Church Sign Epic Fails, “Soul Harvest” Edition

What’s the difference between a duck? One of it’s legs is the same! (weird joke from an old math teacher. Still don’t get it.)

Make sure you don’t get your souls mixed in with your beans. Those things are impossible to get out of your teeth.

No, no, there’s no irony at all in a church named “Unity” having such a warm, fuzzy sign.

Especially ones that use words like “Hokey”

This one actually took me a minute…

Great thing about this sign is if they leave it up forever, some day they’ll actually be right! And why is “Today” in quotes? Is this some sarcastic hipster reference I’m not in on? I feel so left out.

…and from the same church on the back side of the same sign. Maybe Jesus will finally help me unlock that next level on World of Warcraft…

Well, actually, if you just give us the cash, we’ll make sure God gets it. Promise!

Church Sign Epic Fails, Advent Onslaught Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. (x = 40-3)

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. 36

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. XXXV

Church Sign Epic Fails, Birthday Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Reader Submissions (Part 2)

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Hummingwolf

    The reason you don’t get the duck joke is that you’ve misremembered the answer. The true answer, which I heard from a nuclear physicist, was “One of its legs are both the same!”
    You get it now, right?
    (Neither do I.)

    • Koro Neil

      One of its legs are both the same, and when it walks its head bangs together.

  • Norm Deplume

    I looked up the CC(DoC) church, and when the google car came through, the sign said “Jesus is Lord of all or not at all.” Not much better.

  • Evelyn

    Nope, one of its legs IS both the same.
    Now it makes sense, no?

    • Christian Piatt


  • stardreamer42

    In point of fact, I don’t give God the credit — or the blame either. I stand on my own two feet.