Check Yourself as a Mate: Being a Wife Instead of a Boss

Dear Shaunti, My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market. And I’ve been very supportive of him dipping into our personal finances to personally pay our staff when things have been tight. He knows I’m supportive, and that I really believe in him and trust his ability to grow a great business. But… Read more

Why won’t my wife trust me?

Dear Shaunti, You say that women have worries that pop up in their minds, almost like open windows on a computer. I see that in my wife every day – but to me, it looks like she just doesn’t trust me at all. And it’s become a huge issue in our marriage. For example, I’m in construction today, but years ago I served a tour in Iraq as a medic… but, still, whenever our daughters are sick my wife worries… Read more

Re-Walking Down the Aisle: Overcoming Second-Marriage Skepticism

Dear Shaunti, I’ve been dating a wonderful man for two years and he wants to get married, but I’ve been a single mom for almost eight years – and I just can’t get past the fact that 60 percent (or more) of second marriages don’t make it. Should I even get married again, and if I do, how can I protect myself and my kids and yet give this new marriage the best chance? –   Seriously Nervous Nellie Dear Seriously… Read more

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then comes…Love: Choosing Sustained Marital Happiness

Dear Shaunti: My wife and I have been married for five years, and I’ve had back surgery more pleasant than my marriage is right now. We know most marriages aren’t great, but thought we would be the exception to the rule. But since we’re not, I think it would be best to cut our losses before we have kids, part ways and go on with our lives. I should have listened to my brother and gotten a dog and a… Read more

Connection Resurrection: Bringing Back The Spark

Dear Shaunti: I’ve been married for 15 years, and my wife is a great mom, a great wife, and my best friend. I feel like things are going great. My wife, on the other hand, has started telling me that we’ve “settled” for a mediocre marriage. I tell her I love her every day, but sometimes she will still say things like, “Do you really love me?” I finally asked her why she would even wonder that, and she said… Read more

How Do I Respect My Husband When He Makes So Many Mistakes?

Dear Shaunti, I really struggle with the whole ‘respect your husband’ thing you talk about in your book For Women Only. How do I do that? My husband has a huge amount of pride and is unable to accept any criticism or failure on his part; he always throws mistakes back on me. I can’t help but see him as irresponsible and prideful at times. I know that I have delivered some harsh criticism to him over the 14 years… Read more

Prep Time In the Bathroom Could Pay Off In the Bedroom

Dear Shaunti: I used to really look forward to our Friday night date nights, but they’ve become a source of tension. For meetings at work, my wife is spot on time. But for our dates, she takes SO LONG getting ready you’d think she’s about to compete on “Dancing with the Stars.” I’m a pretty patient guy, but I’m tired of missing our dinner reservations – or rushing, and stressing, and making them by mere seconds. Last night, I tried… Read more

And the Oscar Goes To…My Teen Drama Queen

Dear Shaunti, I love my teenage daughter but how do I get her to stop being such a drama queen? Everything is a big tear-fest. She begged to play volleyball – but now when she doesn’t want to go to practices, she cries about the fact that none of the girls like her. And yesterday, she came home from a sleepover so upset because they played Manhunt and her friends forgot she was still outside hiding and went in to… Read more

Give Him Reason to Gawk at You So He Doesn’t Gawk at Google

Dear Shaunti: I read your book, For Women Only, and one thing you said scared me. You explained how men can’t not notice a woman with a good figure, but that many men try to look away so they don’t start lusting after every hot chick they see. Since I read that, whenever we’re walking around in public, I’ve been much more aware of what is “out there.” And now I realize there are provocative images everywhere. I can actually… Read more

Be Grateful For His Creativity Rather Than Grumpy About His Clutter

Dear Shaunti, My husband seems to miss the point of giving me “down time.”  When I get out of the house for a few hours, and he is with our five-year-old twins, I always come home to a mess!  It is not like the house is trashed, but he and the kids are having such a great time together they completely ignore that I’M going to have to be the one to clean the dishes piled in the sink, and… Read more

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