Some People Are Outgoing, Right?

Sometimes I am frustrated with my own timidity.

There are things I want to do but then shyness suddenly overtakes me. And I berate myself later, but in that moment my confidence fails me. Last week it was the Yatra where I should have asked for blessings for Brad and myself and I chickened out.

This week I went early to Sathya Sai Baba bhajan group for the practice session. Some of the ladies there have been asking me if I’m going to try leading a song and once they put the idea in my mind, I wanted to do it. So I brought my book and showed up, then felt too embarrassed to do anything.

The thing is, though, when I find a weakness like this in myself I work to correct it.

If we’re in this life, as I believe, to work through the karmic consequences of previous acts and progress forward as a soul, then times like this give me a clear opportunity.

It’s not always clear where our souls need work, so moments like this show me a place that I can work on.

I know that I’ll keep going back to singing practice and keep trying until I’ve mastered it and lead one of the bhajans. I do possess a certain kind of tenacity. And it’s that tenacity that got me over my fear of grocery stores, most of my fear of new places, and several other strange fears that I’ve worked through in this life.