Washington DC – From day one the Trump administration was riddled with scandals. How much did Russia help Donald Trump get elected? The President’s abuse of the emoluments clause was something the American public hadn’t seen in modern times. And, of course, there was the multimedia storm around Trump’s affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels.
However, none of those scandals affected the commander-in-chief’s relationship to his political base. In fact, each wrongdoing by Trump seemed to strengthen his fans’ resolve to stand by their man.
The Barron Trump Crisis
White House spokesperson Andrew Canard admitted this morning the youngest son of Donald Trump is now identifying himself as a democratic socialist.
“Barron is only thirteen,” Mr. Canard reasoned. “I think every conservative had a few days of misspent youth when they thought tax cuts for the wealthy weren’t the answer to every problem.”
For days stories were leaking to the media in drips and drams about Barron’s discovery that not only do poor people exist, but the current socio-political system in the United States is geared to keeping them impoverished. One anonymous friend stated Barron talked about medical expenses being the #1 reason why Americans declare bankruptcy without the glee his brothers and father have when discussing the topic. Another incident occurred just yesterday when Barron mentioned to a staffer the state has a moral responsibility to curb carbon emissions.
“Where did he get a crazy idea like that?” asked the staffer.
Evangelical leaders are ringing the alarm bell. Megachurch ministers and other servants of the Christian industrial-complex are publicly voicing concerns that Barron Trump is acting like Jesus.
“It’s as if he’s taking the Golden Rule seriously,” one megachurch minister remarked while floating in his Olympic sized swimming pool. “What kind of man is Donald Trump if he can’t control his own son?”
Evangelical churches are forming emergency prayer circles to send thoughts and prayers for Barron. Many groups are having their activities live-streamed on Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter. The logic is that Jesus will be sure to take notice of all those likes, retweets, and shares.
As of right now evangelicals are still supporting President Trump. Will that last if Barron goes through with his plan to dress like German Prime Minister Angela Merkel for Halloween?
No one knows for sure.
In the meantime, brothers Donald Jr and Eric are rumored to be planning to take Barron to Las Vegas for an extended weekend paid by the American taxpayer. Perhaps then, Barron will understand the power of the dark side.