I think I am a great example of how important it is to be patient and cautious when waiting for a guru. I’ve always advised you to exercise great care before dedicating yourself to a spiritual leader. You have the Truth within you and you shouldn’t give your power over to someone who doesn’t deserve it. And the vast majority of spiritual leaders don’t deserve it. There’s a lot of frauds out there and there’s a lot of misguided people who become leaders because of not pure motives and still have a lot of inner work to do.
But genuine gurus are out there. Real holy men do exist.
I will never follow someone so blindly that I do things that don’t feel right in my inner conscience. But I don’t believe that my guru has any interest in asking me to do anything outrageous. Being in the presence of Sri Bharati Tirtha is amazing for me but it doesn’t make me lose sight of my values and my faith and trust in myself.
To me the great thing about my guru is that he helped me even when I didn’t believe in him. I came to Sringeri for the first time very cynical and hurting. I had put my faith in spiritual leaders before and had my heart broken. I had become very skittish and untrusting because of those experiences. I wasn’t that interested in seeing the guru. I was in India to experience India.
Nonetheless my mother asked for a blessing on my behalf. She asked that I find the right partner for me. I had suffered so much with wanting to love and be loved. I had tried so many relationships and I was losing hope that there was anyone descent out there for me. After ten years of trying on my own to find someone, within six months of that blessing I met the most perfect and wonderful man I have ever known. Our relationship is perfect every day and we adore each other.
This past January I went to Sringeri again and this time I asked for the blessing. I asked to have children because my husband and I have struggled for over two years unable to get pregnant. Whenever I got anxious about it after that I’d remember His Holiness holding up his hand and saying in English, “I bless you.” Despite moments of doubt, eight months later I fell pregnant.
My friend who did the energy work on me a few weeks ago said that she felt the presence of the guru very strongly with me. I am deeply moved by her seeing that. I feel so blessed that he extends his presence to me.
As I said, I will never be one for blind faith. But I am glad that I was able to heal from my spiritual disappointments and find a guru I can believe in.