Bakker: Use My Food Buckets as Furniture

Christian con man Jim Bakker is trying really, really hard to sell those buckets of terrible survival food he’s been hawking. His latest sales pitch is that you can use them as furniture in your living room until the apocalypse comes and you need to start choking down that vile slop.

Today, Bakker told viewers that they can use the buckets to support furniture in their homes as they await the inevitable apocalypse … which may actually be more useful than attempting to cook and eat the products in the buckets when the end finally comes.

“You could have your whole living room with end tables and coffee tables made out of food buckets,” Bakker said. “Just do it.”

And after you finish one, you can cut out the bottom and use it as a basketball hoop! I don’t know what’s more ridiculous, Jim Bakker or the credulous dumbasses who fall for him.

“Jim Bakker the evangelist spells his name with two Ks because three would have been too obvious.” — Jeff Stilson