On Second Thought: Episode 4

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

Original Airdate: June 26, 2012

Fatherhood.

Just the word causes a little pang in my heart.

When I was skating with Tripp at the hockey rink in Episode 4, I said, “All men are dogs.”  On second thought, I shouldn’t have said that.  It’s not true in life generally and it’s not even true in my life specifically.  I have my dad, who’s one of the best people on the planet.  He can win the Iron Dog, braid Piper’s hair, catch salmon, teach me a life lesson, and make sure our truck engines don’t freeze overnight in the winter months.  Then, there’s Track, my brother who’s tormented his little sisters my entire life… and is still tormenting me as I wait for him to return from Afghanistan!  Of course, I also have my grandfathers who have held together our family with their character and strength.

I guess as I stood there trying to skate with Tripp, I was simply frustrated.  I never thought I’d be the one teaching Tripp to skate.  I always envisioned having a husband helping our son strap on the skates and glide over the ice.

And so, there’s a hole.  In my family.  In Tripp’s life.  In my heart.

Talking to Andy while we were stacking firewood was really poignant.  “I’ve seen my dad twice.  Once at a golf course and once after I turned 18,” he said.  “I’m fine.  I’m the person I am today, because my mom taught me everything.  My dad is just a name on a birth certificate to me.”

Of course, I think Andy’s great and his mom obviously did a great job.  However, I know it’s not God’s perfect plan for boys to be raised without dads… especially when the father lives down the street.  That’s why I said, in a previous episode, that I’d failed as a mom.  That’s why it hurts my heart so much to be in this situation.

As we drove to Anchorage, I was so nervous.  I didn’t want Tripp to be let down if Levi didn’t show.  Of course, if you saw the show you know Levi didn’t manage to make it.  Instead, I got an angry phone call from his girlfriend.

I never thought my life would be this way.  However, I’m thankful for all of the blessings that we have.  I’m thankful for all the wonderful men in my family and in my life.  Especially Tripp, who was really thankful I let him eat that icing right out of the can when we were baking.

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  • Georgia

    Bristol, What is Lifetime thinking? Why did they move your show to 11:00 PM? It takes a while for a show to catch on. Your latest episode @ 11:00 PM was fantastic? It appears that your time back in Alaska with your family and friends, is the best-of-the best. Why didn’t Lifetime understand that a considerable amount of the earlier footage has been seen before, for months? The last episode, with you, Willow, Gino, Tripp and your mother at CPAC and at her birthday celebration, is by far the best footage so far, and I suspect it will only get better.

    The show will be a hit, “if”, and only “if”, Lifetime supports it properly. You are doing a wonderful job on “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp”, by just being Bristol Palin!

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  • MommaWaynie

    Bristol, I just wanted to say that I think you are doing a fabulous job with Tripp. I was a single mother of three before I was 26 and I didn’t have the first one until I was 21. I wasn’t an unwed, teen mother so I don’t know how you feel about all the horrible comments aimed at you but I did marry a man who my mother, and everyone in my family for that matter, told me not to marry and he quickly made me regret not listening to any of them. I have said many things that I wished I had not said including exactly what you did about all men being dogs. Unfortunately, I do not have as many men in my life that aren’t dogs as you do. But you have the opportunity to make sure that your son does not become one of those men that turns into a ‘dog’, just as I am trying to do with my three sons. Also, unfortunately, you can’t take it back but I do appreciate the fact that you try to set things straight. That is all you can do. People who are against your family are going to throw it in your face no matter what you say or do, so just ignore them, which I am sure your mother has told you also. Something my mother always told me, that I find very helpful with my quick temper, is that a person cannot fight with himself. If someone wants to fight, let him but don’t respond, just walk away. Anyways, three years ago I met a wonderful Christian man who is still trying to clen up my ex-husbands messes, but is not giving up and he is even raising the three children that my ex deserted just like Levi did to Tripp. I am with Willow, back up when it comes to Levi’s relationship with Tripp. I tried to do the same things as you with my ex about the kids and all it ever got me and the kids was heartache and bad memories. You are a grown adult who can make her own decisions, but coming from someone who did the single mother route and has finally made it to where I was supposed to be the whole time, I wanted to tell you what I thought. My ex is screwing up enough that eventually he will lose his rights to the kids and when that happens, my husband now is ready with a pen to sign the adoption papers. I had a long, hard road to follow for disobedience against my mother (who did the single mother role also), but I am happy now because I did the right thing by following God’s road after my third baby was born and my ex walked away again. I learned my lesson. Things are still extremely stressful in my life, but that’s because I ended up with four more kids when I met my husband (he was a single dad). Plus, we are both starting college next month and he works FT for an ambulance company. Things are tough but God is with us all the way. We sometimes forget this but He never does. Best of Luck in everything!!! From: a happy mother of seven who was once in your shoes (who also is a fan of your family :o) )

  • Susan Brown

    Have you made those reports to FBI and Homeland Security??? If not I would be glad to send both of them the clips of the show for proof you have been getting so many death threats from the hating Satanic liberals. You must stay safe and keep your children safe so file those reports Ms. Palin, ASAP. or just tell me and I’ll do it for you.

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  • Muriel

    Bristol,
    I understand why you made the comment you made about “men in general” and your anger that Levi hasn’t chosen to live up to his responsibilities regarding the son you created together. In him, it shows his immaturity; in you it shows your humanity. You tried to hold it together with Levi for Tripp’s sake but he wasn’t in it for Tripp, he was in it for his own personal gain and that is despicable. Having your family around you to guide you makes you a very lucky young woman. I think you realize that because you so very often mention them.
    So far as Gino is concerned I think you are afraid of making another mistake; Gino isn’t mature enough to say what you need to hear. Whether or not you actually love him only you know. Personally, I think Gino is sincere, but he says the wrong thing most of the time. I hope you both take time to think before either breaking up for good, or getting back together. He’s not the only one making mistakes though. You have had your heart broken, you are afraid of making another mistake, and you’re over thinking everything. Breathe and take a moment to understand why you acted the way you did with Gino and Willow, yet Willow got a break because you know her heart.

    Tuesdays are my favorite night for TV and I usually record the show because I often fall asleep before the show is over…it’s late for me.

    Take care, Bristol…we all say things we regret. Tripp knows your heart so he’ll understand.

    Love,
    M2

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  • Heather

    Hello,

    I am a fan. I saw all of the episodes on Lifetime and watched you on Dancing With The Stars. I’m glad you are getting another chance on it this season. I know you didn’t ask my opinion, I just thought I would share a tiny piece of advice I have learned being a single mom. I never, ever, tell my daughter that her Dad’s is coming until he knocks on the front door! It just hurts them so much to be let down, so if I dont tell her and he doesnt show, she never even has to know or be hurt.

    I think you are a good example, so thank you for sharing your life.


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