***SATIRE*** On a livestream episode of The Vortex, viewers were greeted with an unprecedented surprise. The signature bass-driven intro jingle suddenly had a slightly different, yet familiar, sound. Most of the crew at Church Militant thought nothing of it in the moment. But as it turns out, the techs in the sound engineering accidentally played the wrong music track — which turned out to be the intro theme music from the popular 90’s comedy television series Seinfeld. Michael Voris, host… Read more
November 23, 2020
Church Militant accidentally plays Seinfeld theme music during The Vortex
November 23, 2020 By René Albert
November 20, 2020
Benedict XVI Comes Out Of Retirement, Declares Decaf Coffee A Sin
November 20, 2020 By René Albert
***SATIRE*** It’s not everyday a modern pope makes such a bold statement on something as simple as a drink. But it appears Benedict XVI has felt the spiritual calling to set the record straight. The Pope Emeritus has come out of retirement and assumed the papal chair while reading a letter of exhortation titled, “Capulus est Vita,” which translates in English, “COFFEE IS LIFE.” A Vatican spokesperson states, “Papal infallibility is like that really amazing tool you’ve bought from the… Read more
November 19, 2020
Saints Are Sinners, Too.
November 19, 2020 By René Albert
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I’ve been a longtime admirer of Pope John Paul II even during my Evangelical years. The recently released report on former Cardinal Thomas McCarrick may shake other admirers as it has revealed that he (among others) was complicit in enabling Cardinal McCarrick (an accused sexual deviant and abuser) to rise up in the Church hierarchy. Some believe JPII’s experiences with communist smear campaigns against the Church in Poland that involved false accusations of clerical sexual abuse have influenced him to believe… Read more
November 13, 2020
“Don’t follow a mere man like the Pope,” says Protestant with MAGA hat
November 13, 2020 By René Albert
***SATIRE*** Well, the 2020 U.S. Election has taken an unexpected turn for many Republican supporters, but some have not thrown in the towel yet. In light of Trump taking legal action over the possibility of fraudulent votes given to Democrat Joe Biden, many Republican supporters are adamant that the election is far from over. “This election was stolen!” shouts an outspoken Brude O. Viepürz, who happens to identify as a die-hard Republican-voting Protestant. “It was foretold that the man of… Read more
November 4, 2020
Archbishop Vigano has been rock star Phil Collins all along
November 4, 2020 By René Albert
***SATIRE*** Archbishop Vigano is no stranger to controversy. He is most widely known for calling out Pope Francis for negligible church leadership. Little did everyone know that Vigano is also an avid rock musician walking around in clerical garments. Turns out the veteran Catholic cleric has been former Genesis drummer and vocalist Phil Collins this whole time. Now everyone can see his true colors shining through. After enjoying the success of being one of the biggest pop-rock artists throughout the… Read more
October 28, 2020
Why I Don’t Celebrate The Reformation (And Neither Should You)
October 28, 2020 By René Albert
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When I attended an Evangelical summer youth camp when I was 17, we had a theme called ‘couch potatoes.’ For those of us who spend copious amounts of time watching television, playing video games or scrolling through social media, it’s easy to allow ourselves to sit on the couch while not considering the content we absorb from the screen. Whether it’s watching or reading a news story, a kid’s show or even the latest season of our favorite reality-TV show,… Read more
October 25, 2020
My Struggle With Creationism
October 25, 2020 By René Albert
In elementary school, I used to spend countless hours in the library reading books about space, the planets in our solar system and other celestial bodies. My favorites were selected books from Isaac Asimov’s Library of the Universe. I absorbed as much information on quasars, pulsars, black holes, white dwarfs and red giants as my adolescent mind could contain. Even as part of a mini science experiment assignment, I mapped out the changing positions of the stars in the sky… Read more
October 1, 2020
Yes, I Denounce White Supremacy.
October 1, 2020 By René Albert
It has recently come to my attention that such terms like “Western Culture” or “Western Civilization” are seemingly rooted in white supremacist ideology, according to some activists I have engaged in conversation with. This catches me off guard, since I think I do my best to adhere to Christian principles which logically considers racism as sin. After all, the Bible states that there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male nor female, for we are all one in… Read more
September 25, 2020
Four Reasons Why I Cancelled My Netflix Subscription
September 25, 2020 By René Albert
In the wake of the trending outrage over Netflix’s content, my family and I have decided to cancel our subscription. Some of my readers might be a little put off by what appears to be a patronizing blog post. The point of this article is not to guilt everyone into hopping a bandwagon, but to talk about the reasoning behind our decision to cancel Netflix and encourage those who may be considering a similar decision. 1 – We… Read more
September 11, 2020
Netflix’s ‘American Gospel’ Grossly Misrepresents Catholic Teaching (PART TWO)
September 11, 2020 By René Albert
< PREVIOUS PAGE MIKE GENDRON: “And he must now receive sacraments. He must confess his sins to a priest which is the sacrament of penance. And then he must be rejustified by doing good works, by doing penance (Man on chart struggles as he ascends and descends on the chart). Then he must maintain his salvation through sacraments.” The word ‘sacrament’ is a word used to summarize an act of faith, just like the word ‘Trinity’ is used to summarize… Read more
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