Sticks and Stones: Your Words Can Build (or Demolish) Your Husband’s Security

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have been married only three months – and I’ll be lucky to see four since apparently I hurt him really badly last weekend without meaning to. See, we were at a wedding and even though he’s not a dancer he knew I used to love to go dancing before I met him. So he gave it a shot and went out on the dance floor. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen and… Read more

She Values Your Time More than Your Cash

Dear Shaunti, For years now, my wife has been talking about how great it would be to rent a condo and spend a full week in a cottage at the beach. So for her birthday I surprised her with reservations for fall break. She was so excited – until she learned that I agreed to take an extra shift at work this summer to pay for it. She keeps complaining that I will miss family time while the kids are out of school. I’m busting my tail for something she wants… and she’s complaining. I have to tell my boss next week what my schedule will be, and I don’t know what to do. Read more

My husband is in over his head – how do I fix him?

Dear Shaunti, I recently read For Women Only and I now realize how important it is for my husband to know I respect him – which I do. But I come from a long line of “strong women” (as my dad puts it) and none of us is afraid to voice an opinion. Including telling our husbands how to do things, like what to do with the kids while we’re out for a few hours, or the most efficient route… Read more

Prince Charming Wasn’t a Quarterback: Giving Your Son Confidence (Even though He’s Not Mr. Popular)

Dear Shaunti, My 17 year-old son has a great sense of humor, and is fun to be around, but he doesn’t have a lot of confidence with girls because he’s self-conscious about his looks. (Of course, I think he’s adorable but he says that doesn’t count.) He says the girls at school only want to talk to the football players, so he doesn’t approach them. I can tell it bothers him, but he just laughs it off. He is such… Read more

Let Your Husband Unwind Before You Unload

Dear Shaunti, I am SO DONE with my husband’s grumpiness when he gets home from work. He is a radiologist and has told me that it is really hard to be interrupted with family and kid stuff at work, so I try really hard not to. But when I try to talk to him when he gets home, he gets ticked! I wait all day to discuss this stuff and then he walks in the door and blows me off!… Read more

At a Loss When Your Husband Gets Lost: It’s Not Just About the Directions

Dear Shaunti, It makes me insane when my husband doesn’t ask for directions. Last weekend we were meeting friends at a new restaurant and I got the cold sweats while I watched the minutes tick by as my husband tried to guess his way there. And what’s crazy is that we have a GPS in the car! I started it up but he got irritated and told me stop hassling him. And then I got irritated and told him he was being unreasonable… and he shut down the rest of the night. How can I make him understand that asking for directions is no big deal? Read more

Your Teen Is Watching Even If She Doesn’t Seem to Be Listening

Dear Shaunti, My daughter is 15 years old and I am worried that she is starting to push away not just from her dad and me but also from some of the beliefs we hold dear. What should we do? – Concerned about wandering Dear Concerned about wandering, This is definitely a sensitive subject and it touches on that very strong need in teens for freedom while at the same time creating a sense of fear in parents. We want… Read more

How Do I Get My Teen to Comply Without Complaining?

Dear Shaunti, I am constantly butting heads with my 14 year-old daughter. Yesterday, she asked if she could go to a concert with a group of kids that I don’t know. With her friend’s 16 year-old brother as the driver! I said “no” to that idea before she even finished talking! She’s been pouting ever since. She complains that I have too many “arbitrary” rules and don’t explain myself. I tell her the fact that I’m her dad is the… Read more

Don’t Give the Death Sentence for a Misdemeanor Crime

Dear Shaunti, My 16-year-old son came home an hour past curfew over the weekend – walked in like it was no big deal! “Hey, sorry my battery was dead so I couldn’t text you.” And then when he saw how upset we were he was like, “It was only an hour!” We said, “Yeah, well, that was an hour we spent wondering if you were in a ditch somewhere!” We took away his car privileges for two weeks and he… Read more

Don’t Force Your Sex Life into Hibernation Mode By Choosing Sleep Over Sex

Dear Shaunti, We have young kids, and often I’m so exhausted that I just want to go to sleep without my husband trying to start something. Most of the time I have absolutely no interest in sex late at night, after running afternoon carpool, juggling karate and ballet lessons, making dinner, helping with homework (my husband helps too), and returning work emails. But my husband gets upset when I tell him to please leave me alone. Seriously? It’s nothing personal!… Read more

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