10 Reasons Why I Get Along With My Girlfriend’s Dildo

9. I do not mix my Martinis with her sex toy when she’s not at home.

Dildos can be used  for a lot of non-sexy fun. Here are some 0ther things I don’t do with her sex toy when she’s at work:

• Put mayo on my sandwiches with it. 
• Pretend we’re two globetrotting travelers having adventures.
• Practice my interviewing skills by asking it what the inside of Mike Pence’s butt is like.