Quoting Quiverfull: Judging Modesty?

Quoting Quiverfull: Judging Modesty? July 12, 2017

quotingquiverfullby Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – No, I am Not Ultra-Conservative

Editor’s note: So Lori is being told that she’s ‘immodest’ and she does not much like it. I have stated here in the past that some of the outfits Lori wears would have gotten her in trouble at many churches. Her post just proves how slippery a slope deciding what others should wear to be ‘modest’ is. People should dress in what makes them feel good, and not because someone else has fixed ideas about what they should wear.

Some of you are ultra-conservative but I am not. I wear dresses and skirts just above my knees because this is where Ken likes me to wear them. I would wear them to the floor, if this is what he wanted from me. I even wear shorts once in a while around my home and some of my thigh shows. (One woman told me there is a verse about the thigh not showing so I asked her for it but she never responded.) I watch some TV (Hallmark, Fox News, The Duggars and The Bates Shows, and a few others) and go to the movie theater (but am careful about what I see – no nudity, sex scenes, vulgar language, etc.).

My modesty standards may not be the same as yours (some women were upset with a comment Ken made about some thigh showing) but that doesn’t mean we are wrong. I listen to godly men and what they consider immodest and dress accordingly. I don’t believe we need to wear burkas (as some women have told us) and cover our hair, faces, shoulders, and ankles. This isn’t what the typical man lusts after.

I have heard that some men have foot fetishes but this doesn’t mean we can never go barefoot. This is a problem with the men and yes, there are men who are perverts and will lust no matter what women wear but this isn’t our problem. It’s theirs. As godly women, we need to know how the typical man thinks and dress to not be a stumbling block to them.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

moreRead more by Lori Alexander:

Vagina Hats and Used Sanitary Napkins


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    In other words, she’s different, so don’t judge her. Very compelling coming from Lil Ms Judgy.

  • Saraquill

    Yoga pants cover from hip to ankle, but are immodest. Lori’s shorts expose knees and thigh, yet is acceptable. Double standards.

  • Tawreos

    Can she stick to a point? What does what she watches on TV and what movies she wants to avoid have to do with what she wears? I guess we should thank her for reminding us that foot fetishes exist, but still has no bearing on what she wears.

    Is it just me or does it seem appropriate that her husband in Ken, since apparently she is his living Barbie doll to be dressed however he wants her to be dressed.

    I guess the simple answer of “I wear what I want to wear and am comfortable in and I do not think it is in any way immodest or inappropriate” is just to simple and adult of an answer to the question.

  • Jo

    “My modesty standards may not be the same as yours but that doesn’t mean we are wrong.” …. however if other women have different standards to Lori, they are WRONG in her eyes e.g. women who wear yoga pants and she goes on and on about why they are wrong.

    “I have heard that some men have foot fetishes but this doesn’t mean we can never go barefoot. “ …… once again Lori has double standards – she is always telling women cover up and not tempt men and it is our fault if they are tempted. Here she is saying it is ok, even if there are some men who go wild over bare feet. Then she says the following “This is a problem with the men and yes, there are men who are perverts and will lust no matter what women wear but this isn’t our problem.” which goes against EVERYTHING she has ever written – she is ALWAYS telling us that it is OUR problem and we need to make sure we remove any problem for these preverted men (like Dave, Rob or Trey who can’t control themselves)

    This women is MAD. Truly mad.

  • Mimc

    If she went one step further and applied that logic to what other women wear then we wouldn’t even have a beef with her. She judges what other’s wear but doesn’t think it is fair for others to judge what she wears.

  • Freodin

    Summary: Don’t judge me! You cannot judge me! I am the one who judges here!

  • Nightshade

    She’s in damage control mode because her DIL posted a pic that comes real close to leaving Aunt Lori’s ass hanging out.

    https://thingsgodlywomensay.tumblr.com/post/162781992299/ken-alexander-supports-shorts-wont-cause-lust

    At first people thought Lori was wearing shorts, but according to Miss I’m-So-Godly it was the jean skirt that she posted a pic of before. OK, it does look like it could be a skirt, just hiked way up. In March she claimed that she always wears shorts under that skirt, and provided a link to the ones she buys on Amazon, which are ‘Sexy Basics Womens 3 Pack Sheer & Sexy Cotton Spandex Boyshort Yoga Bike Shorts,’ and come down to about mid thigh or longer. Does anyone else see them in that pic? Neither do I.

  • Nightshade

    I wouldn’t normally give a rat’s furry rear end what she wears, except that she sets herself up as the judge and jury for other women, and it seems she doesn’t even follow her own rules.

  • SAO

    Men get turned on by the idea a woman is sexually available. The more the CPM calls women who don’t meet their dress code sluts, the more CPM men will get turned on by that attire.

  • The Bofa on the Sofa

    I don’t know, but was I the only one who cringed when I got to here

    I wear dresses and skirts just above my knees because this is where Ken likes me to wear them.

    Actually, I started thinking what would she do if Ken were to want her to wear sexy lingerie? Then I started thinking about Sheena Easton’s song “Strut.”

    He said, “Baby, what’s wrong with you?
    Why don’t you use your imagination?”
    (Oh no, oh no)
    “Nations go to war over women like you
    It’s just a form of appreciation”

    “Come on over here, lay your clothes on the chair
    Now let the lace fall across your shoulder”
    (Oh no, oh no)
    “Standing in the half-light, you’re almost like her
    So take it slow like your daddy told ya”

  • AFo

    “There are men who are perverts and will lust no matter what women wear, but this isn’t our problem. It’s theirs.” Careful Lori, you’re sounding an awful lot like a feminist here.

    Oh wait, she completely undercuts this point in the very next sentence. Logical consistency is apparently also a sin in QF circles.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    She claims to watch the Duggar show but shows breathtaking ignorance of Michelle’s claim of exposing thighs, claiming it’s not in the Bible..

  • Tawreos

    That song drives me crazy. I’m all like I am strutting and pouting, but am I putting it out enough? I can never tell.

  • pagankitty

    What percentage of men have to find a body part sexy before women are required to cover it up?? Are men going to take regular fetish surveys so that we can keep up??

  • gimpi1

    Shorter Mrs. Alexander, “I’m the center of the universe, and whatever I do is automatically the right thing in any situation. Anyone who disagrees with me in any way on either side of anything is wrong, forever. Oh, and Ken rules.”

    I wonder what it’s like to live in a universe that small… I swear, she can touch the sides from her favorite chair.

  • Joy

    Oh, the irony. What she describes here is off limits at the churches in grew up in.

  • Joy

    “Ken rules”, hahaha. I just can’t stop chuckling.

  • The Bofa on the Sofa

    I don’t believe we need to wear burkas (as some women have told us) and cover our hair, faces, shoulders, and ankles. This isn’t what the typical man lusts after.

    Men don’t lust after hair?
    http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/blogs/why-womens-hair-is-sexy-according-to-hippocrates.htm

    or faces?
    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080507083952.htm

    or shoulders?
    https://www.theodysseyonline.com/whats-so-sexy-about-shoulders

    or ankles?
    https://www.girlsaskguys.com/guys-behavior/q580187-why-do-guys-think-ankles-sexy

    Formally, it’s special pleading. More generally, she’s just making shit up to try to justify herself.

  • texassa

    Get over yourselves!

  • GHN

    In other words: It’s perfectly acceptable for Lori to be judgy about what other women wear, but when other people criticize her clothes, it’s a horribly malicious attack!

  • Julia Childress

    I think that Lori’s entire world-view is the result of an insecure and fear-based faith. She, and many Christians like her get busy trying to ferret out every little possibility of personal sin because they are afraid – of punishment from God, of leading someone else astray, of not appearing holy enough, of maybe not really being saved. It’s pathetic. Today about 8500 children will starve to death, yet her god gives a crap about whether or not her thigh is exposed?

  • kilda

    except for the last sentence, and the part about wearing whatever hubby wants her to, she was making pretty good sense here.

  • Val

    What I see here is the problem I have with some modesty talks who say that a woman has to dress a certain way in order not to make men lust over her.
    There is no objective standard, there are men who see a woman’s ankle showing and lust and men who don’t see anything wrong in a woman wearing a bikini. Where do you draw the line between “It is my duty not to provoke lust” and “it is his problem and he has to deal with it”?

    My standard when choosing how to dress is: does this reflect my dignity as a woman and a human being? Does this say that try to be classy and elegant? Is this appropriate for the activities I will be doing today?
    I suppose that the clothes chosen this way will prevent people to objectify me (to a certain extent, at least) but avoiding lust cannot be my only and main standard when choosing my clothes.

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    You don’t HAVE modesty standards, Lori. You just do whatever your husband tells you. If you can’t make the decision for yourself, you have no actual standards.

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    It’s a mercy that those 8500 children will never have to be exposed to the sight of a woman’s thigh! /s

  • Aurelia Nicholas

    I sent in some very theologically correct comments about women in her last few blog posts. I was not harsh or mean . She never published them. I then sent her a personal post. Like I said to her , she would not respond, shut me down and block me. I nicely called her on her crap. And true to form did exactly what i thought she would. My concern was not to be mean to her, but because there is such a damaging wake left behind her that she REFUSES to acknowledge. My heart aches for women and children caught up in this dogma. I believe in God and the Bible. I don’t believe people like Lori have understood or even want to understand the fact that women were NOT kept in patriarchal cages in the NT. There is historical evidence in scripture and elsewhere that suggests women were valued for their full worth as human beings in the church. And that Paul has said some things pertaining to one women , or in general that have specific meaning for the time and place in which he was preaching concerning what the church in Corinth was facing. Context , context , context. It is clear that Lori has no interest in learning this context. She exhibits zero humility even though for years now people have called her out for poor doctrine, incorrect theology, and incorrect exegesis. None of this matters at all to her. The only thing that matters is her pride. She has directly run into this last pharisaicle debacle by her own actions and is maniacly trying to claw her way out. This is what her followers should be paying attention to. Her actions speak louder than anything. Do as I say not as what I do.

  • Aurelia Nicholas

    I believe she is very insecure. She has built up a whole following of people who constantly bolster and praise her. She has some character traits that we can all see that are deeply flawed but she can’t let go lest she lose one follower or googly eyed Lori worshipper. She has built up her whole insecure persona by being this Lori the blogger keeper of women’s souls one covered knee at a time. She’s a fake. And she’s scared we have proof now.

  • Anonyme

    Lori really changes her narrative based on how it might affect her. How Trumpesque.

  • lady_black

    How about this? I couldn’t possibly care any less about what men think!

  • lady_black

    Oh, I draw that line EVERYWHERE. It I no concern of any man what I wear. Not even my husband. He doesn’t consult me on his clothing choices, and he would look at me funny if I consulted him on mine!

  • lady_black

    Really? I’m glad you think so.

  • lady_black

    That’s why I say I couldn’t possibly care less.

  • lady_black

    Don’t even care enough to look. I’m all out of eye-bleach.

  • lady_black

    She must stick to children’s movies. I would sooner not go.

  • Around 1900 Spanish men would get dreamy over a flamenco dancer’s uncovered ankle (nowadays flamenco dancers show even more, but nobody cares). When my mom (born 1936) was young there was a song about a gentleman who saw a lady’s knee and was, let’s say, very much impressed. I guess, once again Lori is wrong.

  • katiehippie

    If god had wanted us to be naked, we would have been born that way…..

  • The Bofa on the Sofa

    She doesn’t understand that, while there are some common themes (big boobs and big butts have been desirable for most recorded history) what features are considered appealing are largely cultural.

    And don’t think it is immutable. Pubic hair, attractive or not? 50 years ago, absolutely. Now? No. The culture has changed.

  • JetGirl

    This is so delicious, I can’t stop cackling. The Modesty Queen being accused of being immodest? Calling out people for being too conservative? BWAHAHAHA.

  • Melody

    If I were an optimist, I’d say she is half-way there…. Sadly I know this is not the case. It is more like: I cannot be wrong, therefore everything I do is right.

    Either you’re a stumbling block, or you’re not. She wants to be able to pick and choose…. Be modest, but not too modest, because her guy does not like that….