September 2, 2016

The Ogre: “Charlotte, how was taekwondo?” Charlotte: “It was awesome! I learned an ass kick!” Me: “I think you mean an AXE kick.” The Ogre: “Hahahahahahahaha no, she had it right the first time.” Read more

August 4, 2016

(over dinner) The Ogre: “Every time you smile at me, I imagine you picking up that steak knife and stabbing me.” Me: “Hahahahaha that’s so funny! That’s the same thing I’m imagining!” The Ogre: “….” Me: “…” The Ogre: “…” Me: “Happy anniversary, though.” The Ogre: “Wait, what day is this?”   Happy anniversary to my sparring partner. May you continue to pull your punches and pretend that you’re not for years to come, or until I surpass you with... Read more

July 14, 2016

I’m not very good at sticking to a schedule. I know this is the least shocking news ever to anyone who read my blog regularly before my posting became so irregular, but anyway, it’s true. It’s especially true this summer. Usually in the summer we go to Texas, which is great for me because I’m forced to adopt the schedule of whoever we stay with. Since we alternate between my parents and the Ogre’s parents, this is a schedule created... Read more

June 20, 2016

Oh man, I realize now that the picture in my last post is less humorous and more alarming, given that it was followed by an extended absence with no explanation. I promise I did not drink myself under the table. We just moved. Actually, we moved twice. We moved to a temporary place and then to a new house, and we’re still settling in, and I deactivated (then reactivated) my facebook account, so I’ve kind of been….in a transitional state.... Read more

April 11, 2016

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April 11, 2016

Last week ended in a literal shitstorm. First, there was all kinds of crazy stuff going on with the selling of the house (the bold is the best I can do to communicate the doomsday music that plays in my head every time I think about it). Then there was a very long conversation with a student loan company, wherein I spent over an hour trying to convince the woman that just because our income is too low to qualify... Read more

April 5, 2016

The Ogre: “What’s wrong?” Me: *sob* “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it, because I really need to be a grown-up and just learn to deal with my own spectacular failures at life, and everything.” The Ogre: “…” Me: “Plus, you won’t be able to fix it because it’s my own stupid fault.” The Ogre: “…: Me: “Fine! Lincoln pooped in his underwear and then I drank some whiskey. I totally ruined the Whole 30! On the second day!”... Read more

April 4, 2016

YOU GUYS. A man just came to my house and brought me a machine that washes my dishes for me. Sounds crazy, right? But here’s proof: Truly, there is nothing like spending nearly a month without a dishwasher to make you realize that we live in the future, and it absolutely is all it’s cracked up to be. Just in time, too, because today marks day 1 of our Whole30. I did one last year, but this year I’m dragging... Read more

March 31, 2016

I don’t even know if this thing works anymore, but I’ll give it a try. Hello, BlogLand! I’m alive and all. Sorry for disappearing. I have a litany of (actually valid) excuses, but none of them really matter as much as this: The sweetest and most adorable baby ever born. Really, I probably could have found some time to write in the past two months, but every time I had the choice between cuddling Stormy and not cuddling Stormy, I... Read more

January 23, 2016

Introducing Isaac Christopher Charles Alexander, born on Thursday, January 21 at 1:03 pm. He is huge — 8 lbs, 14 oz. Whoever guessed that he’d be 9 lbs was pretty much dead on, which is a pound and a half bigger than any of my other babies. He’s also the calmest, squishiest, and most precious bundle of baby ever, and we are all completely obsessed with him. There’s no picture of me and Isaac yet, though, because I had a... Read more

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