Quoting Quiverfull: Feminists Can’t Get Married or Cook or Whatever?

Quoting Quiverfull: Feminists Can’t Get Married or Cook or Whatever? August 5, 2017

Lori Alexanders Brainby Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife – Feminism Has Created a Brutal Landscape For Women

Editor’s note: Lori is making me laugh today, but I think I’m going to have to call for a limit or moratorium on Lori Alexander posts here. She’s running out of material and starting to repeat herself, or like this post she quotes someone else’s thoughts before wrapping it in her ideas. Or, like her post today, it’s something we covered here at NLQ the day before, like Nancy Campbell’s ideas of breasts and stay at home dads. She’s becoming less and less original each day.

As you know, I hate feminism and what it has done to women, marriage, children, and our culture. It’s destructive tentacles have reached out and invaded everything, even the Church, unfortunately.

Feminist’s fruit is coming to fruition and it’s all vile and rotten. It’s becoming clearer every single day.

Young women are encouraged to have “free sex” and pursue higher education and careers instead of getting married, bearing children, and guiding their homes. They are told to send their children to daycare and public schooling instead of raising them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and yes, having boundaries for them, disciplining, and training them. They are encouraged to divorce their husbands when they aren’t happy instead of being covenant keepers until death do they part. They are sold a bill of goods in buying provocative clothing to cause men to lust instead of dressing modestly and respecting themselves and the men around them enough to cover up.

There are too many young women who want to get married but aren’t being asked. They have attended higher education and began careers but no one is asking them to get married. Feminism has created too many women who are no longer feminine and men are no longer attracted to them. They can find what they want as easily with porn without the commitment. When and if women get married, their lives are exhausting and unmanageable with trying to work full time, keep a marriage alive, and raise children who they are rarely with.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

moreRead more by Lori Alexander

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Chiropter

    Bahaha, she gives “feminism” a pretty good sell. These evil little sluts are educated, self sufficient, confident, and happy! No one drives them into repressive, boring lives of forced service. It’s just awful.

    I’ll be sure to tell my husband that our lives are unmanagable though; I think he’ll be surprised.

    Side note – the fundies never consider that men, even married men, can be feminists too.

  • Tailored

    Lori can keep her shitty life. I’ll take my feminist family dynamics over her hatefulness any day.

  • Melody

    Haha, really? I’m a feminist and I love to cook. Cleaning not such much, but cooking is fun, baking too. Especially trying out new recipes.

    She only knows how to talk nonsense. Attractiveness has nothing to do with someone’s (lack of a) job…

    The way I see it, is it’s all just skills. Cooking is a skill, cleaning is a skill, repearing things around the house is a skill etc. etc. and men and women are equally able to learn them: it’s just that because of gender roles these tend to get divided between the sexes, but they don’t need to be.

  • Alexandra jackson

    The life she just described sounds awesome.Also I’m a feminist and a very good cook.

  • Mel

    I enjoy the fact that the main reason Lori’s post is longer than, oh, 500 words is that she quotes a massive chunk of another woman’s article.

    There have always been women and men who want to marry but can’t find a partner. The only differences now is that people who were prevented from marrying because their spouse was of the same gender can marry now and that women can support themselves outside of their family.

    The whole “college makes you unmarriageable!” trope is really outdated. College educated women were less likely to marry than less educated women in the 1950’s and 1960’s. College makes women more likely to marry and less likely to divorce since the 1990’s through today.

  • Mirella222

    Statistically, the more education a woman has, the more likely she is to be married. Also, couples where both parties have degrees are more likely to stay together than couples where neither person completed high school. So if you’re all about happy marriages, it seems like you should be encouraging women to pursue higher education. As for both parents working, that is frankly an economic necessity. Most people cannot live anywhere near comfortably on a single income, and the average single income certainly does not allow you to provide for a family and still have some left over to save for a rainy day, which in effect means that you are constantly at risk for crippling debt and/or bankruptcy if any major expense comes up. Furthermore, if the husband becomes sick, or disabled, or dies, that leaves the family without any means of bringing in an income – and even if the wife manages to get a job at that point, it’ll be one with low wages, erratic hours, and (most likely) no benefits. As for daycare vs SAHM, the jury is still out. Studies show various positive and negative effects linked to both choices, but in both cases, the type of care doesn’t really cause that big of a difference. The big differences between children seem to be linked to their parents and how they treat them, regardless of whether they have daycare, a nanny, a SAHM, etc. Children whose parents are invested in them, supportive of them, spend time with them, are emotionally available, nurturing, etc. tend to fare better than the children whose parents are distant, uninterested, volatile, angry, etc. So it’s more about treating your child well rather than panicking over sending them to daycare or not.

  • thatotherjean

    Oh, dear. Where to start? I have a college degree, have been married for fifty years to the same man, have raised two children (who went to public schools, then college) to be competent adults, and have been a feminist pretty much all my life. I can cook, too.

    Where does Lori get these ideas? to Has she ever met an actual feminist, or only the ones she makes up in her head?

  • lady_black

    The truth is that college has never made women “unmarriageable.” Not in the 1950s and 1960s and not now.

  • AFo

    How does she look at educated, accomplished working women and decide “this is evil?” And for all of her hysterical screeching, she sure as hell doesn’t make her way sound the least bit attractive.

  • Anri

    I also hear the feminists are listening to that awful “jazz” stuff, and maybe even drinking gin.

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    There are too many young women who want to get married but aren’t being asked. They have attended higher education and began careers but no one is asking them to get married

    Well, they could do the asking themselves.

  • hoptimist

    If people can ‘find what they want as easily with porn’ then I think they should stick to porn. Why force them into a relationship with an actual human being if that is is not what they want or can deal with – that’s just a recipe for making two people unhappy.

  • bekabot

    I’m not an advocate of college for everybody. One of the things which has gone massively wrong during the last 35 or 40 years, and was pretty much askew even before then, is that college has become the only passport to a “decent” (which is to say, non-impoverished) life. All the same, one of the things this means is that college-educated women, as opposed to non-college-educated women, have become more valuable per capita than ever, and their life circumstances and outcomes and all that stuff tend to turn out much better than do those of their non-college-educated sisters. Most important, their marriages turn out much better than do those of their non-college-educated sisters, and they get divorced much less frequently.

  • Mary Hannah bates

    THe MRS. degree. High school grads marry each other in high school. College grads marry in college.

  • smrnda

    Lori wouldn’t be happy – you brought facts to the argument!

  • smrnda

    There are too many young women who want to get married but aren’t being asked.

    Isn’t this what is going on among many conservative Christians? All these women taught to be ‘godly’ and that there would be nice godly suitors lining up for them and it isn’t happening in their little fundamentalist home-schooling communities?

  • Not in Lori’s world.

  • Julia Childress

    The QF family model is this hodgepodge of Bible, Queen Victoria/Jane Austen, Leave it to Beaver and Mayberry. Much of it is so silly. Lori acts like it’s normal for healthy kids to be under the thumbs of their parents all day. She seems to have no idea that for much of the 20th century, when kids were out of school, they were hanging around with other neighborhood kids most of the time, not hanging around with their mothers. Imagine a life where your mother homeschools you, then restricts your social life to your siblings and church friends, where you have little autonomy or private time. Just awful. And yes, Lori’s feminist bogeywoman is everything modern that she fears distilled into a single stereotype.

  • Anonyme

    Lori ranting about how eeeeviiil and trashy society is today reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from ‘The Simpsons’. As said by Ned Flanders, “I wish we lived in the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.”

  • Nea

    I’m a feminist who cooks, quilts, knits… basically, a lot of the traditional “women” sort of things. Funny how I can do all that and work too.

  • Jo

    I cook/bake, quilt, care for my family, work full time in a career, find time to read, garden and my house is super tidy . And I don’t come home and collapse like Lori think we do.

  • smrnda

    The other thing is, in Regency Period Austen the whole model of courtship was one shared by the broader society, at least for certain social classes, and it involved young people going sort of ‘out and about’ at regular social events. The Quiverfull people are trying to jump start a subculture where parent guided courtship will work without realizing that, since they’re a tiny number of people, it won’t.

    They also need to think that, pragmatic concerns were more important than ‘correct theology’ in the past.

  • smrnda

    Men are also concerned about women’s earning potential, and the whole ‘college not college’ has become a defining point of shared culture that’s often greater than ethnicity. Women who don’t have college educations are more or less left looking at potential makes who also don’t, and who have greatly diminished earning potential. So the lack of marital stability seems to be, in the end, all about who has better financial stability.

  • Mel

    College educated women did have lower life-time marriage rates in the 50’s and 60’s. It was probably a side-effect of unusually high early marriage rates. CP/QF re-interpret that data into “unmarriageable” – but some communities did look down on women who had the audacity to work when they had children. My husband’s grandmother went back to teaching school when her youngest was 2 years old. The kids turned out fine, but I’m still hearing about her choice over 50 years later from her neighbors’ grandkids.

    Did I mention I miss the city sometimes?

  • Mel

    I agree with that partially.

    College for everyone is a terrible idea. The total percentage of the adult population who earns a bachelor’s degree before age 40 is right around 35% and has been stagnant since the massive GI Bill influx after WWII. The main difference is that white men were over-represented compared to women and minority men.

    College is one possible path to a middle-class life – but it’s not certain. Not all degrees are equally desirable to employers. People with degrees that are not in high demand can certainly get jobs – but the competition is more fierce.

    Another option used to be advanced vocational training. It’s still an option, but funding has been systematically slashed by state governments. I think this is a prudent option and one that should be refunded quickly by the State.

    What I told my students is that most people will need some form of post-secondary training or education to earn a middle-class living.

    In terms of why college educated women marry better, I suspect much of it comes from both the advantages that come from being in a higher economic class to start with (since middle and upper class students are over-represented in colleges compared to lower SES students) and the fact that delaying marriage up to age 25 knocks the divorce rate.

  • Mel

    There was a large size long-term study of daycare outcomes in the 1990’s.

    The take-away that Lori always ignores is that the worst outcomes came from kids who were cared for in home by a parent who did not want to be a primary caregiver. Those kids did much better with out-of-home care that was excellent and actually did better with mediocre out-of-home care as well.

    Being trapped with a parent who hates their life is worse than being cared for by someone who is not great at child-care – that’s a sobering message.

  • Mel

    Shhh! Don’t confuse Lori with the truth!

  • lady_black

    Maybe the ones who finished college didn’t WISH to marry and didn’t need to marry. There is something to be said about that. I wouldn’t put up with any man’s shit, because I don’t need to.
    And that’s probably a big reason why this marriage worked out, and the one with my ex didn’t. I’m with him because I want to be with him. I don’t need him.

  • Zeldacat

    Funny, that, on both sides of my family I am descended from grandmothers who were, at best, average cooks. At worst, much, much worse. The microwave was a wonderful invention especially for my maternal grandmother. They’re both gone now, but every time I see commercials or hear ads about “my grandmother’s cooking” I have to laugh my ass off. I love and respect the memories I have of them both, they were wonderful women, but cooks they were just not. Feminists? Somewhat, definitely, but they didn’t arrive equipped with some of the assumptions I have. Hell, ask my mom who is in her early 60s about what’s changed since she was growing up and it sounds like a different universe!

    My stepdad is one of the best cooks I’ve ever met. Yes, he has the penis and everything. I’m sure the fundies would be horrified. Meanwhiile, when I’m visiitng I will enjoy the food!

  • Sari

    I’m a feminist and a SAHM. To Lori, I must be a ducking unicorn.

  • Sari
  • zizania

    I cook, bake, garden, and knit. I dress modestly, raised my son with discipline, and am still married after 33 years in spite of some pretty challenging times. I’m also very much a feminist, and so is my husband.

  • texassa

    A weekday in the life of feminist me: Get up early, work out, get beautifully dressed (hair, makeup, dress, jewelry) for work, make the bed, grab a healthy breakfast while heading out the door, go to work (as an executive at my company), have a healthy lunch I either made or pick up, leave work, hit the grocery store (as needed) come home, make healthy dinner for husband and me (or he makes dinner), do chores as needed (dishes, laundry, cleaning, yard work), relax or watch a show with my husband, go to sleep, repeat. I feel pretty competent in most areas of life. Sorry, haters.

  • texassa


  • texassa

    “They can find what they want as easily with porn without the commitment.” This should tell anyone all they need to know about these lunatics and their world view. To these people, men marry a woman for sex. This is a ridiculous, insulting (to men and women), objectifying, and sex-obsessed way to view marriage, relationships in general, love, and the value humans place on each other. I would opt to spend my life completely alone over being in one of these “marriages” this woman describes. Nobody is going to tell me my worth and value is sex. How disgusting.

  • Quinsha

    Hmmm…be a feminist or marry someone like Michael? I think I will take option #1.

  • crden

    Quite true! OTOH, this is Lori’s imaginary world, where facts don’t hold reign and women are not to be assertive.