Helicopter Parenting Quiverfull Style?

Helicopter Parenting Quiverfull Style? July 10, 2019
This is not the devil. Raw chocolate seeds still in the pod and quite delicious! It is just another food source, but obviously another sin trigger for Shalom Pearl Brand

Today while reading through various Quiverfull blogs and information I decided to read through some of Shalom Pearl Brand’s articles in the newest No Greater Joy magazine. Shalom has a few, trying to fill out the content of the magazine that would have been just her mother Debi’s writings. Michael Pearl, family patriarch and main writer in the magazine is completely missing in action now. What Shalom shares seem to be helicopter parenting Quiverfull style.

It’s horrifying and all over the place. Shalom starts off talking relentlessly about how ‘sneaky’ children are. Shalom does not seem to realize that kids are only sneaky when the parents are overately strict.  Shalom recounts tales of her siblings sneakiness, and bemoans it, saying it created in her a desire to live openly and honestly with no sneaking around.

Good for her! But then she goes to apply that in stupid ways and starts promoting that brain plasicity book written by her mother.

Shalom points out the obvious and tells a tale from her divorced brother Gabe. Her point is that you cannot forbid chocolate yourself as a parent and then sneak around eating chocolate. Fair enough. But why would you completely ban chocolate in the first place? It does have some important health benefits. Teaching children to eat all things in moderation is a part of parenting too. Forbidding something only sets up the kid to want it so badly and develop a possible unhealthy relationship with that food or item.

She seems to think that the possibility of the child sneaking or stealing a bit of candy is what happens. That sneaking that Hershey’s Kiss or Jolly Rancher is a million times worse than many sins. Never realizing if she didn’t forbid it so much that would be less likely to happen.

And then we awkwardly end up here:

Many parents simply do not believe that their wonderfully obedient and wholesome child—with whom they have a completely “open relationship”—would look at porn. Parents have no idea what modern porn portrays. Even on small-children’s sites or searches, one click can lead to graphic group homosexuality. My mom’s new book, Create a Better Brain through Neuroplasticity: A Manual for Mamas, shows how scientists, through the use of scans, have proven that porn literally shrinks the brain and kills the conscience. For a young developing brain this can be devastating mentally, emotionally, and socially as well as spiritually.

One  minute it’s chocolate and now we’re at porn and Mama’s dumb book? Holy Batman that’s one awkward segue!

One study, one study only, has shown that regular porn users had very slight shrinkage and lower activation of the reward processing and activation area, very small area of the brain. So Debi’s claims of bran warping as tenuous as best. It’s more considered a function of a principal of basic learning. Interestingly enough porn does not light up the same parts of the brain that addiction does.

Disputing the fact that even toddlers key searches bring up gay orgies. That’s just plain old fear mongering. But then again, these are people that want to believe that others staple porn to trees in the forest too, and think “Law & Order: SVU” is porn.

Shalom suddenly realizes via her parents that allowing small amounts of sweets sneak-proves your kids against sweets. Not exactly, but it is a step forward in her reasoning processes. Normalizing eating sweets is the first step towards robbing them of their seductive power.

She follows the porn and chocolate with claims that you must keep your kids busy because that old chestnut about idle hands and the devil (porn and chocolate). Then the ultimate in helicopter parenting I’ve seen in Quiverfull:

Children that are left to themselves have a higher risk of being sneaky. I trust my children and know I have a good relationship with them, but I also have a mirror phone connection so that their phones are mirrored on mine and they know I see everything they write or see. I hold them accountable and they can see my phone so they can hold me accountable. I can’t eat chocolate without them knowing and sharing.

So how does the phone play into them knowing she’s eating chocolate? I’m confused here.

What I do know is that having your children’s phones mirrored into yours is pretty creepy. Particularly as they reach their upper teenage years and will only benefit from being trusted to adult without mommy holding their hands. The fact that she’s mirrored into their phones is so breathtakingly awful. There’s way too much enmeshment going on there to be emotionally healthy for anyone.


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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington You can read more about the author here.D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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