by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – Freedom From Depression
Editor’s note: Spoken like someone that has no real idea what factors drive depression or how to overcome it. This is the dangerous, toxic, harmful Evangelical party line on depression that subtly, and sometimes directly, says that people with depression caused their own depression. Suspiciously there are only two comments on this post at Lori’s site. The last time she shared her horrific ideas about depression there were several people struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts that posted in the comments. She was ugly to them before completely erasing their comments. No matter what she claims there are screen caps clearly showing her lack of compassion and unhelpful theology. I hope the one young lady that spoke of suicide got the help she needed and didn’t kill herself. Lori needs to completely shut up about depression because her ideas harm others.
Women are twice as likely as men to get depressed and studies have shown that not only are women more hormonal but we are much more relationship oriented. Women suffer depression over loss more easily than men as well. If they move to a new place and lose old friendships, they can easily get depressed. Those who were not close to their mothers, rejected by their mothers, had distant mothers growing up or lost their mother by the age of eleven years old have a much greater risk at being depressed than those who had a mothers who were kind, cheerful, affectionate, and engaged
Whenever a woman tells me she struggles with depression, I encourage her to be in the Word and renew her mind with truth. Learn about her identity in Christ and that her past is forgiven and forgotten. She is a brand new creature because of Christ’s work on the cross. Her past no longer has to define her. God tells us that He gives us a sound mind. He instructs us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He commands that we dwell on the lovely and the good. We can trust that the God who made us knows what is best for us!
Find a solid Bible teaching church with godly women to get together with when you can. Build friendships since women do need friends. Become best friends with your husband as far as it depends upon you. Learn to smile and laugh with him. Work hard at home. God created us to work and work is good for us! Discipline yourself to eat healthy and stop eating sugar and junk food. Get outside and exercise. Don’t allow your thoughts to define your life but take control of your thoughts and allow truth to define them instead.
If you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts please get help, real help, not shaming and blaming ‘advice’ like Ms. Alexander hands out. No amount of Bible study or women’s groups or housework is going to magically solve the issue. However, a physical with a legitimate physician, talking to a trained mental health professional, treatment with appropriate medications, lifestyle modifications and a host of other things can help you and return your life to you.
If you find yourself seriously considering suicide please call a suicide hotline – 800.273.8255 – there are trained and compassionate people waiting to help you.
I know I’ve shared this at NLQ before but here it goes again, for anyone that is depressed and not considered what to do. My husband suffered a horrible depression for several years when we were going to our Evangelical church. He was given the exact same advice as Lori was spouting here. It did not help. He finally went to a doctor and it turned out he had a tumor on his parathyroid gland, several tumors in fact. The tumors were removed and his depression fled. His depression was a symptom of that illness, and no amount of Bible study, positive thinking, or fellowship was going to fix that. Had he not gone to the doctor he would have eventually died. Died. No Bible fixes that.Lori’s advice can kill you. /soapbox…
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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