Todd Unctuous on Chick-Fil-A

Guest blogger Todd Unctuous is top commentator for MSM. With a degree in Media Studies from Scranton Community College, Todd writes for many papers and websites, and is known for his incisive writing, objective reporting and razor sharp comment.

Have you noticed that the people who cling to their Bibles and their guns are also clinging to their Chick-Fil-A sandwiches? Tomorrow we are told by Mike Huckabee–a devout Catholic with seven children and Governor Rick Santorum–who is a right wing Evangelical Christian–that everyone should go to Chick-Fil-A restaurants to support their founder Mr ‘Chatty’ Cathy in his hate campaign against homosexual people.

If you are feeling in the mood tomorrow for some chicken junk food and waffle fries don’t bother going to Chick-Fil-A tomorrow because the parking lot will be filled up with pick up trucks with gun racks, big guys wearing ball caps and flannel shirts and their hefty wives with long hair, bucked teeth and denim skirts. The fundamentalist red necks will be out in force to show their support for Sarah Palin, gospel music and hunting. Their trailer trash children will be crowding the place slurping sodas, gobbling junk food and sucking on ice cream goodies and all in the name of their oppressive and hate-filled religion. You might go if you like banjo music. Otherwise stay at home.

What I can’t stand about these people is that they are always making generalizations about others in society. They are intolerant of others. They constantly mock the dress, speech and lifestyle choices of other people. And that shouldn’t be allowed. Why should Chick-Fil-A use their capitalist strong arm tactics to attempt to pressure the American populace politically? This blatant attempt to co-erce voters and use financial muscle to influence a hot button issue must be resisted. Why should one food chain bully everyone else? The resistance should be led by Starbucks, who have taken an open minded and positive position towards homosexual persons in their support for gay marriage.

I do not, myself, have a particular opinion about the question of gay marriage per se. Two of my good friends named Ben and Jerry are homosexual and I can’t see why they should be picked out and bullied just because they have made different lifestyle choices than other people. Why should they be bullied just because they are interior decorators? Predictably, it is the Catholics who have led the most recent assault against homosexual people. Reverend Mike Huckabee and Rick Warren are two prominent Catholic leaders who have stood up against gay marriage saying, “We are all Catholics now.” History shows that the Catholics were in favor of slavery, the subjugation of women and they killed millions in the Spanish Inquisition. The Catholics were behind the genocide in Rwanda and the Pope (who wears Pravda red slippers) is personally responsible for the AIDS epidemic. It has also been revealed that Adolph Hitler was Catholic. And so was Andy Warhol. Why should we expect them to be kind and loving to homosexual people?

I am not myself a religious person, but I do respect those who have a strong faith like the singer Madonna, who has not only chosen a religious stage name, but is very devoted to the ancient  Jewish lore called Quanabalism. Also Tom Cruise and John Travolta who is a very devoted religious believer. Although I am not religious person, I remember the pictures of probably one of our finest presidents, Bill Clinton, standing on the White House steps with a Bible under his arm talking to a preacher. This was after he was hounded by a vast right wing conspiracy because of his involvement with a White House intern who had clearly entrapped him.  Bill Clinton showed the nation what it meant to honestly admit a mistake and he sought help and spiritual guidance in his time of need.

The founder of Chick-Fil-A should follow Bill Clinton’s example and learn to say ‘Sorry’ to all the homosexual people he has offended. He should realize that there is simply no need for him to be involved. This is a personal matter between consenting adults. Other restaurant chain owners have not exerted financial pressure on voters. Colonel Sanders who is also a chicken restaurant celebrity from the deep South has not gone public against homosexuals. He has been silent. Mr Cathy should also learn to be silent and not be so ‘chatty’. He should know that this is a matter of public importance and that personal opinions are not relevant.

It is time for religion to get out of our hospitals, our government, our schools and our fast food restaurants. We are for separation of Church and State. By all means let us exercise freedom of worship. How you choose to spend your time on Sunday mornings is your business, the rest of the week and the rest of the country doesn’t belong to you, Mr Cathy the Catholic.

Stop trying to force your religion on the rest of us!

Todd Unctuous is forty-two.

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