Do Not Marry Unless You Are Prepared to Have Children Like a Holy Pez Dispenser?

Do Not Marry Unless You Are Prepared to Have Children Like a Holy Pez Dispenser? May 31, 2019


We haven’t taken a look at Nancy Campbell’s webpage Above Rubies in quite some time. Most of the articles are on the same theme as always – Embrace Motherhood or Be happy in your role as a mother. Interestingly Nancy is also repeating a new one – get married young. She seems to waffle on exactly how young, stating in some pieces that young Jewish men in the time of Jesus married shortly after their bar mitzvah, or in some other articles making 18 years old seem like the ideal age for men and women to marry.

Then Nancy comes out with this one – if you’re not prepared to start having babies like some folks collect Beanie Babies you have no business getting married. She states several times that having babies is the real goal of marriage, more than anything else.

Not companionship, not love, not any other reason but babies, babies, babies. Nancy also warns that if you bother to put off marriage or babies until you are finished with school and financially settled that it just might be too late. She thinks, like Lori Alexander and others, that the fertility might quickly flee.

Which is rich considering that Nancy only has six children, clearly she was not following the ideas of Quiverfull she teaches any more than Debi Pearl or Lori Alexander. Neither of which have huge numbers of kids either. Are there any Quiverfull superstars besides Michelle Duggar that actually genuinely took the mandate to heart and had an entire houseful of kids? I’m not seeing it. Another case of do as I say, not as I do I guess.

Here’s what Nancy said about marriage being primarily for purposes of having children:

Therefore, a young couple are not ready to marry if they are not prepared to embrace children. To go into marriage with the plan to stop children for a certain length of time is not God’s will. To stop God visiting you with His gift of life for any human reason (even “spiritual sounding” reasons) is not God’s will.

I know more than one couple who stopped having children because they were in “the ministry” and wanted to serve God. These couples have the wrong concept of God and the Bible. The perfect will of God will never negate God’s existing commandments.

God desires and looks for children from the marriage union. If we don’t want children, we have a different mindset than God. We are not in step with Him.

No, this is one of those big decisions every couple must make, not Nancy, not a pastor, but the individuals participating in the marriage. Not everyone is able to raise a child,  not everyone wants children. Would it not be better than the only children born were arriving in families where they were loved and wanted?

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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