Church Sign Epic Fails, Advent Onslaught Edition

I gotta tell you, these sign are better than fruitcake. At least I don’t lose fillings looking at church signs…

Yeah, but returning them is a massive pain in the ass without a receipt.

Hey, what did that little donkey ever do to him? Better hope PETA doesn’t hear about this.

Word is that you can get away with fifty-one skips a year, but you are automatically on Jesus’ “naughty and condemned to hell for eternity” list if you skip out on this one.

Kinda like the original, but with more boring, monochromatic costumes. Oh, and they genuflect to the sugar plum fairy.

A nice, warm and fuzzy sentiment for the holidays. And I love that they blurred out the name of the church but not the pastor. Fan mail time!!!

Yes, these pagan symbols we co-opted and repurposed from paganism for our own religion are only for Christians. And PS, that ain’t a good deal, at least in Portland.

Yeah, cause if you’re a turkey, you’re dead, which, yaknow, would make it hard to be thankful.

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. (x = 40-3)

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. 36

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. XXXV

Church Sign Epic Fails, Birthday Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Reader Submissions (Part 2)

Church Sign Epic Fails: Reader Submission Special Edition

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

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  • Chad


  • Old Ben

    Ironic how a quote attributed to Cesar: veni, vidi, vici is now used to described Christ….

    • Christian Piatt

      We Christians have a knack and very storied history of “repurposing” things.

  • David Starner

    I like how they obscured “ass”. Either use the word yourself or find some more appropriate way to say it; don’t bleep yourself.

  • TheRidger

    So, do the tree sellers have a catechism? Make you swear on the Bible? What?