Quiverfull Motherhood: Misery Loves Company?

Quiverfull Motherhood: Misery Loves Company? August 17, 2019

This morning I took a look at Lori Alexander’s newest fan/cultural enforcer want to be Kathryn of Joy for the Journey again. Kathryn is back on the subject of feminism, and she breaks it down to the simplest of claims. She claims that feminists actively deride and treat like dirt anyone who is a stay at home mom. This is exactly the kind of black and white thinking in the church that does so much harm to so many. Is it because Quiverfull motherhood is all misery that loves company? Why the lies? Why the lies without any factual evidence to try and at least pretend they are true?

It used to be that feminists claimed they supported a woman’s right to stay home OR go out and get a job. Now the state is seeking more and more control over the indoctrination of children. And feminists are starting to show their true colors. They hate SAHMs. They want every woman in the workforce and every child in public school. But how was Satan the original feminist?

Links or none of it happened. Most women no longer in Quiverfull are labeled ‘feminist’ no matter what they are, are too busy living their own lives to actually care what someone else is choosing to do with their own. In fact, polling shows that many women reject the title ‘Feminist’ while still embracing equality between the sexes.

Feminism and feminists have had to deal with a great deal of lies promulgated against them by people like Pat Robertson and others. Feminists don’t hate men, or hate women who work at home. It’s a lie that Quiverfull pushes with only anecdotal evidence.

But here is what anyone with eyes can observe about Quiverfull motherhood. It’s mostly misery. Unrelieved misery with no healthy way to deal with or express that.

Most cultural enforcers, like Nancy Campbell and Lori Alexander, never had to live one day like they are calling others to live. Limited family size, birth control used, household help, living a life completely different than what they call others to do.

But many struggle unnecessarily from following that advice. Below are a few screen caps from struggling Quiverfull mothers on just one Facebook group this week. I would say that if these three ladies expressed the reality of Quiverfull there are likely dozens more feeling the same way, yet in denial about it because they’ve been taught by Nancy Campbell and others to deny all  negative feelings.

These stories! Not quite the moonlight and roses that Nancy and others preach. Here’s the thing, how about we stop letting people like Kathryn and Nancy Campbell dictate what motherhood looks like, and do it in a way that works for us, the individual us who is going to be different for everyone, and stop trying to drive wedges in about what is and isn’t acceptable. Take off the labels like Quiverfull or Feminism.

Motherhood matters, but it shouldn’t eat you alive or destroy who you are!

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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