Saw this post by Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife several days ago but was unable to post it due to having to be away in San Jose to sort out the bulk of my furniture and household goods at the customs warehouse. I’ve been thinking about this post for days, even while slogging around looking like a Dickensian urchin elbow deep in books, clothing and pots and pans. Lori is saying, in her own blaming and shaming ways that women who aren’t home birthing babies and slaving for the husband are engaging in ‘subtle whoring.’ She mostly means working women.

I call you-know-what on Lori and Ken liking this while young or teens. Upon first run of this silly song in 1977 it sank like a stone unplayed on radio. It only became popular in 1982, when both were in their mid twenties (and very unhappily married.) I remember when this song came out because one day I was busy making the guys in the warehouse at Exxon laugh miming throwing up to this song when it came on the shop radio. I hated this song in my long-ago punk rocker days, and as a post-Evangelical older woman I still hate it. It’s the worst of trying to cram the beautiful spectrum of womanhood into only a few very limiting roles.

It’s so sappy and insipid of a song, dealing with a woman singing about her super sophisticated life jetting here and there with millionaire playboys, who regrets she didn’t just become a wife and a mother. The very first time I heard it I remarked to a friend that this had to be written by a man. It was. See this mess for yourself here, but I would suggest you have a barf bag at ready:

Did you catch the abortion-shaming? Gee thanks, Lori, now I have to go wash my ears out with some P!nk. Somehow I completely blanked on the lyrics ‘subtle whoring’ but of course it leaps out at Lori.

No, no, NO! Having hopes and dreams, and following them is not any sort of ‘whoring’ or prostitution of self. Not even if they don’t involve children or husbands. Life is not a one size fits all pair of itchy pantyhose.

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