I’m working on a book, so what time I am on the computer between now and the end of the year will be concentrated on a big push towards finishing my book. It’s a true crime book about a murder that occurred and is possibly linked to the sex trafficking of teenage girls through the IFB (Independent Fundamentalist Baptist) troubled teen homes. A dark subject that is taking a toll on my psyche.

This decision comes after a pretty intense week or two at No Longer Quivering. As many of you know during my years in my old Evangelical church I was involved with Bill Johnson, Bethel Church and the Healing Rooms ministry. Having to explain and reexplain to a scoffing world that the death of Olive Heiligenthal was not a scam for money, not a scam to promote their resurrection ministry, not a plot or a conspiracy or anything else but a tragic death, mourning parents and some very toxic unBiblical theology was incredibly hard. Been told repeated that the church didn’t exist, or that the death was faked wore on me as the week went on. I was forced to remember and parse out the details of my agonizing time at my former church, with disturbing echos of that time.

It was a good example of what’s happening in our country right now, the divisions and the lack of kindness. People are all too eager to always believe the very worst thing, and come up with some incredibly cruel words.

I will be seeking in this season the way forward for NLQ. While I still intend to point out toxic theology that has nothing to do with Jesus, and the way forward out of that flawed theology towards a healthier spirituality I want to think about how to do that without adding to the awful cultural zeitgeist of this time.

A world where people routinely say ugly things to and about a set of parents grieving the loss of their small child is not some place I really want to be.

The regular commenters at NLQ are some of the best folks I know, and they’ve been wonderful this week. I love you guys! It’s the world that’s been rough.

I don’t really know in this moment what the way forward looks like, but I do know that 2020 is going to be a year of more kindness in my life. It has to be.

Please, please, for the love of the universe, dear Homeland Security please do not arrest any Duggars while I’m out of the loop..Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Festivus for the Rest of Us, whatever you celebrate may it be a joyous time of family, friends, peace and love.

Love you all,

Suzanne