On Second Thought: Episode 3

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

In case you missed them, here are my first two “On Second Thoughts!”

Episode One

Episode Two

On Second Thought: Episode 3

“I’ve failed as a mother,” I said to Willow in front of Tripp.  Why did I say that?  Because as much as I try, I’m only one person trying to create a family without a father.  I’ve brought a son into the world who won’t know his dad.

This is why we really should trust God to know what’s best for our lives.  In high school, I knew I shouldn’t have been with Levi.  Had I followed God’s laws about having sex within the context of marriage-only, I would’ve prevented a great deal of heartache and pain.

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth saying again: Tripp was not the mistake.  Tripp is a gift from God.  But there’s no denying it: I’ve put him in a less than ideal family situation.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have said I’ve failed as a mom.  After all, I’m going to be a mom for the rest of my life, and every day is new!  Though I didn’t start this process out in the right way, God is forgiving and wonderful to me.  He helps me through each day!

When I found out Levi was writing a book, I was sure it’d be classified as fiction.  However, when his book came out, it was as bad as I’d feared.  Friends texted me gross snippets.  I read details in the newspapers.  It’s crazy to get used to the idea that there is someone out there who is determined on misrepresenting my life and our relationship.  But, after our debut on the national scene in 2008, I guess I’ve gotten a little more used to it.

I won’t lie.  When we were to the range to shoot trap, I was excited about the possibility of using his “memoir” as a target.  My only fear is that I’d miss it! Shooting at the little clay disks was fun, but I considered that mere practice for when I could get his book out.  (Did you see what a great shot my friend Marissa is? Do not mess with her!)

We had an awesome instructor, who helped us a great deal…  As you can see, we tore that book up.  My frustration over his “tell all” was blown away with every round.

Oh yeah.  And there was that scene with the paparazzi.  In Alaska, people are used to seeing us, because everyone knows everyone in Wasilla.  Yes, there are some reporters who will make the trek from other places in order to dig up dirt, but the most we get is usually some waves from people at restaurants or on the road.  When I lived in Arizona, people saw the Alaska plates on my truck and would speed up to see if it was possibly a Palin vehicle.  Most people are friendly and considerate of our family, and simply want to say hello.

But you can’t find a more celebrity-focused area than Los Angeles.  Reporters are everywhere trying to get photos of stars, who apparently are everywhere.  Since I definitely don’t consider myself a celebrity, it’s always funny to see them trying to snap a photo of me, Tripp, and Willow.

When we were eating outside, I saw them gathering on the other side of the road.  On second thought, should I have asked him to stick his tongue out at the media?

Definitely! I’ve got to raise the boy with some values, after all!
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  • http://EileenS Eileen Steller

    Now, let’s be real here. How many of you can remember conversations you overheard as a 4 year old? I can remember some things way back then but mostly,I remember how much I was loved. I’ll bet the farm that Tripp will only remember the love and support he got unless hate- filled people take it upon themselves to spread their venom.

    • K

      Good point! It’s just commn sense that people can’t be harmed by something they can’t even remember from when they were little. That’s why my Mom always told me to spank my kids only when they were babies so that they would learn right from wrong but would not remember me hitting them. She was right they didn’t remember and they turned out just fine! Just like you, they only remember the LOVE!

      • Jellybean

        I hope this is sarcasm

      • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

        OMG! Did this Mother named “K” just say that outloud? In PRINT? No wonder Bristol’s minions support her, they are all totally whacked in the head. YES! SAY YES TO CHILD ABUSE! But only when they’re under 5 years old!!! They won’t remember!!!! Good Lord…sick people out there.

    • Jellybean

      It’s all been taped, and will be there for him to view in the future. This isn’t 1928, duh.

  • Nathan

    Someone recently posted that Bristol shouldn’t trash talk Levi because Tripp won’t respect him… Hello! Levi isn’t a respectable person! My parents warned me when I was hunger to only hang around people that would help me grow as a good, moral person. In my opinion, Gino would make a better father figure than Levi. So what if he’s not the biological father! And if he wants, Tripp could even call him “dad”, even if he’s the stepdad.

  • Capital G

    LMAO @ the Bristol haters. Jealous much? BTW – Thanks for watching!

    Levi is a punk. People who screen their calls like that and can’t even face the reality of their own lives are pathetic. You drive all that way without so much as a confirmation he would show – and of course he does not. It’s not like Levi has anything else going on. He has nothing but time on his hands and he won’t even give a small amount of it to his own son.

  • leese

    girl we all say things we dont mean or wanna take back but your only human! and we know what you meant when you said you failed as a mom i mean ive said stuff myself and done stuff im not proud of but thats part of our lives we needa move on and get better lol

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