What Does Michael Pearl Really Believe Besides Beating Children?

What Does Michael Pearl Really Believe Besides Beating Children? September 9, 2018

This month’s No Greater Joy magazine had a chapter from the book Michael Pearl has been working on post-stroke for publication. It’s called ‘The Gap Fact’ and has something to do with creationism and his version of science, which likely means there’s no real established legitimate real science anywhere in it. So what does Michael Pearl really believe besides beating children?

Besides the beating children until you break their spirits there are a couple of other stances we’ve seen through the years.

  • Beating animals to prove you are bigger and badder than them.
  • Emotionally abusing your wife until she’s broken in spirit.
  • Denial of mental health issues and claiming all depression is selfishness.
  • Denial of physical health problems.
  • Insisting wife is to give you sex upon demand.
  • No marriage licenses.
  • Eating animal feed corn is good for your family.

So now we come to Michael’s thoughts on creation and it’s a doozy with nothing to support it.

And what does Michael use to justify his view? De nada, just a bunch of claims that all believers knew this to be true in that past before the Young Earthers arrived. He’s saying that God instantly made antiques so that everyone would think the world is way older than it is, so it is older and younger at the same time.

He ends with this:

I cannot figure out what is more comical, Pearl insisting his book is well researched, or the fact that he thinks that declaring that ‘simple believers’ know the truth.

And these are the people dictating what is and isn’t Godly to teach in homeschooling. Please do not teach this demented and uneducated man’s made up nonsense as fact if you want a well educated child. Beginning to think that the worst of the worst public schools hold a better chance of educating anyone than anything that the Pearls teach.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jcoelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping ithe plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Wait, I thought death didn’t enter the world until after the Adam and Eve story. So why would pre-sin leaves fall from trees and decompose into compost if there is no death?

  • Jennny

    Family gathering last week to welcome new g/child. We were all in stitches that scientist aunty brought a series of board books for him. ‘Relativity for Babies,’ ‘Quantum Physics for Babies’ and ‘Rocket Science for Babies’. Scientist parents plan to get much use out of them. I used to write children’s stories. Am thinking of ‘The Human Reproductive System for Babies’. That’s for Brett Kavnaugh who said all birth control is abortifacient…and now, specially for the Hams and Pearls of this world..’Debunking Creationism with Facts for Babies’ or ‘Evolutionary Theory for Babies’…just a thought, i’m sure they’d learn a lot, one sciency word per page…and I might get my round the world cruise on the proceeds…mmm!

  • SAO

    I imagine there are enough crackpots on the internet that Pearl can find sources to footnote or quote, regardless of what total crap he believes or wants to sell. Besides, many of the CPM crowd consider their own leaders to be authorities, which boils down to the earth is flat because everyone we listen to days it is.

  • AFo

    This is the education that’s going to produce the great leaders of tomorrow?

  • Anne Fenwick

    That fits the Poe law in that nearly every part of my brain wants to believe it must be satire.

  • Mel

    One of Ken Hamm’s book has an entire chapter about how plants don’t really die – because of that exact question – or the related question of “If everything was a vegan, how does the death of plants before the Fall count?”

    I’d love to explain the chapter’s thesis – but I can’t make heads or tails out of it. It’s something like “Ancient Hebrew uses the word “death of plants” to mean something like wilting or the response of plants in wilting so plants didn’t die before the Fall even if the Bible said it did….

    It’s almost as absurd as the chapter on how aggressive/defensive structures came into being if God created the world in six days, perfectly and without beneficial changes since then. Apparently, if you state often enough that T. rex ate plants before the Fall with their long pointy teeth, it eventually sounds less insane.

    From my POV, when you have to start creating a massive extra-Biblical structure to make the Bible fit science, you should probably take a big step back and ask a far more important question – “Was the Bible really written as a science manual? Is that what people used it for prior to, say, 1400 AD? “.

  • Mel

    The saddest part is that Hamm et al., publish books similar to Pearl’s idea that kids and teens read and think that they are learning real science. The problem is that the “objections” they bring up have been disproven 60-100 years ago…or are already included in assumptions….or are only objections if you are trying to make the Bible into a science textbook instead of a scripture.

  • persephone

    This is exactly why I now have the following brain meme: Mediocre man thinks big thoughts. It pops up every time I see anything by Charlie Kirk or Ben Shapiro or their general ilk. Why are we teaching this mediocre white dudes that their thoughts are important and valuable, when we should be laughing them off the planet?

  • persephone

    I always flash to Bill Hicks’ God burying fossils routine. They actually believe this garbage.

  • Julia Childress

    I love to see the knots these people tie themselves into trying to explain things like this, or the two accounts of creation, or was Jesus crucified before or after Passover (Mark and John differ). It would be funny if it weren’t for the fact that kids are actually taught this crap as fact.

  • Martin Penwald

    Who knew Mickey was a Lastthursdayist?

  • Aloha

    That was my thought as well. The earth was pristine and perfect, so why would God make the moon full of divets and craters? Why put the residue of nasty volcanis explosions? Doesnt sound perfect to me.

  • Aloha

    Ive heard creationists argue that people and animals ate the fruit of plants, but not the plants themselves.

  • persephone

    Those awesome canines on Smilodon were for breaking open tough fruit, like coconuts, obvs.

  • persephone

    Since almost no one had a copy prior to Gutenberg, or that many afterward for years, I would say the priests were using it to keep the clerks busy and quiet, copying it over and over.

  • Nea

    I’m not surprised. It’s the least amount of understanding packaged as being “Understanding what others don’t.” Right up Mike-Mike’s alley, up to and including the fact that he learned it from someone else and it solved any cognitive dissonance that bothers him. (The very reason he is KJV-only)

  • Mel

    That makes a whole lot more sense (relatively speaking) than trying to argue that plants don’t really die.

    Or that a mouth full of sharp pointy teeth is really handy for eating plants.

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    You see, it’s all part of God’s big joke. He made the Earth LOOK old, buried dinosaur bones in the ground, added astronomical evidence of a universe that has been expanding for billions of years, all as a joke. He KNEW that eventually humans would develop the skills to find all this evidence, and they would conclude from the evidence that the Earth was in fact billions of years old, in contradiction to what was written in the Bible. And then he would send them to Hell for that conclusion. Bwahaha! Oh, God’s up there slapping his knee at the hilarious practical joke he pulled on scientists. He’s such a kidder.

  • otrame

    Oh, hell, he can’t even be original. I don’t know whose idea it was at the start, but I heard Hagee spouting the Gap idea at least 20 years ago.

    The idea is that the earth was formed a long time ago, but after a gap in time we have no way to identify clearly, god more or less remade it at the time he introduced people and animals and such. I don’t remember the details, but it is an attempt to reconcile “billions of years” (as Ken Hamm says—be sure to add the tone of contempt and ridicule he always uses) and the young earth idea.

    In other words, Pearl is just stealing other people’s ridiculous ideas.

  • otrame

    I think your last sentence should be “He’s such an asshole.”

  • TinnyWhistler

    Cats are *obligate carnivores*
    They will die if they only eat plants. I think I’ve figured this out though. God originally made them to be omnivores but after the fall they didn’t need to eat plants anymore so slowly, over time, their systems evol….dammit. so close.

    The funny thing is, that the whole thing can make much more sense if you read “death” as more of a spiritual death, and the fall as being about when humans first moved from ignorance of their own mortality (tree of life) to sentience (tree of knowledge of good and evil). Reading it as being about the first time that death started to MEAN something rather than being the first time that anything on the planet died just makes more sense and actually presents an interesting tradeoff: Knowledge is power and all of that, but ignorance is bliss and it kinda sucks to be sentient sometimes!

  • Ally

    So, what Mikey’s saying is that God made the fossils just to tease us, old bones to test our faith in Jesus.

    (Credits to Roy Zimmerman)


  • Nefercat

    Uuh, he thinks that his version of creation will not invite ridicule? Okay. Sure.

    That God, always a kidder.

  • Nefercat

    “”Was the Bible really written as a science manual?”
    Exactly! It is just mind boggling that the same people who understand the concept of explicitly named parables in the Bible can’t seem to grasp that other Biblical stories are also parables, allegories, etc.

  • Nefercat


  • persephone

    Jehovah’s Witnesses have been teaching that for decades, at least 45 years, just based on my history

  • Aibrean

    Congratulations on your new grandchild. 🙂 Also, the more scientifically accurate books for children the better.

  • Rebecca

    So as much as I am not at all a fan of Micheal Pearl, his position appears to be more intellectually honest than, say, Ken Ham’s. All the evidence points to an old earth. The only way to justifiably argue that the earth is young would be suggest that it was made to LOOK old. God deliberately making the earth to look older than it is going to create a bunch of theological issues, but scientifically, it can’t ever be ruled out 100%.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    … scientifically, it can’t ever be ruled out 100%.”

    Ok, you have a few problems here.
    First, science doesn’t “prove” things — that’s math. Science collects facts, makes observations and hypothesis. From which scientists arrive at theories that are retested in the light of new evidence. Theories also make predictions — and when the predictions are filled, that verifies the theory.
    Second, science does not have to have to “disprove” god. Those who claim that a god exists have to provide the evidence of god’s existence. So far, nothing in the natural world points to evidence of god’s existence, nor the need for a god.
    Third point, Occam’s Razor — things look old because they are old.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    My brother and SIL are YECs that homeschool their kids. They don’t allow their kids to watch the Plaent Earth Series because it talks about evolution and climate change. (And they don’t celebrate Christmas because it’s not in the bible, but they do celebrate Boxing Day — she’s from Canada.) Now, on first glance you’d think they’re really doing their children a disservice. But, when you add into the blend that their kids are both on the autistic spectrum. The older boy is 18, is highly verbal, but lacks in social development and has the intellectual development of a 14 YO, and it’s questionable if he will ever develop further than this. The younger boy is 13, and is developmentally at the level of a 5 yo — everyone involved in his care thinks that he has reached his maximum potential. Generally, I would argue that children need to be taught the evidence and the scientific concurrence about what that evidence shows us about the age of the earth/galaxy/universe and how things came to be as they are now. But, in the case of these two kids, I don’t see how the lack of this knowledge will hinder them.

  • Hannah

    Or maybe, you know, the world looks old because it is? I hate young earthers, they piss me off. They piss me off even more in my own church, because we believe our souls existed before the world did. So I’m sitting there in amazement thinking about watching the dinosaurs come and go (I love dinosaurs) and early human evolution and then some twit feels the need to point out that the world is six thousand years old, even though it’s not. Nah, mate. You can take your six thousand years and shove it. Doesn’t work anyway. Humans have existed for roughly two million years, so how do they square that circle?

  • Mimc

    I was raised on those books and they made me talk like an idiot. They could only suppress my love of true science for so long though.