Ed Blanch on Catholic Bishops Hats

Guest blogger Ed Blanch writes for RED– the Intercollegiate Marxist Review. An activist with the Occupy Chick-Fil-A movement, he is also a member of Citizens for Rap Music. He comments regularly on the PETA website and blogs at There’s No Sky Fairy. Ed is a sophomore at North Jersey College of Technology majoring in media studies.

Somebody commented on my blog: There’s No Sky Fairy that I should look into the ridiculous habit of these Catholic bishops wearing pointy hats. I never thought about it before. They look like dunce caps, except they’re split down the middle and have these tabs down the back, and are not really like dunce caps, but you can see what I mean.

Anyway, I looked it up on the internet and it doesn’t surprise me to find out that the pointy hats which the Catholic bishops where are exactly the same as the hats that were worn by the high priests of the ancient pagan Philistine religion. The Philistines were notorious for being un-sophisticated people, and although many people think their religion has died out they are still around because one of my college professors used exactly this word when he said some students who had been partying and made a mess were a bunch of philistines. Probably they were doing some New Age stuff which I have heard about on campus, and they are bringing back this ancient religion like some of the wimmin who are doing Wicca.

So I don’t mind all that stuff if they want to do it, but it only shows that the Catholic religion comes from the worship of the ancient fish god Dagon who was also a Philistine. How dumb is that? They believe he was half fish and half man see? So they dressed up their priests with a fake fish head with an open mouth, and the skin of the fish went down his back like a cloak, and if you look at the Bishop sideways you will see that his pointy hat (which is called a tonsure) looks like an open fish mouth. They usually wear the tonsure when they are wearing a big cape like cloak which is called the capa nostra. This is to remind people of the fish skin that covered the back of the high priest of Dagon and you can see pictures of the whole thing if you go on the internet.

To show how ridiculous and pagan the whole Catholic thing is, get this: you know those fish signs you see on the back of Christian cars? It has a secret Greek word on it called ICTHUS. They say this stands for the first letters of the name of Jesus, but it turns out ICTHUS is really a secret Christian code word. It is the Greek word for–you guessed it: FISH! This is also why the Catholics are not allowed to eat anything but fish except on Fridays when they are allowed to eat salad, and I knew a guy who was Catholic who used to love eating seafood so why is that a hardship? Especially when there are starving children in the world?

Hold on. There’s more. Do you remember your Bible stories kiddies? What was the occupation of the disciples? They were ‘Fishermen’ right? And what about all those stories in the Bible about fish? Noah being swallowed by the whale? That’s a symbolic story showing that the Old Testament Jews were also secret followers of Dagon the fish god. Then remember when Jesus Christ does a ‘miracle’ by having his friends catch a lot of fish? Then he says they will be ‘fishers of men’. It’s all a secret code because he was ‘luring’ them into the pagan religion of Dagon worship. Then they were supposed to use nets to catch people. We can see now that this was an ancient prophecy against the internet.

Then he ate fish after he supposedly ‘resurrected’ from the dead. He gave them fish to eat and here’s where it gets really sick: he said the bread and wine he gave them to eat was his body and blood. Then he gives them fish to eat and the word ‘fish’ sounds like the word ‘flesh’ so when they eat fish/flesh they are eating his flesh. That’s exactly what Catholics believe. They believe the bread/fish/flesh is Jesus Christ. Then sometimes they put the bread from their communion service in a big jeweled gold thing with a round window called a ‘monstrance’ (notice the similarity to the word ‘monster’ which connects the the ‘whale’ in the Noah’s whale story) and worship it, and so they are really worshipping Dagon the monster fish god. Sounds ‘fishy’ to me!

To prove the link with the fish monster, I discovered that the word ‘Dagon’ is only one letter short of ‘Dragon’. The Christians always said the ‘dragon’ was Satan, so all along they thought they were worshipping Jesus Christ–who one of my professors said probably never existed anyway– and instead they were secretly being enticed to worship the Dragon–Dagon– who is Satan. You probably already figured out that ‘Satan’ is an anagram of ‘Santa’ and that whole Christmas hoax is another thing I will write about later.

So anyway, next time you see a Catholic Bishop in their pointy hat remember that it’s all a load of ‘codswallop’.

For readers who are confused or upset by Ed’s remarks and would like to learn more about him go here and Thomas MacDonald has a juicy rant about dumb sophomoric atheists over here.


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New Guest Blogger Flora Harper
Mantilla the Hon on the Cappa Magna
Todd Unctuous on the Synod of Bishops
  • Jim

    Hello Mister Longnecker
    I am glad that you allowed Ed Blanch to research the pointed hats as I suggested.

    My own research has also explored the secrets hidden in the letters, in the same way as Ed. Did you notice that the word Dagon contains the letters for God as well as A and an n left over. I saw these letters on a big candle when I went to a funeral in one of your churches locally. So they are being very obvious with their waxy symbolism for God as DaGOn but only showing the two letters which are not in the word for ‘god’.

    Also the big cloak is not called a Cappa Nostra. I was told that its real name is based on the golden colour lots of them wear which is called Chino not Nostra at all. This is a small point to consider in the morning when you are reading your RCC newspaper.

    I had not fully understood the thing about salads until now. Does this also apply in cold countries like my own? We have Hot Cross buns here based on your American KKK organisation I understand. These are more warming than salads.

    Jim in Scotland

  • Peter Brown

    I thought the big cape-like cloak was the capo di tutti capi. How could a guy from North Jersey not know that term? (Disclaimer: I grew up in north Jersey myself.)

  • Arnold

    It all makes sense to me. Very insightful. LOL

  • mike cliffson

    Say Ed
    i mean c’mon, you’ve got way too much fish here in your post you knew this catholic kink and there he is stuffing seafood into himself and just think of the carbon footprint of the fishing industry and the transport industry and theyre exterminting the sea all the toxins and and its all witth the conspiracy he’s withthese policies of this old man in rome called pope to kill the planet with too many children and melt the sea ice and kill all the polar bears and all

  • Jim

    Killing the Polar Bears is part of the policy of the RCC to increase the number of fish. Because Polar Bears eat fish. So fewer bears equals more fish for their feasting.
    And don’t forget the Greek ICTHUS thing…..I mean, the Greek word for Bear is Arktos, just like Arctic.

  • Gail Finke

    “We can see now that this was an ancient prophecy against the internet.” OMG this guy is so insightful! He is a genius the way he figured out that the bishop hat is JUST like a dunce cap, sort of, but that has to be the biggest insight of all. I mean, how come no one ever thought of any of this in the past 2000 years? He must be one of those “Brights” I read about a long time ago in a science fiction story, before the atheists realized that the science fiction writer was a prophet. But not of Dagon, obviously. Of somebody good. Or not somebody, obviously, as there is no Somebody to be a prophet of. I mean a prophet of some impersonal but benign force, like universal consciousness or Oprah.

  • Kripa

    what a load of misleading trash. Bishops hats are Called MITRE’S, a tonsure is a haircut that many monks have. The style of the MITRE represents the flame of the Holy Spirit anointing the head of the Bishop.
    Fish was a main food source in these days, also the first 3 Greek letters of Our Lords name was the same as the Greek word for fish, so the symbol of a fish was used to indicate where Holy Mass was being said to avoid the constant persecution and murder from Roman authorities.
    This article is so incorrect and based on lies and anarchic silliness, that i think the authour is having a joke, if not then he is seriously mentally impaired, mad, or just an everyday conspiracy theorist
    it is really very funny
    God Bless you all

  • Kripa

    and eating fish on Fridays is out of respect for the Body of Christ which is ‘carne’ as is all red flesh, Fish are not classed as ‘carne’ so ppl choose to eat fish or have vegatarian meal
    “Fish sounds like Flesh’? in english maybe but not in Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic that the scriptures were written in

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Kripa, please go back to the original post and click on the link at the bottom to find out the true story about Ed Blanch

  • David N

    Lol, Fr D does it again. Maybe Ed should join up with Richard Dawkins! Meanwhile, back to my degree in Ecclesiastical Haberdashery, you know….

  • Sue Callahan

    Ok, I read the link at the bottom. Now I am just plumb embarassed. BTW, he looks just like my son.
    Sorry I thought your blog was pirated. hee

  • mike cliffson

    you’re forgetting the astrological alighnments with ursa major with theceltic bear Arthur or arturus which means king arthur so that you have to bring in the cosmic channels of force running from glastonbury to the great pyramids and I forget therest of it but it explains everything in the universe and why your ingrowing toenails release chi force becuase you havent hugged enough trees for chi ……
    or something

  • Jim

    You are right! And there’s even more.
    Ursa Major is the LATIN word for Bear Big and the great pyramides are lined up on Onions Belt.
    My toenails are fine so I don’t know about that. My ear is fine also now.
    Jim in Scotland
    ps I think you misspled the foreign word for tea. It is chai, not chi.