Today while reading through various Quiverfull blogs and information I decided to read through some of Shalom Pearl Brandβs articles in the newest No Greater Joy magazine. Shalom has a few, trying to fill out the content of the magazine that would have been just her mother Debiβs writings. Michael Pearl, family patriarch and main writer in the magazine is completely missing in action now. What Shalom shares seem to be helicopter parenting Quiverfull style.
Itβs horrifying and all over the place. Shalom starts off talking relentlessly about how βsneakyβ children are. Shalom does not seem to realize that kids are only sneaky when the parents are overately strict.Β Shalom recounts tales of her siblings sneakiness, and bemoans it, saying it created in her a desire to live openly and honestly with no sneaking around.
Good for her! But then she goes to apply that in stupid ways and starts promoting that brain plasicity book written by her mother.
Shalom points out the obvious and tells a tale from her divorced brother Gabe. Her point is that you cannot forbid chocolate yourself as a parent and then sneak around eating chocolate. Fair enough. But why would you completely ban chocolate in the first place? It does have some important health benefits. Teaching children to eat all things in moderation is a part of parenting too. Forbidding something only sets up the kid to want it so badly and develop a possible unhealthy relationship with that food or item.
She seems to think that the possibility of the child sneaking or stealing a bit of candy is what happens. That sneaking that Hersheyβs Kiss or Jolly Rancher is a million times worse than many sins. Never realizing if she didnβt forbid it so much that would be less likely to happen.
And then we awkwardly end up here:
Many parents simply do not believe that their wonderfully obedient and wholesome childβwith whom they have a completely βopen relationshipββwould look at porn. Parents have no idea what modern porn portrays. Even on small-childrenβs sites or searches, one click can lead to graphic group homosexuality. My momβs new book, Create a Better Brain through Neuroplasticity: A Manual for Mamas, shows how scientists, through the use of scans, have proven that porn literally shrinks the brain and kills the conscience. For a young developing brain this can be devastating mentally, emotionally, and socially as well as spiritually.
OneΒ minute itβs chocolate and now weβre at porn and Mamaβs dumb book? Holy Batman thatβs one awkward segue!
One study, one study only, has shown that regular porn users had very slight shrinkage and lower activation of the reward processing and activation area, very small area of the brain. So Debiβs claims of bran warping as tenuous as best. Itβs more considered a function of a principal of basic learning. Interestingly enough porn does not light up the same parts of the brain that addiction does.
Disputing the fact that even toddlers key searches bring up gay orgies. Thatβs just plain old fear mongering. But then again, these are people that want to believe that others staple porn to trees in the forest too, and think βLaw & Order: SVUβ is porn.
Shalom suddenly realizes via her parents that allowing small amounts of sweets sneak-proves your kids against sweets. Not exactly, but it is a step forward in her reasoning processes. Normalizing eating sweets is the first step towards robbing them of their seductive power.
She follows the porn and chocolate with claims that you must keep your kids busy because that old chestnut about idle hands and the devil (porn and chocolate). Then the ultimate in helicopter parenting Iβve seen in Quiverfull:
Children that are left to themselves have a higher risk of being sneaky. I trust my children and know I have a good relationship with them, but I also have a mirror phone connection so that their phones are mirrored on mine and they know I see everything they write or see. I hold them accountable and they can see my phone so they can hold me accountable. I canβt eat chocolate without them knowing and sharing.
So how does the phone play into them knowing sheβs eating chocolate? Iβm confused here.
What I do know is that having your childrenβs phones mirrored into yours is pretty creepy. Particularly as they reach their upper teenage years and will only benefit from being trusted to adult without mommy holding their hands. The fact that sheβs mirrored into their phones is so breathtakingly awful. Thereβs way too much enmeshment going on there to be emotionally healthy for anyone.
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