In my promised Loritorium of the writings of one Lori Alexander may I introduce you to a new person we’ve not quoted before. I don’t know her name, but her blog is titled ‘Blessed Homemaking’ She’s also believing that life is very strictly gendered, and if you do anything considered part of a traditional man’s purview you are sinning.
Women also take on masculine roles when they try to take over leadership in the home instead of trustingly looking to their husbands for guidance and a strong arm to lean on. The leadership position was given to husbands by God Himself. This doesn’t mean that we have no opinions or wisdom, especially in our own sphere of the home, but often women neglect looking to their own husbands for guidance. Even taking over the masculine chores around the house takes over something a husband can and should be doing, unless there is a real emergency where he is unable.
Some women think they are “helping” their husbands by doing these things. But really, they are hindering their husbands, because the wives are taking on the husbands’ role instead of focusing on their own duties. When we take on masculine roles instead of letting our husbands do them, it harms the family.
To me this is really a laugh riot. Recently I painted all the bedrooms in our house and painted our entire guesthouse. Under the rules of this lady that is a sin, and I’m somehow taking away from my husband and harming. I doubt he would see it that way because he dislikes painting. Recently when doing touch up of the paint on the outside of the house he fell off a step ladder and broke his shoulder in two places. No more painting for him.
It has nothing to do with gender roles, or assumptions of masculinity or femininity.
But see here’s the thing. My husband isn’t good at painting. He does not like it. He cannot do cut ins by hand without taping. I can. My father taught me years ago the right way to swing a paint brush and do flawless cut ins. He taught me how to swing a hammer, use a skillsaw and a chainsaw. Dad made sure I knew how to do simple plumbing repairs, like replace the wax gasket under the toilet and replace the innards of the toilet.
None of that is sin. It’s simply a case of doing those things I am better at than my husband that he does not enjoy doing. No disrespect, he’d be the first to tell you I am a superior painter with a steady hand, and he hates breathing the paint fumes.
Here’s the big problem with these super strict gender roles, they seriously limit the potential of the spouses, and they harm the partnership. Many business partnerships operate on the assumption that each partner has different strengths and talents. Businesses, and families, thrive when partners are released to do those things that are their specialty. It means freedom for all involved.
When people do those things they are good at and like everyone is happier. More things get done quickly. No grumbling or resentments to fester and spill over at odd times.
I hate to tell that blogger but I don’t hold my paintbrush gripped tightly in my vagina. Just like my husband does not wash dishes with his genitalia.
These gender ideas are merely a social construct. Even the Bible does not say men must do this, and women only this, no matter how this woman tries to spin it. The trash needs to go out and it does not matter in the long run if you or your significant other gather it up and drags the can out to the road for collection.
You work together, things get done. That’s what mature adults do. Anything else is just learned helplessness.
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Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.