Holland Cancels The Bible

Holland Cancels The Bible March 4, 2021

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Amsterdam, Holland – The government of the Netherlands is officially canceling the holy book of 2.38 billion Christians, the Bible. In what many see as cancel culture gone amok national leaders are urging everyday citizens and businesses to treat the book as a collection of morally questionable fairy tales. A variety of restrictions, fines, and public shaming is aiming to kill Christianity in this nation of approximately 17.5 million souls.

Netherland’s Prime Minister Andrew Canard said, “We need to protect our children and our way of life from toxic American-style Christianity. The Bible needs to go.”

The Dutch Attacks On Christianity

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The States General, Netherlands bicameral legislature, voted in favor of the Public Health Protection Order #666 (PHPO666). Prime Minister Andrew Canard quickly signed the measure into law. Most elements of the statute are now in effect while other long-term goals are being worked on.

Here are just a few of the provisions in PHPO666:

Twitter Monitoring A council of cancel culture aficionados is monitoring Twitter to ensure any Dutch citizens who tweet any Bible verse or phrases like thoughts and prayers will be named and shamed.

Warning Labels – It is now against the law to own a Bible that doesn’t have a warning label on it. New Bibles will all have a sticker on the cover warning readers the Bible is full of misogyny, genocide, and homophobia. Bibles already in churches and homes must have a sticker on them within 30 days.

Taxes – Churches will have to pay taxes. For those who dislike this measure, the Dutch government reminds people they have a functional government and a good social safety net so churches don’t really add anything positive to society.

Resistance To Cancel Culture

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Outraged Christians are mounting campaigns to fight the government’s attempt to cancel their deeply held thoughts and beliefs. Many believe faith — believing in facts that can’t be proven — is healthy for a mature functioning society.

“Catholicism is the bedrock of any free society,” the Arch Bishop of Rotterdam said. “Where would our nation be without the Church telling us what ideas are acceptable to think or demanding no man wear a condom on his boterham?”

Many experts see the government’s embrace of cancel culture as a way to fight the influence of American evangelicals who seek to turn the Netherlands into Mississippi.

“We will fight them in the book stores. We will fight them in the churches. We will bear any burden. We will never surrender and become Mississippi,” said Prime Minister Canard.

In related news, Texas bans AOC.


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