Do you remember not so long ago when I shared some of Nancy Campbell’s book on encouraging your husband? If you read that series you’ll remember that most of the things suggested were pretty over the top ridiculous, fawning and infantile.

There is nothing wrong with doing or saying nice things for your spouse or sig-o, but these read like the desperate propping up of some weak, unsure, emotionally fragile person. That’s just a whole lot of work, must more than a healthy marriage requires. And I only screen capped a very small portion of this list posted at Nancy Campbell’s site – Above Rubies. Sounds exhausting from here. But then again I’m married to a fully capable ADULT male who does not need his ego polished constantly.

If your love requires all of these things it’s not really love. Love should be able to withstand the moments of un-loveliness and keep on trucking. The most loving thing my husband has done for me is to clean up after me after a horrid asthma attack caused me to throw up everywhere in our bedroom while I was changing the bed sheets. He sent me to take a shower, remade the bed with clean sheets, put the soiled bedding in the washer and wiped up vomit without a word. He does not make my coffee, but that does not matter to me, where the rubber meets the road he’s there doing kindness like this.

Quiverfull teaches the most backward ideas on love and marriage. Love is the one that loves you at your most unlovely moments.

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