upon request?


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