On Second Thought: Episode 3

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

In case you missed them, here are my first two “On Second Thoughts!”

Episode One

Episode Two

On Second Thought: Episode 3

“I’ve failed as a mother,” I said to Willow in front of Tripp.  Why did I say that?  Because as much as I try, I’m only one person trying to create a family without a father.  I’ve brought a son into the world who won’t know his dad.

This is why we really should trust God to know what’s best for our lives.  In high school, I knew I shouldn’t have been with Levi.  Had I followed God’s laws about having sex within the context of marriage-only, I would’ve prevented a great deal of heartache and pain.

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth saying again: Tripp was not the mistake.  Tripp is a gift from God.  But there’s no denying it: I’ve put him in a less than ideal family situation.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have said I’ve failed as a mom.  After all, I’m going to be a mom for the rest of my life, and every day is new!  Though I didn’t start this process out in the right way, God is forgiving and wonderful to me.  He helps me through each day!

When I found out Levi was writing a book, I was sure it’d be classified as fiction.  However, when his book came out, it was as bad as I’d feared.  Friends texted me gross snippets.  I read details in the newspapers.  It’s crazy to get used to the idea that there is someone out there who is determined on misrepresenting my life and our relationship.  But, after our debut on the national scene in 2008, I guess I’ve gotten a little more used to it.

I won’t lie.  When we were to the range to shoot trap, I was excited about the possibility of using his “memoir” as a target.  My only fear is that I’d miss it! Shooting at the little clay disks was fun, but I considered that mere practice for when I could get his book out.  (Did you see what a great shot my friend Marissa is? Do not mess with her!)

We had an awesome instructor, who helped us a great deal…  As you can see, we tore that book up.  My frustration over his “tell all” was blown away with every round.

Oh yeah.  And there was that scene with the paparazzi.  In Alaska, people are used to seeing us, because everyone knows everyone in Wasilla.  Yes, there are some reporters who will make the trek from other places in order to dig up dirt, but the most we get is usually some waves from people at restaurants or on the road.  When I lived in Arizona, people saw the Alaska plates on my truck and would speed up to see if it was possibly a Palin vehicle.  Most people are friendly and considerate of our family, and simply want to say hello.

But you can’t find a more celebrity-focused area than Los Angeles.  Reporters are everywhere trying to get photos of stars, who apparently are everywhere.  Since I definitely don’t consider myself a celebrity, it’s always funny to see them trying to snap a photo of me, Tripp, and Willow.

When we were eating outside, I saw them gathering on the other side of the road.  On second thought, should I have asked him to stick his tongue out at the media?

Definitely! I’ve got to raise the boy with some values, after all!
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  • http://Twitter PoorManzMaher

    Im not going to go into a long diatribe here, but the comment above by “Fred” was the greatest of all, such fantastic sarcasm. How he wrote of Bristol (where is Myers? Are we gonna see Squibb Palin for Tripp’s sibling? Sheesh.) and her hard work for the California South Centralinos and being a normal Alaska girl was awesome. The reason I am even writing here is because after watching the few minutes of this tripe which afforded me the grace of seeing Bristol in her lake home being built, saying “Building this house is a full-time job.” is once again showing what a spoiled whΦre this labia on legs really is. First of all, the contractor & laborers are building the house, not Miss “I might break a Lee press-on nail” & second, I bet anyone who is REALLY working a full time job would love to have the woes of building a home from the ground up with every detail to their desire courtesy of a TV show throwing wheelbarrows of $$$ at them. This airhead is the epitimy of what is wrong with America. Take some advice Bristol, crawl under that rock across the lake from your parents with Tripp and stay hidden. Focus on him because he’s already screwed now, try to minimize any further damage by not forcing anymore of your mediocre mindless self on America. Enjoy your money and leave the world alone, please. Have some shame or modesty, whatever you can muster. Oops, so much for no long diatribe.

  • Lana

    So I’m a huge liberal and I’ll admit it I enjoy this show and it actually reminds me of Teen Mom. (in a good way) You are a good mom Bristol and Tripp is absolutely adorable. I feel so bad for you that the father of your child is such a waste of life. I don’t think its your fault since your mother is a politician and you are still young but I hope one day you are able to understand that everyone gay or straight deserves the same rights and you don’t have to have the same political views as your mom and dad. I’m not trying to preach to you, its just obvious from the show that you are a sensitive person so I would think that one day your views will change.

  • Michele

    Hello Bristol,
    Love & support you & the family. Amazing to watch you with Tripp-so loving & nurturing.
    Btw, wanted you to know &ask-are you on twitter? @teamBristol? If not-you have quite the fraud on there right now. If that’s not you, what is your twitter name? God bless you & the family.

  • GrizzlyMom

    Bristol’s show has dropped from a little over 700,000 to only 426,000. I give it one more week before Lifetime pulls the plug.

  • Joseppi

    Where’s the On Second Thought for episode 4?

  • Darci

    I cannot believe that Lifetime is allowing this show to be on the air. The insulting of a child’s father directly in front of the child is emotional child abuse. It only shows how immaturely Bristol is handling the situation. That immaturity will end up hurting Tripp in the long run. Lifetime thinks this is good entertainment?!

    For the sake of argument, let’s assume that Levi has shown no interest in Tripp. Do you tell your son he’s going to see his dad as part of a reality show knowing that the father has said he doesn’t want to participate in said reality show, and then let the child feel the disappointment of not seeing his father? No, that’s cruel! To publish such horrible parenting on Lifetime is just plain weird.

    No, what you do if you have a deadbeat parent is to keep open the possibility of successfully co-parenting your child with them. Any child psychologist will tell you that’s the best thing for the child. By airing your differences on national TV and bashing Levi over and over to the nation, you’ve made it incredibly hard for the two of you to work together to raise Tripp in a loving, albeit separate, environment.

    Think about doing what’s best for Tripp for a change and quit whining about how tough you have it. Go back to school or something else that will benefit society. All you’re doing right now is showing the nation that bad parenting habits are acceptable.

    • Joseppi

      The sad part for Tripp is she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing.

    • Jimmie lee

      The only thing hurting Tripp is people like you. You lack knowledge,understanding and compassion. If you had a child at young age and weren’t married to his father maybe you could understand Bristol and her decisions.
      You are probably thinking, Well, I would never find myself in that situation. Well, thats great for you, congrats. Your life will be easy, right?
      As far as I’m concerned Bristol is doing what is best. She could pull the plug on that moron as easy as the snap of her fingers. But she doesn’t. She’s giving him chance after chance after chance. My guess is even if the cameras weren’t at Bouncing Bears that day, said moron would still not show up. And frankly, Tripp deserves more than what he’s getting from that moron.
      You must be some kind of masochist to spend you time reading Bristol’s blog just to degrade her and her family.

  • joe

    You don’t seem to give anything second thoughts Bristol.

  • Jellybean

    Your son will sometime in the future see this drivel you call a reality show and will resent you big time. Your constant trashing of Trip’s father by you and your family is disgusting. You wanted Levi to show up and visit with Trip with reality show cameras rolling. That is sick and you should be ashamed of yourself!

    A good mother who has her child’s best interests at heart, would do everything possible to create a positive relationship with his father. And if that is just not a possibility, she would keep her mouth shut about the father, unless you want your son to grow up being resentful and hateful.

    Kid’s are smarter than you think, Bristol, and everytime you take a jab at Levi in front of Trip, you are harming him.

  • Emma Lora

    Good morning Bristol,
    I have read most of the posts and noticed the negative ones that appear to want to intimidate or accuse you of not being considerate of Tripp’s feeling about your handling of Levi, etc. Here is my take…
    Some day when he is older he will see that you were angry, frustrated and dissappointed at Levi’s lack of involvement… and how much effort you put into wanting Levi to be involved. He will see how hurt you were by Levi’s book. He will see the love and support of family and friends for you and Tripp. That will be lasting and positive for him. If Levi has a change of heart, that too will be nice part of the tapestry of Tripp’s experience.
    He will see records and videos that show some people that were ugly towards your family and how you and your family still held your heads high and kept going strong and enduring the snarky side of society. That will be a great example. He will see that people will write ungracious and critical things just to do so and society has those as well but you will continue to be faithful to God, family and friends, and continue to do the best you can.
    He will see that you are not perfect and make mistakes, but want to be responsible and share with others your honesty, vuneralbility, gutsy perserverance to learn outside of the box. All of these are great examples for him.
    Keep going strong Bristol. Even your mistakes will become a positive record. Ugly and starky critical attitudes will always exist and Tripp will have a good example of ignoring them at times and dealing with them at other times. Your book, appearances, shows etc reveal your love for God and family. and strength to deal with challenges and adversities. Keep on keeping on. Those that love you far outweigh the haters.

  • Sierra

    I think you are doing a wonderful job Bristol, and for all those people who say you insulting Tripps father in front of him is child abuse are stupid. Maybe if he would step up and be a father and stop trying to use Tripp and your family as a money making machine. All he see’s are the dollar signs rather than his son and he deserves to get talked down to. You are not harming Tripp in ANY way. You are trying to protect him rather, and I understand this as many parents do. Be above all the negative comments about you as a mother or your family. You know what you’re doing is right and you are doing nothing wrong. People are just so harsh and try to take out their anger from your moms beliefs on you and your show., which is of course absurd. Stay strong girl, you’re the greatest!