by Doug Wilson from Blog and Mablog – Waiting for the Rat to Die
Editor’s note: The unquoted bits of this deal with the Christian trope of forgiveness not matter what. At least he didn’t insist on immediate and full forgiveness of this fictional sexual assault victim towards the person that abused her. This idea about not being ‘bitter’ in the aftermath is so inappropriate on many different levels. It’s more victim silencing.
Bitterness in your circumstance is certainly understandable. No one needs to wonder why you would be tempted to bitterness and deep anger. You would be a block of wood or stone if you were not tempted that way. But the understandable nature of the temptation does not make giving way to the temptation a wise course of action. Someone once observed—with great wisdom—that bitterness is like eating a box of rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.
I have gone on long enough, so I will finish with this. No doubt we will have pursue it further in our next exchange. I have been warning you against that class of counselors who are advocates of “healing,” but whose counsel results in no healing at all. Healing should heal. Your father wounded you. If the staff at the ER clean and dress the wound, and then give you strict instructions on how to take care of your bandages and so on, they are trying to keep you from making a bad situation worse. A wound can get infected, and it might get infected through your negligence or disobedience. Any situation, however bad, can always be made worse. Now exhorting you on your responsibility to not become malicious is not in any way a justification of what your father did in wounding you in the first place. His mistreatment of you was and remains obvious. But giving way to hatred and bitterness would simply be a way for you to join in on the mistreatment of you. In other words, whatever you do, stay away from the rat poison.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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