On Second Thought: Episode 3

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

In case you missed them, here are my first two “On Second Thoughts!”

Episode One

Episode Two

On Second Thought: Episode 3

“I’ve failed as a mother,” I said to Willow in front of Tripp.  Why did I say that?  Because as much as I try, I’m only one person trying to create a family without a father.  I’ve brought a son into the world who won’t know his dad.

This is why we really should trust God to know what’s best for our lives.  In high school, I knew I shouldn’t have been with Levi.  Had I followed God’s laws about having sex within the context of marriage-only, I would’ve prevented a great deal of heartache and pain.

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth saying again: Tripp was not the mistake.  Tripp is a gift from God.  But there’s no denying it: I’ve put him in a less than ideal family situation.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have said I’ve failed as a mom.  After all, I’m going to be a mom for the rest of my life, and every day is new!  Though I didn’t start this process out in the right way, God is forgiving and wonderful to me.  He helps me through each day!

When I found out Levi was writing a book, I was sure it’d be classified as fiction.  However, when his book came out, it was as bad as I’d feared.  Friends texted me gross snippets.  I read details in the newspapers.  It’s crazy to get used to the idea that there is someone out there who is determined on misrepresenting my life and our relationship.  But, after our debut on the national scene in 2008, I guess I’ve gotten a little more used to it.

I won’t lie.  When we were to the range to shoot trap, I was excited about the possibility of using his “memoir” as a target.  My only fear is that I’d miss it! Shooting at the little clay disks was fun, but I considered that mere practice for when I could get his book out.  (Did you see what a great shot my friend Marissa is? Do not mess with her!)

We had an awesome instructor, who helped us a great deal…  As you can see, we tore that book up.  My frustration over his “tell all” was blown away with every round.

Oh yeah.  And there was that scene with the paparazzi.  In Alaska, people are used to seeing us, because everyone knows everyone in Wasilla.  Yes, there are some reporters who will make the trek from other places in order to dig up dirt, but the most we get is usually some waves from people at restaurants or on the road.  When I lived in Arizona, people saw the Alaska plates on my truck and would speed up to see if it was possibly a Palin vehicle.  Most people are friendly and considerate of our family, and simply want to say hello.

But you can’t find a more celebrity-focused area than Los Angeles.  Reporters are everywhere trying to get photos of stars, who apparently are everywhere.  Since I definitely don’t consider myself a celebrity, it’s always funny to see them trying to snap a photo of me, Tripp, and Willow.

When we were eating outside, I saw them gathering on the other side of the road.  On second thought, should I have asked him to stick his tongue out at the media?

Definitely! I’ve got to raise the boy with some values, after all!
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  • debbbbie

    Trash Levi on national TV & tell America your are a good Mother. You have harmed Tripp for his life. Why?, I guess you want money because being “famous” is going to die very rapidly with the way you treat Tripp. No one, regardless of their point of view, will watch your show & think better of you. Shame on you.

    Reply

  • http://us4palin.com Ron Devito

    Bristol,
    I’m going to share something very personal here: My father abandoned my mother and I when I was five months old. I never saw him. She chased him for a few years to get child support. He did not want anything to do with either of us. I don’t even know if my biological father is dead or alive. I could spend $40 to find out through one of various websites. I also have better things to spend $40 on. My mother’s r ex-husband from her prior marriage became the father figure in my life. He was always there for me and anything I needed – he was there. I never missed a beat. Never. In a few hours, I will be going to his to celebrate my 43rd birthday. The man who was a father to me is a WWII hero (among many other things he did) and turns 90 in December. I call him my “uncle,” but he has been the real father to me. Billy is his name.

    The bottom line is – I did just fine without my biological father – because Billy was there. And, my mother was still there too. In your latest episode, Gino showed great potential to be that father figure to Tripp. He can be to Tripp what Billy was – and is to me – and in many ways – at least from what I saw on these episodes (there have been four 30-minute episodes thus far – at least that’s how Verizon FIOS considers it), I think that means everything in the end.

    Tripp can have a dad other than Levi. Not biologically of course – but if someone – like Gino – proves to be that father figure, Tripp won’t miss a beat. Ever. And…you are a wonderful mother. Let no one tell you otherwise. Yes, you made mistakes. Who among us hasn’t. What matters is that you learned from them, recovered from them – and you have. Hold your head high and walk with a little more swagger, Bristol. You’ve earned that right.

    • http://essexandorange1773.com Ray

      I agree with Ron. Listen to some of us who have a few years under our belts and have been through similar things. Biology doesn’t matter when you have a heart connection. It will actually be better for Tripp not to have someone who acts like a child and has done some terrible things to his mom around him. Find a good example of a man to show Tripp. Anyone can teach Tripp hockey or to ice skate. But who is going to teach him how to be a man? Levi can’t and won’t. Tripp will only pick up how NOT to be a man from him. Wish Levi well…pray for him, but for God’s sake, keep that bad influence as far away from Tripp as possible.

    • Piscean Gal

      Ron, my daughter and I know this feeling. Her biological father hasn’t seen her since she was 6 months old. MY daughter will be 19 in August. My deceased husband stepped up, for 12 yrs of her life, until his death in late 2005. HE was the only daddy she has known. When she was between 1 and 2 yrs of age, she would call my husband “Daddy” and I would correct her. I too, wanted her “REAL” dad to step up. I would correct her, and say “No, that’s “Keith” and after the first time, my husband said, “Don’t correct her anymore. If she wants to call me Daddy, let her. I will be there for her.” and this was BEFORE we got married! He has never, in life or death, let my daughter down. He continues to “take care” of her. I am now engaged to someone, who, is totally different than my husband in MANY ways, but he too has been there for not only my daughter, but for the son my husband and I had together.

  • K

    An eye for an eye! Good for you for teaching Tripp to stick up for himself! When he starts school his teachers are going to LOVE watching him be a leader to kids whose families were too “PC” to teach them how to respond appropriately when they get disrespected! They will have a sneaky giggle when he’s teaching everyone in his class to stick their tongues out and say, “I hate you!” to their enemies! Because of all the ridiculous new anti-bullying rules that teachers have to enforce, he will probably be scolded at school for this behavior, but you can know that secretly they will be cheering Tripp’s strength and your good sense as a parent!!!

    • Piscean Gal

      K, Tripp wasn’t being harassed. IF Bristol feels HIS privacy was being violated, maybe SHE should have gotten up and gotten out of sight of the lenses snapping pictures of her.

      • K

        What kind of example would that set? She is teaching her son to be “Not Afraid of Life” and to “Stand his Ground”! Our children are the future and the Palins understand that better than anyone!

  • louiseharas

    Some thoughts about Bristol’s hard job of raising Tripp all alone (with the help of a nanny):
    1. Her brother and father could provide male role models for Tripp, but so far, we have not seen them included in his life, at least not on the so-called reality show.
    2.. Including a boy friend, who comes and goes, is not a positive male role model.
    3. Bristol constantly blames Levi , it’s all his fault. In her book, she mentioned forgetting to take her birth control pills, and surprise, she was pregnant. Not taking birth control pills makes Bristol at least 50% responsible for conceiving Tripp. It takes two. If Levi didn’t use protection, neither did Bristol.
    4. Bristol told Greta that it was HER choice to keep Tripp. Once Bristol made that choice, she ceased being a kid and assumed the role of an adult who would have to take care of a child for the next 18 years. Her program shows an immature girl who was not completely ready for that responsibility, leaving Tripp with her sister, riding a bull in a bar, teaching Tripp to stick his tongue out at a photographer, constantly bashing the Tripp’s father in front of him. Yes, I agree, Humpty Dumpty is much too long to read in one sitting. Even if Tripp doesn’t understand all of the words that Bristol uses, he understands that she is angry, and that’s unhealthy for him. The constant Levi bashing is emotional child abuse.
    5. Bristol is not an inspiring role model for other single girls who became pregnant while there were teens. Less than 50% of those girls graduate high school.. Only 2% will finish college. They will not be able to get good jobs because of a lack of education. Real single parents worry about balancing a job, trying to get an education, taking care of their child, while Bristol spends her time bitching with her sister. We will get to see Bristol fly all over the country, sell her investment property, and do a dozen other unrealistic things which real young single parents can’t afford and will never do. She is no inspiration, and she offers no real life solutions to the problems of real single parents.

    • Emma Lora

      Louise, Bristol is doing a wonderful job with the situations she has to deal with. She is going thru doors that have opened to her with courage that most of us lack. She is revealing how hard it is to be a single parent even with the resources she has. She does not claim to have “solutions” to problems. Who claims that? Some of us see the positives and some people want to see negatives. I would encourage her to ignore people who have nothing but negative perspectives when looking at circumstances. Your entire post is completely negative, which is a reflection on you. I do hope you are mostly positive and if this show makes you so negative perhaps you may wish to find another show to watch.

      About the issue of Tripp sticking his tongue out that some are concerned about… lol, that is charming compared to the tongues of adults that spue out self righteousness, snarky comments. negativisms and hatred.

    • Piscean Gal

      RIGHT ON, Louise! I too have Bristol’s book as well as Levi’s. I’ve not finished either, LOL…but truth be known, I actually like Levi more. Bristol has learned the art of manipulation. Notice, how many times did she call Levi on the show in a 30 minute period? She didn’t do it the first time, that I can remember. I also hate the one sided conversations they had allegedly between Willow, Bristol and Sunny, and OMG, how CONDESCENDING can they BE!?

  • Brenda

    I wanted to like your show, I’m a single mother and thought I’d enjoy it. I’m sorry, I will not be watching any more of it. I keep thinking about the most unbelievable thing you said in an interview, these shows are keepsakes for your son. You want your son to watch this when he’s older???? You are not the person I thought you were at all. I doubt you even bother to read your blog and have someone doing that work for you too.

  • Barb

    Bristol – you need to stop bashing Levi. No, he’s not a role model and apparently never will be. But Tripp doesn’t need to hear that constantly. He maybe little, but he’s taking it all in and it will effect him. Hopefully Levi will grow up someday and be a man.

  • Corrie

    I watched the 10 pm episode but changed the channel at the 10:30 episode. Not because I have anything against Bristol, but because it was boring. I don’t think Bristol is trashy enough to succeed in reality tv, and I thought that all along. People who like reality tv want to see drama-fighting, drunken falls down the stairs, arrests, etc. Then there’s people like me who would rather watch Fox News. So Bristol, here’s my honest take: you’re not trashy enough for the reality crowd and not political enough for the news geek crowd.

    I applaud you for the way you handle situations dealing with your son’s father, and Tripp is certainly a beautiful, happy boy. You are clearly an outstanding mom. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: focus on your education. I think you have a lot of potential and I think you should shoot for the moon. Your platform is better communicated through your blog and public speaking appearances than on reality tv.

  • Lisa G

    It’s interesting people condemn Willow and Bristol for their attitude against Sunny and Levi.

    As I just said, Levi has made most of his money from trashy interviews and betrayal. Sunny and Mercede trash Bristol constantly on facebook for superficial reasons. (Hows that boob job Mercede?) They are middle school mean girls. Sunny refuses to see Levi as a former jerkoff who sold himself and lived off hateful interviews. Her “love” for him clouds her judgment.

  • kate

    Well done Miss Bristol. You will do well. Your head is on straight and your boy is going to do great things.

  • BryanA

    Bristol, you cannot be a happy person if you continuosly complain about your perceived grievances. Look around and express appreciation for what you have. An attitude of gratitude will allow more blessings to come into your life.


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