Toxic Marriage Advice From Doug Wilson

Toxic Marriage Advice From Doug Wilson March 3, 2019

It’s always amusing when people with no real ideas on how to conduct personal relationships decide they know how to give out marriage advice. Doug Wilson, of Blog and Mablog, thinks he knows it all on making marriage work. But keep in mine that this is also a guy that thinks men conquer and subdue and women lay back to be conquered. He also thought it was a dandy idea in his romance novel to have a man set a building on fire to earn the attention of a woman.

Life, and marriage, just does not work that way. Unless maybe you are a sociopath.

Doug has written a long piece that is supposedly an open letter to another of his imaginary parishioners outlining what he thinks the real problem is. He reduces it down to the simple lie that keeps rolling through Quiverfull and Evangelicalism –  Men crave respect and women need love.

Seems to me that if both partners were showing equal measures of respect and love to one another these problems would be eased. We all know that one  of the biggest problems in many Quiverfull marriages is a lack of honesty about feelings and emotions stemming from inadequate communication.

Companionship? Nope, not the problem here.

Does offering a solution anger you? I can honestly say that someone offering a legitimate solution to a problem generally does not provoke someone else into a fit of rage. Unless they’re pretty petty and immature to start with.

It seems that so many of the problems among the religious crowd boil down to immaturity, lack of reasonable communications and unrealistic expectations. Don’t keep score, don’t hold grudges. Do not expect your husband/wife to magically read your mind and do what you want! Just freaking talk to one another and stop taking offense at every little thing! It really is that simple, unlike all of this talk of women need love and men need respect. Everyone needs love and respect.


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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years You can read more about the author here.

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