Sharing this story because it sounds very much like the passive-aggressive revenge plots that happen in these extreme submission of women Evangelical marriages. If you are not allowed to really discuss truthfully the things bothering you then your only outlet as a wife is to find a passive-aggressive way to make your point.

From the archives of Debi and Michael Pearl at No Greater Joy. It should be titled ‘Debi’s Revenge’ instead of ‘How to Get Kids to Remember’

Michael likes to get up earlier than Debi and fix his own saucepan filled with hot cereal. Apparently for years now he’s been trotting off leaving the dry pan sitting out. You know what happens when you leave a drying pan that once held oatmeal in it? Cement is easier to chip off.

Debi has been cheerfully reminding Michael for 38 years to clean out his pan and bowl and he’s ignored her words. If this has been a child constantly forgetting you know both of the Pearls would have already spanked that child silly with plastic plumbing line. Not a spankable offense. Then this happened:

It’s actually pretty ingenious that Debi plotted enough to do this, but at the same time it’s treating her husband like a child. In her own cult brand of total submission it’s rebellion and non-submission, manipulation and disrespect. It goes against everything she teaches on the husband is the big boss.

Don’t do this. Speak to your husband. Let him know unemotionally how his actions and inactions affect you. Quiverfull always fails to realize that so many problems can be resolved in marriage just by proper communication.

You cannot communicate so you manipulate, and you do it in a way that holds a grain of humiliation.

When your sphere of influence is so small and without influence you stoop to some rather petty ways to assert yourself.

Don’t be like Debi and don’t stay with an abusive husband who is so selfish that you must come up with schemes to humiliate him to comply with simple requests.

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