If you were reading my posts from last week, you may have noticed that I’ve been a bit…moody, as it were. I start getting down sometimes and it’s a terrible spiral. I find that usually what I need is to step away from the computer and get out into nature. Connect with friends in person, spend some time in action more than in thought. I think a lot. Too much plenty of people would say!
So it was the perfect time for a honeymoon.
Six months after my wedding, my husband had a break in grad school and we were able to get away. A few days away from the Internet has been a great blessing for me and it is something I strive to do every so often to keep myself grounded and balanced. For me, things on the Internet tend to blow issues out of proportion and make everything feel bigger and usually worse than it actually is.
Our honeymoon was a very simple trip. I really wanted to go to Scotland, which I’ve only been to briefly once before. It is the land of my and my husband’s heritage, so it would mean a lot to us to go there. But this time we just didn’t have the money, so we went to a Bed & Breakfast a couple hours from home, near Gettysburg. At the end of the week we went down to D.C. for a comic book/sci-fi convention (my first, though many of my friends go to lots of these).
I’m so glad for the responses on my post from Wednesday about feeling like Christianity is always accosting me. There were some great insights and perspectives in the comments and I was grateful to get some Christian perspectives on it too. I realized something, also. I’m extra sensitive to the Christian stuff but I don’t notice things that I’m indifferent to.
As one person pointed out, in the area where I live, there are plenty of “Darwin fish” on cars as well as cars with “Jesus fish.” Darwin fish don’t bother me, so I don’t even notice them. I’m extra sensitive to Christian messages, and so I see them and they irritate me very quickly.
This example may seem strange, but it reminds me of mustard. When I was a kid, I hated mustard. A tiny drop of it on my food and I could taste it immediately and reject the entire dish. However, as I got older I began to like mustard. Suddenly, I couldn’t taste just a tiny drop of it anymore. I had to put more on my food to get its flavor. I realized that when you dislike something, even a little bit is very noticable. When you’re neutral or like something, it doesn’t stand out as much and you need more of it to notice. This seems like it would be useful for evolution, to make sure that we pay attention to and remember things that are a threat. But in our modern lives, sometimes we mistake what’s really a threat.
So yes, it is tough to be a religious minority (and believe me, I’ve thought of even more examples since I wrote that post!) but if I can learn to feel less threatened and afraid of Christianity I think things would be much easier for me. That continues to be a work in progress. At the sci-fi convention there was a Christian booth and they even had a church service at the con. I rolled my eyes because you don’t see any other religion represented. No one else is buying a booth at a sci-fi convention to talk about God. But booths cost money, so I guess the rest of us could always purchase a booth so we’re represented also!
But really, I felt torn. I felt like if I didn’t have so many years of uncomfortable and defensive experiences with Christianity, I could have sat in that room and enjoyed their service. Evangelism has ruined that for me. Well, that’s not fair. It’s part evangelism and part me and how I respond to it. I hope someday to quell my ego enough to be able to enjoy a church service. Now is not that day, though.
Still, I return to you refreshed and rejuvenated!