This morning I was cruising around, working on a piece on how QF cultural enforcers share most of the same theological points with Hitler, Kim Jong Un and Charlie Manson when I happened upon this. Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy magazine telling ladies with rebellious teens that they themselves are causing the rebellion.
That’s another thing that Debi has in common with dictators, the ability to dictate something ridiculous, insist it’s true, and squash all discussion. Kind of like when our president called himself a very stable genius.
The man can’t complain that his wife doesn’t obey him, because she does. He can’t say she speaks evil toward him, because she doesn’t. He can’t fault her in any way. But he is often angry; he feels he is not respected and honored; he feels the fool. And somehow for all her years of faithful prayer, he never becomes a mighty man of God. In front of the children, she patronizes him. She doesn’t know it, and he can’t explain it, but the kids grow up feeling it all the same. It reaps anger, frustration, belligerence, irritation in the dad, dislike among siblings, and, in young adults, disrespect for their mother. The Scripture tells us “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
Oh Debi! So now it’s not enough that we’re submitting, smiling, not rebelling, not talking smack about our menz. It’s all about if we are patronizing towards him? Someone call the thought crimes police asap!
The children are subtly being persuaded that the head of the house is not really the spiritual leader and therefore not to be highly regarded—in fact he is a detriment to the growth of the family. No wonder when they become teens they treat their dad like the burden she has contrived him to be. Of course, when the children are young, Mom seems like a strong, spiritual woman, but as they mature they look at her with the same critical eyes of judgment she has used on Dad. Every look of irreverence toward Dad is now multiplied and sent back in her direction (Matt. 7:1–5). She has trained her children well in the folly of disrespect and irreverence. They might obey because she has obeyed, but what is obedience without honor?
But here’s the thing that Debi never considers. This is a cult managed, run, promoted by women under the guise of it being male-centric. Many of the couples that end up in QF are people that cannot function in main stream society. The women tend to be controlling behind a facade of spirituality, and the men seem to be mostly frustrated weak men who need to be controlled while thinking they are the king. I’ve seen it time and time again in the movement.How many times, even in the world of the enforcers, have we seen the man proclaiming manly man things, yet the wife is scuttling behind making everything happen. Remember the Pearls honeymon? Mike stomping around crabbing, yet passing out to sleep and waking up just to eat and crab while Debi did it all?
This isn’t good for anyone, not the man because it handicaps him to full potential by treating him like a randy child. Not women because it created overwork, emotional fatigue and a host of other things leading to eventual disease and chronic illness. The children pick up a host of mixed messages about the roles of women and men, spirituality, sexuality and every other thing you can imagine. THAT is how they end up rebellious.
Some rebellion is normal while your children figure out their way and detach from the safety of mom and dad.
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