If Everyone is Celibate Why Does Doug Wilson Have a Sexuality Problem?

If Everyone is Celibate Why Does Doug Wilson Have a Sexuality Problem? July 14, 2018

Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog has a big problem. A big old gay problem. He’s still upset with the Revoice Conference and the fact that some people who identify as gay, bi, transgender, lesbian, queer, whatever might possibly also identify as Christian. The Revoice materials bring up this question: If everyone is celebate why does Doug Wilson have a sexuality problem?

Who died and made him the God of Peeping Toms, metaphorically peeping into the bedrooms of consenting adults without their permission to judge their sexuality? Get out of our bedrooms, Doug!

This piece by Wilson seeks to define what and who is part of the LBGTQ designation. Oh of course Doug takes it into some weird places. Just look at his description of bisexuals:

To quote a dumb GEICO commercial, that’s not how it works, that’s not how any of this works!

Doug needs to educate himself, seek out gays and bis and ask his questions before speaking on a topic like this.

Until those in Evangelical Quiverful learn to speak with knowledge and respect of those different than them there’s zero chance anything they say or do will be taken seriously. You cannot ridicule someone into heeding your words.

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  • Michael Neville

    “Celibate” in the title is misspelled.


  • Tawreos

    Doug needs to talk to actual bi people instead of just writing down his fantasies for all to see.

  • DingoJack

    “Doug needs to educate himself, seek out gays and bis and ask his questions before speaking on a topic like this.”
    Makes me think of:

    Plerumque enim accidit ut aliquid de terra, de coelo, de caeteris mundi huius elementis, de motu et conversione vel etiam magnitudine et intervallis siderum, de certis defectibus solis ac lunae, de circuitibus annorum et temporum, de naturis animalium, fruticum, lapidum, atque huiusmodi caeteris, etiam non christianus ita noverit, ut certissima ratione vel experientia teneat. Turpe est autem nimis et perniciosum ac maxime cavendum, ut christianum de his rebus quasi secundum christianas Litteras loquentem, ita delirare audiat, ut, quemadmodum dicitur, toto coelo errare conspiciens, risum tenere vix possit. Et non tam molestum est, quod errans homo deridetur, sed quod auctores nostri ab eis qui foris sunt, talia sensisse creduntur, et cum magno eorum exitio de quorum salute satagimus, tamquam indocti reprehenduntur atque respuuntur. Cum enim quemquam de numero Christianorum in ea re quam optime norunt, errare comprehenderint, et vanam sententiam suam de nostris Libris asserere; quo pacto illis Libris credituri sunt, de resurrectione mortuorum, et de spe vitae aeternae, regnoque coelorum, quando de his rebus quas iam experiri, vel indubitatis numeris percipere potuerunt, fallaciter putaverint esse conscriptos? Quid enim molestiae tristitiaeque ingerant prudentibus fratribus temerarii praesumptores, satis dici non potest, cum si quando de prava et falsa opinatione sua reprehendi, et convinci coeperint ab eis qui nostrorum Librorum auctoritate non tenentur, ad defendendum id quod levissima temeritate et apertissima falsitate dixerunt, eosdem Libros sanctos, unde id probent, proferre conantur, vel etiam memoriter, quae ad testimonium valere arbitrantur, multa inde verba pronuntiant, non intellegentes neque quae loquuntur, neque de quibus affirmant*.

    De Genesi ad Litteram I, xix, 39. St. Augustine of Hippo.
    * Translation by J. H. Taylor in Ancient Christian Writers, Newman Press, 1982, volume 41:

    “Usually, even a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other elements of this world, about the motion and orbit of the stars and even their size and relative positions, about the predictable eclipses of the sun and moon, the cycles of the years and the seasons, about the kinds of animals, shrubs, stones, and so forth, and this knowledge he holds to as being certain from reason and experience. Now, it is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking nonsense on these topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn. The shame is not so much that an ignorant individual is derided, but that people outside the household of faith think our sacred writers held such opinions, and, to the great loss of those for whose salvation we toil, the writers of our Scripture are criticized and rejected as unlearned men. If they find a Christian mistaken in a field which they themselves know well and hear him maintaining his foolish opinions about our books, how are they going to believe those books in matters concerning the resurrection of the dead, the hope of eternal life, and the kingdom of heaven, when they think their pages are full of falsehoods and on facts which they themselves have learnt from experience and the light of reason? Reckless and incompetent expounders of Holy Scripture bring untold trouble and sorrow on their wiser brethren when they are caught in one of their mischievous false opinions and are taken to task by those who are not bound by the authority of our sacred books. For then, to defend their utterly foolish and obviously untrue statements, they will try to call upon Holy Scripture for proof and even recite from memory many passages which they think support their position, although they understand neither what they say nor the things about which they make assertion.”

  • SAO

    Why do fundamentalist Christians spend so much time suspecting others of sin, rather than focusing on how they can be better humans?

  • AFo

    Wtf did I just read? I know Doug thinks he’s making bisexual people look ridiculous, but he’s really just making himself look like more of an idiot than usual.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Ha! And so it is!

  • bekabot

    He is married to his wife, in all the normal ways, but once a month he and his celibate guy friend go off on a fishing trip. They promise that nothing ever happens, although they are both powerfully attracted to one another. They channel all that sexual energy into late night conversations about the suppleness of trout.

    Yes, and here you have the template for many a pagan marriage in the ancient world, which the Fundies have managed to reproduce through their ceaseless insistence that a woman, as a born inferior, can’t be a proper companion for a man, and that what a man really needs is the camaraderie and support of his fellow-men, who can understand him properly, which is something his wife can’t do. A wife is there to bear the children and raise them and run the household, but love is something to be shared between buddies; it’s wasted on women.

    All this takes place under the auspices of the Father God Jupiter the Biggest and the Best Jehovah — and it’s exactly what Doug Wilson has been promoting for decades, which is why he has no right to object to it now.

    Congratulations, guys; you’ve become your opposition.

  • Raging Bee

    You cannot ridicule someone into heeding your words.

    Nope, that’s what guns are for.

  • Raging Bee

    Someone needs to go through the ‘Tubes and replace all that “lorem ipsum” crap with the above Latin quote. I’d love to see headlines about isolated incidences of heads exploding as a result.

  • John-Hugh Boyd

    “Celebate! Celebate! Dance to the music!…..”

    Sorry…couldn’t resist!

  • John-Hugh Boyd

    Lot less energy required to criticise than to actually DO something about it!

  • DingoJack
  • Aloha

    He’s confusing “bi” with polygamy: the patriarch’s sexuality.

    Its the patriarchs who would show up with a wife and a lover in tow.

  • Zeldacat

    It’s also a lot easier to go around criticizing people about “sins” that they personally wouldn’t participate in – makes them automatically Better Than Those Perverts without even trying!

  • zizania

    “Hank’s different when he’s fishing.” Apologies to my American friends who won’t get the Corner Gas reference.

  • DingoJack

    The Dog River Wordsworth!

  • Sarah Flood

    Seems somebody doesn’t understand the difference between bi and poly. And a weird sort of poly, at that.

  • Sarah Flood

    Or just poly people. Of which I know several. Either way, he obviously has no idea what he’s talking about.

  • Sarah Flood

    Also, that’s a really specific scenario Doug has worked out there. This feels more like a fantasy than anything. Which is… awkward.

  • Aimee Shulman

    A LOT of his statements about “How Others Are Definitely Sinning Right This Minute” come off as being weird fantasy scenarios. But then, having read a fair bit of his writing on sex in general, I get the feeling that much of his “theology” is actually his attempt to justify and universalize his personal sex kinks, since he’s obviously obsessed with sex and can’t be happy unless he’s “proved” that what God wants for every single human is exactly what Wilson himself wants. The ones like this are ones that he can’t admit to himself he likes because they go against his views in some way, so he justifies writing them out in loving detail by saying “Don’t do THIS thing that I’m going to describe uncomfortably thoroughly, as though I had spent a really long time imagining it out.”

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    I thought it was a sheep-herding trip, not a fishing trip.
    Maybe I need to watch that movie again.

  • tania dama

    I think this is the celebration time and people need to do it. Despite some factors it their main chance to celebrate now..