On Second Thought: Episode 4

Trust me, it’s crazy to see your life on television. That’s why every week, I’m going to do a blog posts called “On Second Thought.” These posts are where I will go over the episodes of my Lifetime show as I process the issues presented now that I’ve seen them aired.  I hope you’ll join me for these weekly posts – which will undoubtedly be part-confession, part-explanation, and part-celebration of my life right now!

Original Airdate: June 26, 2012

Fatherhood.

Just the word causes a little pang in my heart.

When I was skating with Tripp at the hockey rink in Episode 4, I said, “All men are dogs.”  On second thought, I shouldn’t have said that.  It’s not true in life generally and it’s not even true in my life specifically.  I have my dad, who’s one of the best people on the planet.  He can win the Iron Dog, braid Piper’s hair, catch salmon, teach me a life lesson, and make sure our truck engines don’t freeze overnight in the winter months.  Then, there’s Track, my brother who’s tormented his little sisters my entire life… and is still tormenting me as I wait for him to return from Afghanistan!  Of course, I also have my grandfathers who have held together our family with their character and strength.

I guess as I stood there trying to skate with Tripp, I was simply frustrated.  I never thought I’d be the one teaching Tripp to skate.  I always envisioned having a husband helping our son strap on the skates and glide over the ice.

And so, there’s a hole.  In my family.  In Tripp’s life.  In my heart.

Talking to Andy while we were stacking firewood was really poignant.  “I’ve seen my dad twice.  Once at a golf course and once after I turned 18,” he said.  “I’m fine.  I’m the person I am today, because my mom taught me everything.  My dad is just a name on a birth certificate to me.”

Of course, I think Andy’s great and his mom obviously did a great job.  However, I know it’s not God’s perfect plan for boys to be raised without dads… especially when the father lives down the street.  That’s why I said, in a previous episode, that I’d failed as a mom.  That’s why it hurts my heart so much to be in this situation.

As we drove to Anchorage, I was so nervous.  I didn’t want Tripp to be let down if Levi didn’t show.  Of course, if you saw the show you know Levi didn’t manage to make it.  Instead, I got an angry phone call from his girlfriend.

I never thought my life would be this way.  However, I’m thankful for all of the blessings that we have.  I’m thankful for all the wonderful men in my family and in my life.  Especially Tripp, who was really thankful I let him eat that icing right out of the can when we were baking.

You might also enjoy these articles on the Faith and Family Channel:

Connect with me further by:

  • Joseppi

    You are the one who set Tripp up to be let down that day. I hope you can own that.

    • robhart

      Levi let his son down.

      • Joseppi

        Yes he has, but not that day when Bristol told him Levi would show up. Levi told Bristol he would not be part of her show even when offered money. Bristol knew that when she set Tripp up to be disappointed that day.

        • Sue

          And you know this how? Of course to you PDSers everything Levi says is pure truth.

      • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

        Total set up and you know it. Pathetic. Sad & cruel to do that to a child Bristol.

        • steven hunt

          you have no proof at all anything was a set up at all. You, all, who hate Bristol are going to say mean things to her regardless of what she says/does. She’s a good mom and a good person and you ignorant liberals hate here because she’s conservative. By the way if you want to hate someone aim your hatred at bill maher everything he says is disgusting and full of hate but because he’s a liberal he gets a pass.

          • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

            I do not HATE anyone. I don’t even know the girl. In fact, the 1st time I ever heard the word “haters!” used to describe people casually was when it was uttered by Ms. Bristol Palin in 2008. I am 54 years old. NEVER heard it, and it came out of the mouth of an immature teenager. Look at her cross-eyed? You’re a HATER! Don’t like her Mother? You’re a HATER! Don’t believe her childish lies to make herself look better to her “fans”? YOU ARE A HATER!!!! Good grief people. Get a grip. Such an ugly term to use. Even in normal conversation such as, let’s say….someone offering me a donut during a breakfast meeting? I wouldn’t say I HATE DONUTS! Pretty damn extreme. I dislike them, yes. I save HATE for murderers, rapists, child molesters and people who are cruel to animals. Did Bristol herself start this weird trend to use this term HATERS? Or was it her Mom? Maybe I am giving this family seeking fame too much credit. :) I do dislike what she is doing to her child. It’s quite cruel. And I sure hope that Levi gets the same judge that Sarah’s sister did during the child custody hearing for the Wooten children. He KNOWS when children are being used as pawns. And you all may need to re-think that idea of Levi NOT paying child support. Just because Bristol said it doesn’t mean it’s true. OK….give it to me baby…..call me a HATER! hahaha. This is like sitting in on a 3rd grade classroom reading all of these posts. (although most normal 3rd graders that are raised properly behave and articulate better than this) Quite fun actually while flying and passing the time. Cheers!

          • otlset

            Liberals popularized the term “haters” years ago referring to, well, everybody that says anything remotely derogatory to them and their ideals and their ever-victimized ‘minority’ sub-groups, which thanks to the liberal’s never-ending drive to categorize and stereotype and put people in identity boxes are legion.

            But another concern is how someone can live 54 years on the planet and claim to never have heard the term.

    • Truth101

      Come on! Ricky Hollywood passing up money. Ricky Hollywood didn’t show up because he knew that Bristol was going to call that scumbag piece of shzz out for every lie he has spread about her and family.

      That is the only reason the deadbeat baby maker dad didn’t show up.

      From what I could see from the show, Tripp wanted to hang out with the sperm bank. That right there is prove that Bristol doesn’t trash that lowlife around her son.

      Bristol, Do yourself a favor and let it go or your life and your son’s life will always be Ricky’s loon girlfriends harassing you. Hollywood and the enablers in AK may have used that dumpazz kid to trash your family but Hollywood also wants nothing to do with scum like that.

      Ricky Hollywood, How is your mom’s basement? What happen to the money, Ricky? Was it all worth it?

    • Allison

      That poor baby was so excited to see his dad, though apparently Bristol doesn’t refer to Levi as his dad. The whole time she knew he wasn’t going to be there. Why on camera Bristol, why? Why put that moment on TV? For ratings? are ratings more important than your son? What you did was sick and twisted. As someone on your hit “reality” show once said, I don’t believe in hell, but if there is one, there a spot there waiting for you.

      • k

        ur just a hater,go hate somewere else,,,,

      • steven hunt

        she wanted her son to see his dad! she did the right thing. He didn’t show up proving all along how horrible of a dad he is. Bristol didn’t know he wouldn’t be there. do you think she’s psychic? Why are you liberals so concerned about her every move? are you that judgemental when it comes to the “teen moms” on mtv or just when it comes to bristol palin? Don’t act like she puts ratings before her child she’s a good mom and who are you to judge her? What she did was anything but sick and twisted. The only thing sick and twisted is you attacking her for doing the right thing and being the best mom she can be. Anyways to say she’s going to hell shows your lack of class and character. You aren’t God and you aren’t perfect. Worry about your own life or try gettting a life!

        • k

          bravo well done

    • steven hunt

      yeah so tripp’s dad gets a pass for being a horrible father yet Bristol who is a good mom and is always there for tripp is the bad mom? you’re not serious I hope and if you are you really aren’t that bright.

      • Patriot

        Tripp’s father isn’t on a reality show using his son to make money and bad-mouthing Tripps mother.

        • otlset

          Why not take a shot at commenting on all the lies in Levi’s book Bristol has to put up with?

    • k

      ya just another hater,go hate in your own family

  • robhart

    I felt so bad when Tripp said he did not want to ever come back to the bounce house. My hope is that Levi steps up and allows you to move on with your life. Life’s a Tripp shows that mom and dad raised you right. I am proud of you. Keep your heart pointed to the heavenly “North Star” and life will be grand even in the hardest trials.

  • Joseppi

    And don’t worry, soon Tripp will have his father and his new little sister in his life, and there won’t be anything you can do to stop it this time. So it’s a win for Tripp.

    • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

      The games will hopefully stop soon. Her playing this out on TV just to slam him & lie about the REAL situation is coming to an end shortly. The beauty of it all is that it’s all recorded and cell phone records CAN be subpoenaed.

      • Truth101

        Like Bristol said, she saved all the phone calls and records that have anything to do with the deadbeat dad.

        What is Ricky going to entertain his new family in his drug addict mom’s basement. Maybe the jailbird mom can sell some more illegal drugs to help pay Ricky’s child support.

        • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

          You are so misinformed. Public court records ARE available. What about Bristol’s Aunt who likes to take her young daughter (Bristol’s cousin) along with her when she break’s into homes and steals? Yes….she was arrested and charged and found guilty dear. Don’t hear the Palin’s talking about that though. :)

          • otlset

            I hope if such records exist they are made public so you can eat your stinking words.

    • Michelle

      You’re so out of your mind “Joseppi”…. Levi is going to do to Sunny and Breeze just as he did to Bristol.. What makes you think a guy can change just like that.. Especially since he doesnt make any attempt to see his own child.. Forget the ratings, forget the show. If Levi gave two shits about his child, he would have went to Bouncing Bears that day and saw his child.. Also, why isnt he around to teach Tripp to skate? I feel bad for Tripp because he has to deal with Crazy Slut Bag Sunny & his whore of a aunt Sadie. Why the hell would Sunny tell Tripp to call her mommy to.. What a freak.. You’re pregnant with Levis baby.. Just so he would stay around.. Guess what sweetie.. He won’t..

  • Debra Poynter

    This brought tears to my eyes. You are trying so hard as a mom to include Levi in everything w Tripp’s life. It is up to him to respond, he will regret this later in life! Your parents have raised you well and you are following their foot steps. Keep up the good work as a mom and always be there for Tripp!! : )

    • Allison

      You fell right into her trap. That’s what she wants, sympathy. It’s totally orchestrated. I feel sorry for all of you suckers.

      • k

        shes not on welfare like all the demon c rats

      • ResponsibleHardworking REALSingleMom

        I don’t.
        I want to be a fly on the wall when Bristol is served her subpoena.
        Not THAT would make for good reality TV!

      • http://yahoo millie

        Allison,
        You are wrong, Bristol doesn’t want sympathy, she is trying to show the people who are
        accusing her of not letting Levi see his son who is actually telling the lie and that is Levi and
        Sunny who was telling that Bristol was not allowing him to see his son. I think she proved it
        quite well and has it recorded. This takes care of the lie that they told on Bristol.

        It is so sad that a father would not want to see his son. It is sad day but Bristol is not to
        blame.

  • Barbie M

    Dont worry to much about him not having his dad in his life, it might become a blessing later in his life. I never saw my dad and he lived just 30 minutes away from me. God puts people in our lives for a reason and God gave me my grandparents and I couldn’t have asked for a better father figure in my life than my grandfather. I learned over the course of my life that my father was just the sperm donor and like your friend says in the episode, a name on my birth certificate. His being absent from my life has had no effect on the person that I am today. My father isn’t a good guy and I’m relieved that he his isn’t in my life. On day Tripp will understand and he will be greatful for the wonderful guys that he does have in his life!! Love your show and I think you are an amazing person from an amazing family. God bless you and your family!

  • Laura

    I certainly understand your feelings. I have a 16 year old son who has seen his dad a handful of times. I have had the same feelings of failure. However, we are surrounded by many men in our church that have really stepped up to teach him lessons that I can’t or reinforced things that I have taught him. Keep your head up and shake off the negative people…including Levi and his new girlfriend.

    My daughters and I enjoy your show!

  • Britt

    Bristol,
    I am not a single mom, but I am a young mom. I got pregnant at 19. I am very lucky because my son’s dad did stick around and is an amazing father. I believe that you are doing an amazing job raising your son and I have a lot of respect for you. It is hard enough to raise a child when there are 2 let alone with just 1. There are so many challenges and it is a constant learning process. I have felt like a failure a couple of times, but it is ok. It is ok to have those feelings, it all depends on what you do to deal with them. You can wallow in them and become depressed, or you can do what you and I have done. You pick yourself up and move on and do your best to do better the next day. Keep up the good work. God Bless.

  • kameron

    Bristol,
    Hang in there, girl. Keep ignoring the hate and remember that God will always be a wonderfu Father to Tripp regardless of how many time shis earthly father has let him down! And, that boyfriend of yours on the show sure does seem to be a great earthly father. But, remember, as long as Tripp has God, he is set for life!

  • Patriot

    “Lifetime yanks Bristol Palin from prime time and replaces her with repeat episodes of Dance Mom’s.”

    The market has spoken and people aren’t buying what Bristol is selling. I love Capitalism, God Bless America!

    • Truth101

      Ten o’clock is not prime time.
      She is still getting paid.

    • http://yahoo millie

      patriot,

      Don’t you think it is kinda of sad that we have a society that would want to watch an abusive dance
      instructor yell at little young girls when she is teaching them how do dance and what is
      worst is the mom’s stand by and let their children be treated like that. As Mark Ballas has said
      about this dance instructor, the damage that she is doing to these little girls are going with them
      the rest of their lives. It is very sad.
      In case you don’t know who Mark Ballas is he is one of the best professional on Dancing With the
      Stars and he also has dance studios. He was outraged when he saw her. This women should not
      be allowed to work with children.

  • miiiir

    I’m guessing the Joseppi is either Sunny or Sadie. Haha. Gtfo Bristols page, you stalker. Didn’t your mommy teach you “If you don’t have anything nice to say, dont say it at all”? I swear. As hard as Bristol works to raise HER son, she should be able to post her own life on HER OWN PAGE. If you don’t like Bristol, OR ANY OF THE PALINS FOR THAT MATTER; simply LEAVE THEM ALONE.
    She’s doing a great job at supporting herself and her son, that she is raising.
    Which is pretty pathetic on Levis part that he can’t even have the respect to come see!!!
    Also, does Levi know what a condom is?? Two GIRLS not women GIRLS pregnant in the same, what 3 years? Disgusting Levi.

    Bristol, just focus on Tripp & you.
    If Levi doesn’t want To be there; don’t let him. He is going to have his “own family” soon. Ya. Let’s see how that works out. Seeing how he’s a lying, cheating pig.

    Ok, rant over.
    You’re an amazing woman, and a fantastic mother. You are the most beautiful girl in the Valley. Any guy would be LUCKY to have you & Tripp in their life. :]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X